Pubdate: Mon, 28 Jan 2002
Source: Journal and Courier (IN)
Website: http://www.jconline.com/
Address: 217 N. 6th St., Lafayette, IN 47901
Feedback: http://www.lafayettejc.com/letters.shtml
Copyright: 2002 Federated Publications, Inc
Fax: (765) 420-5246
Author: Verdell Releford
Note: Releford is co-chair the Coalition for a Safe and Drug-Free 
Tippecanoe County.

KEEPING KIDS OFF DRUGS STARTS AT HOME

The home is one of the most powerful places to teach a child. I, along with 
my husband, James, have been raising children for 26 years. We have 10 
children (six are adopted). Foster parenting for 15 years, I believe our 
community has fantastic parents that care for their children well and are 
concerned about what goes on with them. I have come to realize that we as 
parents have a serious problem at hand -- keeping our children off of 
tobacco, alcohol and other drugs.

About 3 1/2 years ago a parent I know told me that he didn't have a problem 
with his children using marijuana. If one of his children wanted to try it, 
he would just go out and get it for them. Being that I was a foster parent, 
he told me, I had to make sure my children stayed away from drugs.

The problem for me was: My children go to that house frequently.

That was my wake-up call to the fight I was up against. As hurtful as that 
was, I had to realize I have to protect my children as much as I could -- 
even if it cost me some relationships.

I have wondered why when our children are young, we teach them not to touch 
the stove, place protectors in electrical sockets, tell them not to cross 
the street before looking both ways, and demand that they not talk to or 
get in a car of a stranger. The list of things we do to protect our 
children from harm is endless. Why not a similar message about drugs and 
alcohol?

Also, why is it that when our precious, little darlings misbehave at school 
- -- and the school is justified in correcting them -- we go to the school 
and verbally attack the teacher and school administration instead of 
helping the child and the school in correcting the bad behavior? This is 
sending a terrible message to the child. This is only one situation that 
will start negative behavior.

We have to teach our children right from wrong by setting a good example 
ourselves. Establish open communication. Make a point to spend time with 
your child. Activities to share include walks, bowling, roller-skating, 
bike rides, quiet dinners out or cookie-baking sessions.

Understand that your child is growing up. This doesn't mean a hands- off 
attitude. Guide your child's behavior. Know who their friends are. Set 
rules, and be consistent. We all want our youth to have fun, be healthy and 
have safe interaction with their peers.

Even if chances are that our youth may try tobacco, alcohol and other 
drugs, we still need to educate them of the health dangers and 
consequences. I have talked to parents and teens on this very subject. A 
lot of teens are not using tobacco, alcohol and other drugs. To those 
teens, I thank you, for you are setting a good example for other teens. 
Other responses from parents and teens were more disheartening, such as:

* Everyone is doing it.

* My children don't smoke cigarettes or marijuana all the time.

* I supply my children with cigarettes and alcohol to keep them from 
getting it in the streets.

* I get high with my parents; they don't have a problem with it.

It's insane how illegal behavior is being justified even at the hands of 
parents. Young people mimic the behavior of people they care about. If we 
don't teach our children to obey the laws of our country, how do we expect 
them to respect us and everyone around them?

In most cases the use of alcohol and other drugs are the reason for 
problems in our schools. We will never stop the use of tobacco, alcohol and 
other drugs among our youth, but we can slow it down. The time is now for 
parents and the community to stand up with a strong voice and teach our 
youth why using alcohol, tobacco and other drugs is a bad behavior practice 
that can affect their future. We, as parents, should work together, not 
against each other, to keep our children away from drugs.

I don't have the answer to what can turn this epidemic among our youth 
around. I do know we, as parents, have to start somewhere. And that place 
is one of the most powerful places to teach a child -- our home.
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MAP posted-by: Beth