Pubdate: Fri, 27 Sep 2002
Source: Plano Star Courier, The (TX)
Copyright: 2002 Plano Star Courier
Contact:  http://www.planostar.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1597
Author: Johanna M. Brewer

FIVE YEARS AFTER COMMUNITY CRISIS, STARFISH FOUNDATION KEEPS PROMISES

The two people who run Starfish Foundation, Inc, executive director Belita 
Nelson, and public relations director Mel Renfro, former Dallas Cowboy and 
Pro-Football Hall of Famer, share a major life experience. Both experienced 
the pain a family suffers from alcohol and drug addiction.

The Plano-based foundation, a non-profit organization whose motto is 
"Making a Difference, One at a Time," was founded in 1997 by a group of 
Plano teachers, parents, and students after a series of heroin-related deaths.

Nelson learned that her 21-year-old son was a drug addict. He has been in 
recovery three years.

"I was just a mad mom. We needed a neutral referral service. We could call 
different psychiatric hospitals and get a different answer from each of 
them. We are an organization of change. One of the necessary elements was 
having parents talk to parents.

"We have what we call our Continuum of Care. We need to educate people, 
particularly with three things: Addiction is a disease; it alters the 
chemistry of the brain; and addicts need about 18 months in treatment or 
isolation from alcohol or drugs to have the chance to clear their brains," 
Nelson said.

Kyle, a 30-year-old drug addict who has been in recovery for seven months, 
said he relapsed six times after attending 28-day programs.

"The problem was I never listened to anyone. I never stuck anything out. 
I've been to Hazelton in Minnesota and to Silver Hill in New Jersey. I went 
to each three times. The last place I went to was Sante Center for Healing 
in Argyle. It's designed for three months. I stayed six months.

"How did I succeed this time? To be honest, I decided to follow directions 
and actually listened to people at the rehab program. I'm listening now to 
my therapist and my sponsor. At a lot of places, it was a month and I 
didn't realize I was delusional. A month is never enough to get back to 
earth," Kyle said.

Cocaine, crack cocaine, marijuana, and Ecstasy were Kyle's drugs of choice. 
Now he works his 12-step program and lives in a half-way house led by Don 
Fielding, clinical director of Starfish. He will be entering a college 
program next week.

"I've wasted my life and almost destroyed my family life. There was a time 
when my parents would not talk to me. They would hang up on me. We're 
together today. I'm very grateful that they stuck by my side for as long as 
they did," said Kyle.

Renfro and Nelson, because they have lived with the problem, want to be 
part of the solution. One thing they hope to do is work with a consortium 
of medical institutions to track the success rate of various treatments of 
alcohol and drug addicted individuals. The study would last for 
one-and-a-half years.

Nelson said that Renfro's involvement has helped the foundation gain the 
credibility needed to carry its goals forward.

"I've been touched by a family member who went through heroin addiction and 
recovery. I was also seeing substance abuse in all sports, and seeing my 
former colleagues abusing drugs. It made me want to tell people that it is 
a serious problem and needs serious attention," Renfro said.

According to the Foundation's research, the United States represents five 
percent of the world's population and uses 75 percent of the world's 
cocaine. Nelson said it's a matter of economics - supply and demand.

In its mission statement, Starfish explains, "Our business plan revolves 
around two goals: the first is designed to deal with the epidemic we are 
currently enduring - intervention, treatment and recovery. Our second goal 
is education and public awareness; for only when we understand a problem, 
can we intelligently create solutions."

The foundation's goals are to educate and to create a model of treatment 
that will revolutionize substance abuse treatment. In order to do this, 
they plan to work with a number of medical researchers to study relapse 
rates, treatment efficiency and treatment outcomes.

They also want to educate addicts and their families to recognize addiction 
as a chronic disease; to use cutting edge pharmaceuticals in treating 
addiction when appropriate; and to create a cocoon of sobriety that will 
allow the addicted person the necessary time to clear their brain of all 
chemicals, Nelson said.

Kyle, who has been sober and free of drugs for seven months after using 
drugs and alcohol since he was 14, said he prays for his sobriety each night.

"When I turned 30, I realized that I had let down a lot of people. My boss 
was grooming me for a great job and I let her down. I let down my parents. 
One night, I was sitting in my apartment doing drugs and I realized I was 
miserable," said Kyle.

Now he chooses friends who are sober, stays away from the restaurant 
business with its night life and alcohol, and "some unsavory people I hung 
out with."

"To me spirituality is a big part of being sober. I always had a hangup 
about spirituality. I would think, 'Oh, those AA people.' Now, for me, 
recovery is all about going to a 12-step program.

"I'm staying sober every day. I pray each night that I say sober each day. 
What would I tell my parents? If I were alone in a room with them, I would 
cry and tell them how much I love them."

As National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Month comes to a close, Nelson and 
Renfro moved forward with plans for the Foundation's $10 million fundraiser.

Tickets will include an invitation to a private reception at the Texas 
Stadium with current and former members of the Dallas Cowboys on Nov. 21. 
Members of the Dallas Cowboy Ring of Honor will be present.
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MAP posted-by: Larry Stevens