Pubdate: Tue, 11 Dec 2001
Source: The Herald-Sun (NC)
Copyright: 2001 The Herald-Sun
Contact:  http://www.herald-sun.com
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1428
Author: Brenda James

BREAKING CYCLE OF DRUGS HELPS ADDICT, FAMILY

DURHAM -- Our community is a melting pot of cultures, lifestyles, races, 
beliefs and other differences and similarities.

There are hardworking men and women trying to keep their bills paid and 
afford some of the things their families need and want.

We also have our share of people addicted to one drug or another, and 
dealers around every corner of some of our buildings supplying the poison 
that brings families down. Prostitution and violence run rampant and our 
children are seeing and learning these things as a way of life.

Many of these people are satisfied at this time with their way of life; but 
there are so many caught like fish in a net, trapped and not knowing how to 
get free.

There are a thousand reasons why a person may try drugs: to fit in with 
others, to see what it's like and so on. Once a person becomes addicted, 
the drug is in control, not the user. It affects not only the user, but 
everyone connected to them.

The person's whole personality changes. I believe it takes away their basic 
morals and values and replaces them with lies, disrespect, manipulation and 
other qualities needed to live the life of an addict.

I know all too well about this, because several members of my family live 
this lifestyle today. At first, I tried to change them and I was 
disappointed and hurt at every turn. I learned some tough lessons the hard way.

One lesson learned was that addicts don't change because we want them to. 
They change only when they want to with all their hearts and souls and are 
willing to work diligently to get their lives back. I also don't believe 
one can get sober and stay that way without a belief and relationship with 
the One with powers higher than our own.

Tough love is very important if one is going to continue a close 
relationship with an addict. It is very easy to become co-dependent and the 
longer the addict maintains their habit, the better they get at lying, 
manipulating and figuring out our weak points.

Lifestyle for some is another barrier. Many of us could not get a soda on 
credit because we did not learn in our earlier years how crucial our credit 
history would be when we finally got our lives back on track.

We bought things on time, missed payments, co-signed for others and even 
small things like ordering magazines with no money to pay for them. It's a 
virtual nightmare for some of us, we feel like there is no way out.

I would like to find an organization willing to educate us in the ways to 
turn these catastrophes around. One that would help those of us who prove 
to be consciously trying to live our lives as solid contributing citizens 
in spite of earlier mistakes.

We would like to own our own homes, instead of paying rent year after year. 
We would like to strive for something better for ourselves, as well as our 
families, especially our children.

We would like to break the cycle of alcohol, drugs, violence and abuse. We 
want to leave a completely different legacy for our children; therefore, 
giving them something more to strive for like being educated, law-abiding 
citizens who love and give back to their community. Hopefully, this is the 
legacy they will pass on to their children and it will be the beginning of 
a new more positive cycle.

I don't have solutions for all the problems in our society or in our 
particular community, but this is a start. Everything has to start 
somewhere and this takes just a little compassion, a lot of love and basic 
equality to succeed. I hope there are answers for us and if someone happen 
to have ideas that would help bring some of these things to reality please 
contact me.

Questions? Concerns? You can reach Brenda James at (919) 596-3300 or via 
e-mail at URL for this article: http://www.herald-sun.com/features/54-172007.html
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MAP posted-by: Jackl