Pubdate: Sun, 21 Jul 2002 Source: Salt Lake Tribune (UT) Copyright: 2002 The Salt Lake Tribune Contact: http://www.sltrib.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/383 Author: Holly Mullen METH ADDICTION IS THE DEADLY SPEED TRAP FOR UTAH WOMEN -- BUT THERE IS HOPE She shot heroin and methamphetamine into her arms for five days straight. She did not eat. She did not sleep. Her mother and aunt intervened just in time, or who knows? Justien might have kept right on binging, landing in a grave at age18. Liz showed up at her parents' upscale Salt Lake City home a month ago after smoking and snorting meth for days. "I was so on edge if I had gotten a paper cut that day, I would have killed myself," she says. She kicked in the antique front door of the house and started screaming at her mother and 24-year-old sister. Minutes later, Liz, 27, had thrown her mother across the kitchen, dislocating her hip. "The cops were on their way to arrest me, and I was never in jail before," she says. She did not go to jail. Instead, Liz checked in at the Volunteers of America Women's and Children's Center in Murray. She got a bed, a safe place with locks on the door and an opportunity, after years of trading sex for drugs, to do nothing more than sleep for two full days. This was the start of her detox, a process of pure cold turkey. Twenty-seven days into sobriety, she can still feel seven years' worth of methamphetamine leeching out of her system. "It's a demon," Liz says. "Honestly, today I woke up for the first time without feeling completely numb and empty." Liz and Justien are roommates at the VOA, drawn together by their raging drug habits and homelessness. And like nearly 70 percent of female methamphetamine addicts in Utah, they are mothers of young children. Justien's daughter is 15 months old and lives with her ex- husband. Liz has a 3-year-old daughter who lives with her middle-aged parents. Every woman at the VOA has a tale of hitting bottom, a cold, clear moment when she realizes that walking through life like a corpse is no longer an option. Her eyes may open to her children for the first time. The Murray center is one of a handful of drug treatment facilities in Utah that allow women and their children together. It can be a powerful motivator, says Kathy Bray, director of detox services for the Murray center. "A lot of women will use their children as an excuse for not getting treatment," she says. The average stay at VOA detox is 21 days. Then the women "graduate" to an outpatient rehab facility. Though Liz and Justien showed up without their daughters, most women in detox have one or two children in tow. The youngest client in the center's four-year history was a 5-day-old baby, who struggled through meth withdrawal, just like his mother. Other women have been admitted in their last trimester of pregnancy, battling to stay sober through labor. The women come to the VOA addicted to alcohol, heroin and painkillers, but by far the drug of choice is, and has been for years, methamphetamine. An annual report released in June by the state Division of Substance Abuse reveals that of 6,580 women admitted for drug rehab in 2001, more than one-third were treated for meth addiction. The drug remains easy to find, easy to make and highly appealing to women. It is a no- fail avenue to weight loss and a quick escape from life's pain and pressures. "For a while," says Orem-born Justien, "it was a field of flowers." The chokehold this drug has on women shows no sign of letting up, and even with the hope of programs like the VOA, fewer than half of women in Utah's drug treatment programs will stay straight. Justien swears, after 49 days of sobriety, this is it. "I am done living in darkness." Same for Liz, who has tried to kick the habit before but failed. "This time I'm doing it for me. I can feel it all the way to my toenails and fingernails." - --- MAP posted-by: Beth