Pubdate: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 Source: Philadelphia Weekly (PA) Copyright: 2000 Philadelphia Weekly Section: Editor's Page by Tim Whitaker Contact: 1701 Walnut St., Philadelphia, PA 19103 Fax: (215) 563-0620 Website: http://www.brainsoap.com/index_weekly.shtml Author: Tim Whitaker WEED MY LIPS: THERE WILL BE NO DISCUSSION OF DRUG POLICY! COULDN'T DO THAT. WOULDN'T BE PRUDENT. [ P.S. Why won't Al Gore and that other presidential candidate just doob the right thing? ] In a book published this past spring, an Al Gore biographer proffered the possibility that our Democratic presidential nominee and his wife Tipper may have smoked dope together semi-regularly for the better part of the Peace Decade. This, of course, is hardly earth-shattering news. How many people who came of age back then didn't indulge on a semi-regular basis? Wait. Thinking about it now, maybe George W didn't. Though he's been explicit in countless interviews that he doesn't care to discuss his past drug use, it has been widely suggested he may have preferred a toot over a toke during his own particular halcyon years--chased, perhaps, by a half-dozen warm 40s. One can only imagine what a charmer the Republican nominee must have been in that condition. Me, I'll take the toker every time. It's become easy, thanks to the Gore family film shorts showcased at the Democratic Convention, to visualize a younger Al and Tipper rolling up a couple of hefty doobs, throwing a Blind Faith tape into the eight-track and taking to the Tennessee hills in the old man's station wagon. You can picture it, can't you? The two of them getting real silly, making out, riffing about their future, making out some more, talking about public service, giggling as they passed the joint and finishing their fun excursion by making out one last time. Anyone who saw Tipper shake her groove thing at the Democratic National Convention can tell this is a woman who has not lost touch with her earthy, carefree years. This, alas, does not appear to be the case with husband Albert. In fact, would it be the worst thing, if--under Tipper's supervision, of course--the vice president paid a short visit to his intemperate past? He and the Tipster could escape to a Smoky Mountain resort, slap some vintage Hendrix or Canned Heat into the CD player, stuff a modicum of weed into a pipe and, well, let the earth move under their feet. Look, you have to agree, the man could only benefit from a little unreality check. Okay, so perhaps some Americans might feel uneasy at the notion of a White House contender bending over a hash pipe. One need only think of the reaction in the Bible Belt, or from voters in, say, Ocean County, N.J., to a spaced-out Al Gore. But I suspect the majority of lucid Americans would be drawn to a presidential candidate who showed the chutzpah to launch a bare-knuckled dialogue about drug use in America. It would be the first step in talking truth about our most crushing affliction--an epidemic that's been shrouded in deception and misinformation since the day Nancy Reagan first sputtered the words "Just Say No." That one utterly simple-minded slogan set the country's drug policies back decades. It showed a nation more willing to condescend than deal in complexities. With the advent of the "Just Say No" culture, the playing field was fraudulently leveled to make all drug use--pot, acid, coke, crack, heroin, Ecstasy, speed, downers--appear equally risky and unhealthy. Did anyone bother to test-market the campaign's figurehead? Any randomly chosen ninth-grader in America could have cheerfully explained that the mere visage of Nancy Reagan--let alone the notion of her preaching about the evils of drug use--would be enough to drive any sane person to find a way to get good and numb. Where is the leader willing to kick start some real candor about drug use in America? One willing to admit, for example, that smoking a joint has become a near rite of passage in America; that most people will survive it just fine; that some people will like it more than others; that while it cuts the edge for most, it induces just enough paranoia to make it unpleasant for others; that for the vast majority of occasional tokers it won't lead to harder drugs; that most people grow out of it over time, but some very small percentage will turn into full-time dopers and become dumb as doorknobs; that there are various grades of marijuana--Colombian and Hawaiian being among the most potent--so if you're going to do it, best to get a handle on what it is you're smoking first. If we can find a leader who will admit that much, maybe then we can find another who will acknowledge the injustice in how we administer punishment for marijuana use; who will concede that by practicing just a little discretion, one can smoke a joint in broad daylight in any big city in America--say, on Sansom Street, for example--and not worry about retribution. Conversely, in, say, Athens, Ga., or maybe even Rosemont, Pa., that same impropriety could screw up your life royally; that cops tend to bust marijuana use depending on workload and the prevailing local ethos; that if you're going to use, it would serve you well to know the rules to play by. And if we could manage to get that far, we could begin to address some really serious business: Like why users of crack are punished more harshly than users of cocaine. Got a guess? By now you're likely thinking, What's this guy been smoking? Does he really believe there are politicians out there willing to speak truth about drugs? Actually, no. So best to end this missive with an issue that does stand a chance of being dealt with by political leaders. Medicinal marijuana. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the former sky-hooking basketball star and author of several well-regarded books, was recently arrested for marijuana use in California. It was his second bust. Abdul-Jabbar suffers from migrane headaches. He's had them his whole life. His affliction has been well-documented. He smokes pot to relieve the headaches. He shouldn't have to hide it. He shouldn't be busted for it. Abdul-Jabbar is a principled man who should be permitted his dignity. For decades, cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy treatment have reported finding relief from nausea with the aid of marijuana. But only in a handful of states is it legal for doctors to dispense marijuana for cancer patients. When pressed, politicians will say this is because they're waiting for more studies to be completed. What they're not saying is that they're afraid of being perceived as soft on drugs. This should be a no-brainer. Yo Al, can we count on you to give us a jump start here? - --- MAP posted-by: Richard Lake