Pubdate: Mon, 02 Jul 2001 Source: Appeal-Democrat (CA) Copyright: 2001 Appeal-Democrat Contact: http://www.appeal-democrat.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1343 Author: Brenda Gazzar FORMER ADDICTS FIND NEW LIVES AFTER DRUGS Believe Rehabilitation Works Better Than Incarceration Less than a year ago, 33-year-old Cynthia Kelley was living in a tent in Olivehurst with her two children, using methamphetamine or anything else she could get her hands on. Jack Snider, 39, also of Olivehurst, lived most of his life believing he had to be high on drugs to do anything. As a drug user for 22 years, Snider had been in and out of jail "about 30 times" for possession, failure to appear in court, fleeing from the police and burglary. Today, Kelley has been drug-free almost eight months and is a full-time student at Yuba College, well on her way to becoming a drug and alcohol counselor. Snider, drug-free and sober for about three years, works at the same rehabilitation facility where he was once treated. As drug addicts for most of their adult lives, Kelley and Snider know firsthand how difficult getting and staying off drugs can be. "I always did drugs to numb my feelings," Kelley said. "If I got sad, to deal with my dad's death, or whatever it might be, I got high," she said. Both Kelley and Snider believe rehabilitation works better than incarceration. "If they give (addicts) some chance to turn their life around, that would be cool," said Snider. "A lot of times they don't know how to do it themselves." Kelley said Proposition 36 will work best if addicts are provided with long-term care and a range of support services. Kelley said she twice tried a local 30-day program, but after a few days into it came to the conclusion that it wasn't for her. Not being able to leave the premises was also a difficult aspect of the program for Kelley. She also said she didn't think a 30-day program would have been sufficient for a full recovery. "When you've been on drugs that long, you need more than 30 days (to recover)," she said. "I know a lot of people in the drug world. We have evictions, credit problems, no place to live. It takes a lot longer than 30 days to work on yourself and get on your feet again." Kelley continued using for another 11/2 years. She eventually heard about the Salvation Army Depot Family Crisis Center in Marysville, a program shelter that offers codependency counseling and services. Because of a waiting list of several weeks, she called the center every day in hopes of a vacancy. She had been sober a week when she moved in. She has lived there with her two children, Roy, 12, and Heather, 14, for nearly eight months. Kelley did two months of intensive programming when she first arrived. She received 120 hours of food service training and was able to attend college part-time. After becoming a full-time student at Yuba College, taking classes on codependency and counseling, she still participated in the around-the-clock classes and support groups the depot provides. She recently began working at the depot's office on the weekends. "We have stability," she said. "We have wake-up calls in the morning, chores and classes. The staff is really caring and it builds up your self-esteem." Kelley said an important part of the program for her has been the emphasis on life skills. With the help of the depot's staff, she was able to save enough money to get an apartment for her and her children that she hopes to move into soon. "I always knew I could do something for my life," she said. Finding what works Snider said he turned to drugs to fill a persistent emotional void. Born to an alcoholic father and a mother who left him at the age of 6, Snider was raised by his grandparents. "When I started using, I didn't feel all that pain of abandonment and not being worthy," he said. After he started using and stealing to support his alcohol and drug habit, he was thrown out of the house when he was 15. By age 16, he was living on and off the streets. "When I was a kid, I never pictured myself pushing a shopping cart down the road and eating out of Dumpsters, but basically that's what I did," Snider said. While in jail on numerous charges, he was encouraged by Yuba County Health Officer Dr. Joe Cassady to enter a 30-day intensive rehabilitation program called Pathways upon his release. The program worked. "When I first got clean, I was looking at five years in prison," he said. "That's still an option if I go back and use. (Pathways) pretty much saved my life." The program gave him the tools to deal with life on his terms and to deal with his emotions, Snider said. "When I went into Pathways, my counselor said, 'There's only one thing you've got to change, and that's everything.'" And that's what Snider did. He learned to change the people he had associated with and the places he frequented. It wasn't easy, he said, and he had to relearn some basic life skills. "Recovery gave me a life beyond my wildest dreams. I got my license back after not having one for 15 years, I got insurance on my car. There's a lot of things I had to work for that I got that I've never had, and that's a big incentive to keep doing what I'm doing because I've never had those things." Snider said he believes many people, if given a chance and the right support, would turn their lives around. "I wanted to get clean years ago, and I didn't know how," said Snider. "With a little bit of help from a program, you can get the tools you need to survive out here on your own." He said motivation is key to what an addict can and will take from a rehabilitation program. "It really depends on your determination," he said. "I put as much effort in my recovery as I did with my addiction. I really stayed plugged in with (support group) meetings for the first year-and-a-half to two years, and by the grace of God, I haven't had a relapse," he said. Snider remembered something a program participant once said that rang true for him: "Church is for people who don't want to go to hell," he said, "but the program is for people who have been to hell and don't want to go back." - --- MAP posted-by: Larry Stevens