Pubdate: Mon, 31 Jul 2000
Source: Toronto Star (CN ON)
Copyright: 2000 The Toronto Star
Contact:  One Yonge St., Toronto ON, M5E 1E6
Fax: (416) 869-4322
Website: http://www.thestar.com/
Forum: http://www.thestar.com/editorial/disc_board/
Author: Janice Turner, Life Writer

UNIQUE SERVICE HELPS ADDICTS

Special Counselling Program Caters To Lesbians, Bisexuals And Gay
Men

When Joyce Lee finally decided to get help for her drug and alcohol
abuse, she was determined to be honest about her life. And that meant
talking openly about being a lesbian, among people who could relate.
Totally.

"Straight people can really try to be gay friendly," says the Toronto
woman. "But there are certain things they just can't quite get."

That's why Lee, a pseudonym, was so relieved to learn of the Centre
for Addiction and Mental Health's LesBiGay service, the only program
of its kind in Canada. She joined earlier this year - two years after
Lee and her partner first talked about finding treatment.

"Making the initial call was the hardest things for me to do," she
says, in between deep drags on a cigarette. "I had been drinking since
I was 13, and using drugs to numb my feelings. I was afraid to feel."

If Lee was going out on a date, for example, she'd usually have a few
drinks.

"A few would sometimes turn into too many," she says,
sheepishly.

As she approached 40, Lee knew that if she was ever going to be
successful in treatment she would have to be herself. Completely.

"I wanted to be with other lesbians so I could be me," Lee says. "I
had seen other programs (advertised) but hadn't bothered to call them."

After some initial one-on-one counselling at the centre, she continued
for 12 weekly group sessions. She was pleasantly surprised.

"I thought it would be full of really needy gay people who couldn't
cope with being gay," Lee says. "But they were all rather
well-adjusted, friendly women who wanted to get healthy. That's why we
were all there."

Clients feel particularly at ease because staff are also openly
gay.

"It gives you strength to know that everyone has had their own issues
and that you're not weird," Lee says.

She has learned what her triggers are, and how to try to plan around
them. She has developed new interests, relinquished some friendships
and formed new ones. And she's allowing herself to be more assertive.
She now has no problem simply saying that she's not drinking. She no
longer believes she has to pretend she's belting them back to "appear
sociable."

Lee doesn't stay in touch with the women in the group - "You basically
move on" - but she remembers the experience fondly.

"I had a million revelations," she says, gleefully. "I've quit before,
but never with so much of an understanding of myself."

That understanding, says Lee, is a credit to a service tailored to
communities that are undeniably different.

Lesbians, bisexuals and gay men are often uncomfortable with
traditional addiction services, says Farzana Doctor, a social worker
who manages the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health service.

Before entering the group program, clients typically wait two to three
weeks during which time they are counselled individually. Only 10
people are in a group, so sometimes the wait to join a group can
extend to a couple of months.

Clients are mostly in their 30s and 40s, although the service has seen
people from age 18 to 65. They usually attend a group for three to six
months. About half have been treated elsewhere. And 450 people have
taken the program since it was formalized in the fall of '98.

Topics in the treatment sessions include: relationships, sexuality,
intimacy, work, family, rejection, homophobia, internalized
homophobia, coming out, positive identity and being involved in the
gay, lesbian and bisexual communities.

Fear, loneliness, work stress, relationship difficulties, health
concerns are all issues of particular concern, Doctor notes. The
program also offers support for partners of those in treatment, as
well as couple counselling for gay and lesbian couples.

Harassment by homophobic co-workers can be a major trigger for gay
addicts, Doctor says. Some say they aren't able to socialize or have
sex unless they're drinking.

Not surprising, the Number 1 issue is alcohol followed by marijuana
and club drugs.

"Historically people came out through the bar scene and many still
do," she says.

The centre offers them treatment expertise. But also a sense of
safety.

"Often, guys would have concerns about their safety should other men
in group (therapy) find out about their sexual orientation or have
fears about being harassed or rejected," says Christopher Hadden, who
started running a group for gay men in 1997 after having worked in
general programs for several years.

"Sometimes gay guys might disclose their orientation but stop there,"
he says. "Having a place to discuss life experiences is very important
in the treatment process, and essential to prevent relapse."

Even those who feel they can speak openly in a general group may have
to spend valuable time educating others (including professional staff)
when they need and want to be focusing on themselves, Hadden says.

Among the gay men who have sought treatment is Bill, 45, who is openly
gay in his personal and professional life, and very socially active.
After his partner died of AIDS, Bill started to use cocaine. During
binges his behaviour was erratic and he'd engage in unsafe sex, partly
because of the drug, but also because he hadn't worked through his
grief.

He sought help because he didn't want his life to fall apart. He had
begun to neglect his job and the cocaine was ruining his health and
finances.

He chose to abstain from alcohol and sex, both of which were big
triggers to his cocaine use, for about two months and subsequently
only drank in "safe" social situations with supportive friends. He
attended the gay men's group for about 10 months.

He made a decision, with the group's support, to be tested for HIV.
When it came back positive - as indeed he thought it would - he used
this knowledge to make healthier decisions about his goals and behaviour.

Another gay man who went through the program is Jim. He had been using
alcohol on a daily basis since his late teens. But as he approached
30, he recognized that alcohol was preventing him from getting on with
his life.

Although self-identified as gay, Jim wasn't comfortable with his
sexual orientation, and hadn't been sexually active since his early
20s. He'd never been involved with the gay community and did not have
any gay friends.

He'd bought into many of the negative stereotypes about being gay
(that gay men are effeminate, malicious, sexually irresponsible).
Lonely and isolated, he often drank to escape.

"Attending the gay men's group challenged many of Jim's prejudices
about other gay men and about what the gay community is like," Hadden
says. "He learned how his experience was not unique and how many other
gay men use substances to deal with feelings of shame and internalized
homophobia."

Jim continued to drink off and on for about six months after attending
group therapy. He stopped attending after being dry for a year.

Nelson Parker of the David Kelley Lesbian and Gay Community
Counselling program, Family Services Association of Toronto, referred
about a dozen people to the addiction centre in the last year.

One, a man in his 30s, had previously been in several residential
programs to deal with his drinking.

"This (at the LesBiGay service) was the first time he felt he could
talk about being gay in a recovery program," Parker says. "Talking
about his life in this wholeness made the difference for him."

For more info:

Farzana Doctor at (416) 535-8501 ext. 6781 or Chris Hadden at ext.
6784 at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health.

Family Service Association's David Kelley Gay and Lesbian Community
Counselling: (416) 595-0307.
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