Pubdate: Tue, 07 Aug 2001 Source: The Herald-Sun (NC) Copyright: 2001 The Herald-Sun Contact: http://www.herald-sun.com Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1428 Author: Brenda James ADDICTION AFFECTS EVERYONE DURHAM -- Addiction is a word used everyday for one reason or another. It stops by out of curiosity, stays around and gives a few thrills; meanwhile, it takes up residency along with control of a person' s life. The word or condition of addiction is used to describe a multitude of actions, feelings, personality changes, ways of speaking and illnesses. I feel very comfortable saying this is one of the most devastating conditions in this day. There are many disadvantages to living with someone with an addiction, especially a substance addiction. The problems stemming from this situation run the gamut from stealing from the household, causing a major breakdown in the family and the loss of trust that is essential to any relationship of value. Its amazing how creative an addict can get as the disease progresses. The drug of choice -- be it alcohol, crack, heroin -- becomes the center of his or her world. It is more important than the rent, food, the baby's milk or Pampers and in many instances these things are used or sold to get the drug. This problem does not belong to the person with the addiction alone. Everyone connected to that person is affected: children who have lost their parents in a mentally and emotional way, grandparents starting over trying to raise a generation of children that they don't even understand, communities devastated by drug use and violence, break-ins and everything that comes with that lifestyle. Being in the throes of addiction is like being wrapped in an extra layer of skin that shrinks a little every time it gets wet. There are dry spells where the addict seems in control or has taken a hiatus; usually the people around that person begin to relax and tell themselves that maybe this is not a problem after all. The family let its guard down because they begin to see with their hearts. Living with addiction within a family changes the whole fabric of the family. Things that were taken for granted before are gone and most the time people are unaware when they left. Things like trust, peace, honesty and so many more of the everyday things we were taught as children. The moral fibers that make up the foundation of who we are and all the ingredients that our parents and community worked so hard to instill in us are gone. The only one to get any pleasure/satisfaction from this disease is the addict. The people connected to the person reaps the worry, expenses of replacing stolen items and money and the breakdown of the family and household. And do not forget the likelihood of being put into dangerous situations through no fault of your own. People seem to think of addicts as a certain kind of people, people living in public housing, unemployed or waiting on some check monthly; but I have come to tell you addicts are often the ones who sit at the dinner table with you, next to you in church or across the board room table. These thoughts are very uncomfortable to some people, but this is the reality of addiction. The first time I heard the term "drug of your choice," I didn't associate it with alcohol in any way. I just knew people were talking about those drugs that one smoked out of a pipe, used a needle to shoot up or put in their noses. I personally found out that alcohol is just as deadly and destructive as any of those other drugs, only most of it is legal; which makes it worse in some ways. There is a liquor store almost in walking distance of every black inner city neighborhood. Alcoholism is almost as prominent in the black culture as diabetes or high blood pressure. I wish I could say that after a certain length of time the addiction wears off and people go back to being caring and honest and good people. Unfortunately, some people never get better and the addiction's chain reaction spreads from one generation to the next until someone has the courage to break the cycle. I hope there are some courageous cycle-breakers out there who love themselves enough to go through whatever it takes to take their lives back. - --- MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom