Pubdate: Fri, 12 Jul 2002
Source: Waco Tribune-Herald (TX)
Copyright: 2002 Waco-Tribune Herald
Contact:  http://accesswaco.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/485
Author: Rowland Nethaway, Senior Editor

AMERICA'S DOPE PARADOX

The day after the U.S. Senate approved using Nevada's Yucca Mountain as a 
stash for the nation's nuclear waste, the Associated Press reported that 
voters in Nevada will decide whether to legalize small stashes of marijuana.

There's nothing like a few ounces of giggle weed to take your mind off 
77,000 tons of nearby nuclear waste.

Who cares if you glow in the dark as long as you have weed and Cheez Doodles?

The proposal, which will be voted on in November, allows adults to have up 
to three ounces of marijuana as long as they don't smoke it in public 
places, assuming pot heads will recognize public places.

Nevada's blackjack dealers and snack food salesmen should support the law, 
which must get around a federal law that bans marijuana possession and a 
U.S. Supreme Court ruling that says states cannot make exceptions for 
medical use.

A Reuters news story reports that Britain is expected to relax marijuana 
laws and allow millions of marijuana users to smoke without fear of arrest.

This decision should go a long way toward relieving concerns over Britain's 
bad weather and lousy food. I do not mean to insult people who like 
Britain's weather and food, since I conclude they already are stoned.

Pot In Same Class With Steroids

By making marijuana a Class C rather than a Class B drug, pot will be put 
in the same category as anabolic steroids and growth hormones, 
non-arrestable offenses.

Speaking of baseball, home run records are falling like leaves from a dying 
tree amid accusations that up to 70 percent of major league players are 
juiced up on steroids, which improve performance and often cause abusers to 
fly into 'roid rages.

The 70 percent figure, which came from a retired player who admitted to 
pumping up on steroids, is suspect since some active players think the 
figure is no more than 50 percent.

The thing is, no one knows what percentage of coddled multi- millionaire 
players take steroids since there is no drug testing of big league players, 
who often sound like ACLU lawyers when talking about their rights of 
privacy, illegal searches and presumption of innocence.

Some of these role-model players support drug testing as long as it is 
voluntary. That's nearly as big a joke as the recent All Star game that 
stopped with a 7-7 tie thanks to Commissioner Bud Selig, who evidently was 
hired to ruin baseball.

A sports reporter recently asked Chicago Cubs slugger Sammy Sosa if he took 
steroids, which he denied. Sosa said that if there were drug testing, he 
would be first in line.

Anticipating this canned response, the reporter gave Sosa the address of a 
nearby drug testing operation and asked him to do it now. Sosa flew into a 
rage. Hmmm - 'roid rage or not, no one knows.

Former tennis great John McEnroe recently was ratted out by his former wife 
who said McEnroe took steroids for years, which might explain his 
outrageous outbursts. Maybe, maybe not. No one knows.

The U.S. Supreme Court believes that the drug problem is so severe in the 
nation's schools that it is OK to drug test the chess team and the choir.

A few years earlier the justices said it was OK to drug test the jocks who 
are role models. Now it's OK to drug test every youngster who bothers to 
get up off his or her rump and participate in rewarding, character-building 
activities.

It would make more sense to drug test all the zoned-out kids who never 
bother to play sports, become involved in extracurricular activities or 
hold down after-school jobs.

Trying to follow the logic people use to combat drug abuse is enough to 
make you want to take two Valium tablets along with your evening cocktails.
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MAP posted-by: Beth