Pubdate: Thu, 13 Jul 2000 Source: Independent, The (UK) Copyright: 2000 Independent Newspapers (UK) Ltd. Contact: 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL Website: http://www.independent.co.uk/ Author: Mark Steel THE CONVICTION OF THE CAMBRIDGE TWO IS BONKERS 'Anyone Whose House Is Burgled Should Be Put In Jail - For Failure To Prevent Burglary' Of all the bonkers convictions of recent years, few can match the case of the Cambridge charity workers, Ruth Wyner and John Brock, who have finally been released on bail. Their crime was that, at the homeless unit run by them, some of the homeless were secretly taking drugs. There was no suggestion that Ruth or John aided this, but they were banged up anyway for "failure to prevent heroin". As this means that you can be jailed for being in charge of a building in which a crime takes place, anyone whose house is burgled should be put in jail - for "failure to prevent burglary". And Jack Straw should have marched himself as well as his boy to the police. Someone could skin up in the toilet at the House of Commons and get Betty Boothroyd arrested. Two puffs in the Vatican and the Pope's up before the beak. This would make more sense than the convictions in Cambridge, as the homeless are the most likely group in society to take drugs, with some reports suggesting that 70 per cent are addicted. So how were the care workers supposed to prevent it happening? Maybe the judge thought it was as easy as a minicab driver stopping passengers from smoking. They just needed a couple of signs saying "thank you for not jacking up". Or perhaps they should have tried to attract a better class of homeless, by only allowing those to stay who had a verifiable home address. This is what they do at the Dorchester and there's never any trouble there. Most ridiculous of all, in order to obtain the conviction, the police went into the home undercover and took 300 hours of secret film in order to ascertain that drug-addicted homeless people were taking drugs. Maybe their next job was to take 300 hours of film in a hospital to expose the fact that some of the patients are ill. At least the undercover police seem to have made themselves less conspicuous than the ones who used to visit the road of squats I once lived in. Once a week a pair would stroll down the road in short hair, immaculately creased trousers, shiny black shoes and kaftans, lolloping up to passers-by and asking "got any weed, er, man"? But is this the best use of police resources the Cambridge constabulary can manage? They should make some of the money back by dubbing the whole 300 hours into Polish and showing it as an innovative piece of genius at the National Film Theatre. The outcome was that Ruth and John were jailed for five and four years respectively, and probably felt that they were characters in Kafka's The Trial. They must have been expecting to be approached by an official warning them not to say anything if they came across two men in a cupboard whipping each other with belts. And advising them that the appeal judge was certain to look very favourably upon them if they followed him into a dungeon and performed a dance to a room full of dwarves. So for the last seven months they've been criminals. No one outside the police and judiciary thought so. No one drives past Cambridge pubs muttering "that's where Ruth 'The Hat' Wyner planned her blag with John 'I prevent nothing' Brock." It wouldn't be much of a crime film if someone made Natural Born Homeless Unit Carers. So for the last seven months, most unpredictably, Cambridge has had a "two". Thousands of tenacious but furious people from the area have lobbied, petitioned and marched for their release. At the demonstration I attended, it was obvious most people were new to this sort of thing, with placards made from a cardboard box and written in felt pen. And one of the most moving speeches I've ever seen at Trafalgar Square was when Ruth's husband marched to the microphone and yelled, "look, we've got to do something, this is crazy", and then wandered off looking utterly bemused. Now they're out on bail until the appeal is heard later this year, and without the campaigning that would never have happened. Mr Straw, on the other hand, could have released them from day one, but he didn't. Why, I wonder, did he go into politics? He must have had some inkling of getting to a position of such influence that he could do public good. Now he's Home Secretary, and while public good is achieved by people who would never have imagined they would be marching and yelling into megaphones, he has ended up as one of those that decent people march against. So congratulations to Ruth, John and their supporters. And next time they get jailed, I hope they get better value. For a few more months inside they could have arranged illegal arms deals to Saudi Arabia, and orchestrated a family lie-in to cover it up. Or murdered an elected president, used the homeless unit as a torture chamber, and on release been flown half way round the world with a present of a magical wheelchair. - --- MAP posted-by: greg