Pubdate: Sat, 01 Jan 2000 Source: New York Times (NY) Copyright: 2000 The New York Times Company Contact: http://www.nytimes.com/ Forum: http://www10.nytimes.com/comment/ Author: Christopher S. Wren LEFT OUT OF THE CELEBRATION Their Hopes And Fears Know No Season "If I could erase this year and do it over, I would," said Anthony Boyce, a heroin addict who wanted to check into a detoxification program and celebrate the dawn of the New Year by sleeping through it. "I need to clear my head and not think about what to do next," said Boyce, 47. "When you're carrying a load on your shoulders 24 hours a day, it gets to where you can't think of a way out." At the Positive Health Project, a walk-up sanctuary at 305 W. 37th St., some of the homeless and destitute shared their modest hopes and considerable fears as a few blocks away Times Square was being readied for the biggest New Year's Eve show in its history. The project dispenses more than 13,000 clean syringes and 36,000 condoms a month, along with advice about staying healthy on the street. Dolores Serina, 35, said that she had to move into a women's shelter after her husband went to prison for selling drugs and city officials declared their basement room an illegal dwelling. Although she said she was in a methadone program to battle her craving for heroin, Ms. Serina had to leave her 4-month-old son with her mother-in-law until she can scrape up money for an apartment. "Going into the New Year, I'm scared," Ms. Serina said, as she huddled against her companion, Rolando Morales, 25, whose drug-injecting left him HIV-positive. "A lot of these people haven't slept last night," Ms. Serina said. "They depend on this place for safety." For the first time, the project's executive director closed the needle exchange and other services this New Year's Eve for fear that his drug users would get swept up by the officers patrolling the celebration at Times Square. Mrs. Serina said, "I look around and I see people spending money on all these little gizmo-gadgets and I say, 'My God, if they only gave me a dollar, I'd be all right."' - --- MAP posted-by: allan wilkinson