Newshawk: Beth
Pubdate: Sun, 24 Feb 2002
Source: Intelligencer Journal (PA)
Copyright: 2002 Lancaster Newspapers, Inc.
Contact:  http://www.lancnews.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/211
Author: Gil Smart
Note: Smart is assistant news editor of the Sunday News

ABSTINENCE A WISE CHOICE, BUT NOT ALL WILL CHOOSE IT

Let's talk about sex.

Not like that, you pervert.

Sex is much in the news these days, what with Colin Powell ticking off 
cultural conservatives by advocating condoms as a way of preventing 
sexually transmitted disease. And locally, there was a rally for abstinence 
where teens were urged not just to avoid sex, but to be "pure" --like Ivory 
Soap.

Which, incidentally, was once pitched by future porn queen Marilyn 
Chambers. Some day, I'll have to talk to my kid about sex. I'm sure I'll 
stutter and stammer, and he'll look at me, roll his eyes and think: As if 
this guy's ever had sex in his life.

But I'm determined to tell him a few things --that there's only one sure 
way to avoid getting someone pregnant, and only one sure way to avoid 
catching something, and that way is abstinence.

On that one, the conservatives have it exactly right.

But I'd never mislead him. And in reviewing some conservative arguments 
against premarital sex, I can't help but notice what I consider to be a lot 
of misleading statements --if not outright lies.

For example, prior to the local abstinence rally, a local pastor involved 
in the rally said, "No one's ever glad that they had sex before marriage."

Huh?

Listen, some of the guys in my college fraternity had sex before breakfast, 
let alone marriage. Many of them are now married with kids of their own, 
and they'd never recommend such behavior. But at the time, they quite 
enjoyed themselves.

So to make that blanket statement --that no one, ever, has enjoyed such 
shenanigans --is simply incorrect.

Then why do we say it? Maybe because we want kids to believe it --for if 
they believe it, they'll avoid premarital sex. And everyone is better off.

In other words, the end justifies the means.

Personally, I think honesty is a better policy.

Which is why I thought Powell's comments on MTV --that "In my own judgment, 
condoms are a way to prevent infection, and, therefore, I support their 
use" --were appropriate.

But cultural conservatives say Powell is in effect encouraging kids to have 
sex. And they point out that condoms aren't foolproof --you can get 
diseases, you can even get pregnant, when you use a condom.

That's true, but it misses a larger point. Which is that ultimately, people 
are going to have sex. And when that happens, they --all of us --are better 
off it they take some measure to protect themselves.

Powell's critics want the government to talk only of abstinence. They want 
the government to deny that there are other choices --or to exaggerate the 
consequences of those choices.

Well, they can do what they want with their own kids. They can tell them 
premarital sex results in spontaneous human combustion, for all I care.

But when it comes to my kid, I'm going to be a little more realistic. I'll 
push abstinence. But we'll also talk about what happens if abstinence 
doesn't work out. I'll hope he makes the right choice.

But if he doesn't, I'd rather he be safe than sorry.