Pubdate: Tue, 07 Aug 2001
Source: The Herald-Sun (NC)
Copyright: 2001 The Herald-Sun
Contact:  http://www.herald-sun.com
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1428
Author: Brenda James

ADDICTION AFFECTS EVERYONE

DURHAM -- Addiction is a word used everyday for one reason or another. It 
stops by out of curiosity, stays around and gives a few thrills; meanwhile, 
it takes up residency along with control of a person' s life. The word or 
condition of addiction is used to describe a multitude of actions, 
feelings, personality changes, ways of speaking and illnesses. I feel very 
comfortable saying this is one of the most devastating conditions in this day.

There are many disadvantages to living with someone with an addiction, 
especially a substance addiction. The problems stemming from this situation 
run the gamut from stealing from the household, causing a major breakdown 
in the family and the loss of trust that is essential to any relationship 
of value.

Its amazing how creative an addict can get as the disease progresses.

The drug of choice -- be it alcohol, crack, heroin -- becomes the center of 
his or her world. It is more important than the rent, food, the baby's milk 
or Pampers and in many instances these things are used or sold to get the drug.

This problem does not belong to the person with the addiction alone.

Everyone connected to that person is affected: children who have lost their 
parents in a mentally and emotional way, grandparents starting over trying 
to raise a generation of children that they don't even understand, 
communities devastated by drug use and violence, break-ins and everything 
that comes with that lifestyle.

Being in the throes of addiction is like being wrapped in an extra layer of 
skin that shrinks a little every time it gets wet. There are dry spells 
where the addict seems in control or has taken a hiatus; usually the people 
around that person begin to relax and tell themselves that maybe this is 
not a problem after all. The family let its guard down because they begin 
to see with their hearts.

Living with addiction within a family changes the whole fabric of the 
family. Things that were taken for granted before are gone and most the 
time people are unaware when they left.

Things like trust, peace, honesty and so many more of the everyday things 
we were taught as children. The moral fibers that make up the foundation of 
who we are and all the ingredients that our parents and community worked so 
hard to instill in us are gone.

The only one to get any pleasure/satisfaction from this disease is the 
addict. The people connected to the person reaps the worry, expenses of 
replacing stolen items and money and the breakdown of the family and 
household. And do not forget the likelihood of being put into dangerous 
situations through no fault of your own.

People seem to think of addicts as a certain kind of people, people living 
in public housing, unemployed or waiting on some check monthly; but I have 
come to tell you addicts are often the ones who sit at the dinner table 
with you, next to you in church or across the board room table.

These thoughts are very uncomfortable to some people, but this is the 
reality of addiction.

The first time I heard the term "drug of your choice," I didn't associate 
it with alcohol in any way. I just knew people were talking about those 
drugs that one smoked out of a pipe, used a needle to shoot up or put in 
their noses.

I personally found out that alcohol is just as deadly and destructive as 
any of those other drugs, only most of it is legal; which makes it worse in 
some ways. There is a liquor store almost in walking distance of every 
black inner city neighborhood. Alcoholism is almost as prominent in the 
black culture as diabetes or high blood pressure.

I wish I could say that after a certain length of time the addiction wears 
off and people go back to being caring and honest and good people. 
Unfortunately, some people never get better and the addiction's chain 
reaction spreads from one generation to the next until someone has the 
courage to break the cycle.

I hope there are some courageous cycle-breakers out there who love 
themselves enough to go through whatever it takes to take their lives back.
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MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom