Pubdate: Thu, 17 May 2001
Source: Indiana Daily Student (IN Edu)
Copyright: 2001 Indiana Daily Student
Contact:  http://www.idsnews.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1319
Author: James Boyd

POTHEAD'S HIGH A LOST UTOPIA

(U-WIRE) BLOOMINGTON, Ind. -- For those of you who are high, I've got some 
bad news. Like the Supreme Court totally ruled against your drug, man. 
That's right, no more medical marijuana, according to the "highest" court 
in the land. And for some reason, I don't feel bad.

I'm a little confused by the controversy. People are upset because they 
can't light up, but yet we're in the presence of marijuana's third cousins 
- -- morphine and codeine. It doesn't make sense. After all, if you've got 
cancer, surely there are worse things than not being able to make out with 
your favorite bong.

What's funnier was the amount of people trying to contract Legionnaire's 
Disease in the hours before the Supreme Court's ruling came out.

"Hey Doc, could you like write me a prescription for some pot, man? I'm 
feeling really bad!"

Of course you are. People with glaucoma were crying hysterically at the 
news. I guess they'll just have to revert back to Visine. Now I know I'll 
be called "insensitive" and "mean," but the argument for medicinal 
marijuana is just stupid.

Of course marijuana works; no one is going to argue with that. After all, 
when you're stumbling drunk and high as a kite, how much pain can you 
really feel?

I've broken entire appendages while under the influence of alcohol and 
didn't feel a thing.

"Hey James, let me hit you with this aluminum bat, man -- you won't feel a 
thing!"

People in this country are just looking for excuses to do something 
illegal. And let us not forget the old ladies with real prescriptions for 
pot who turn around and sell them to the nearest dealer faster than you can 
say "dime sack."

I feel for those in pain. I've endured many, many pains, and I know how 
much it hurts. But as Michael Stipe of REM so eloquently put it, we all do, 
so get over it.

I'm no doctor, but I don't understand what marijuana can do that 
prescription painkillers cannot.

I know people who smoke pot on a regular basis, and believe me, if there's 
anything the world does NOT need, it is more people who crave 24 burritos 
from Taco Bell at 4 a.m.

Now I'm not saying that all marijuana users are the same. I'm sure there 
are those who actually benefit from the legal use of the drug, but if 
marijuana is proven to have medicinal qualities, will cocaine and heroin be 
far behind?

In essence, drugs are all the same. Some have far more drastic effects on 
an individual than others, but when it comes down to it, they all alter 
your state of mind in one form or another.

The Supreme Court is simply avoiding the possibility of discrepancies in 
their rulings. By allowing one drug that has been widely defined as 
illegal, they would simply be opening the floodgates to later claims that 
other drugs like cocaine serve the same medical purpose as marijuana.

This ruling will not stop those who use marijuana for medicinal purposes. 
In fact, it won't stop people who use it recreationally. It at least weeds 
out those companies who were allowed to legally spread a drug that is 
considered by most state governments to be illegal.

Like I said, I'm no doctor. But I have been drunk before, and I have taken 
codeine tablets before, and in all honesty, I didn't really notice a 
difference between the two. There are alternatives to those who truly need 
assistance in dealing with their medical conditions, so why should they 
depend on an illegal drug to help them manage their pain?

If you convince me, well, you're probably high.

(C) 2001 Indiana Daily Student via U-WIRE
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MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom