Pubdate: Sun, 01 Dec 2002
Source: Sheaf, The (CN SN Edu)
Contact:  http://www.thesheaf.com/
Author: Jeremy Warren

CRABBY OLD MEN SAY: "PASS THE DUTCHIE!"

I think the Canadian Senate is on to something; they have stumbled
across what could be known as a new age, a peaceful age. Imagine a
world where people are always smiling, always laughing, and most of
all always anti-violence.

Can you see it? I can. With the recent recommendation to legalize
marijuana I think that vision is turning to a reality ever so fast. If
put in place world wide, the legalization of marijuana could be a
solution to a lot of our problems in the world. Violence would be no
more. Everyone would be too stoned to do anything.

Bush: "Boy you better watch out. We're coming to get you."

Saddam: "HAHAHAHAHAHA, you funny little Texan"

Bush: "What in tar nation you talking `bout boy? Did I just hear what I
thought I did?"

Saddam: "Chill man. You are soooo uptight. Why don't you jump on the
bandwagon and
have a hoot budd-ay? It will make you forget all that CEO scandal bullshit.

Literally, "BAHAHAHAHA"

Later on that month in a very hot boxed UN general Assembly:

Bush: "So then I says, "Connie Chung go fuck yourself!", BAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Chretien: " I told you guys we should have hit this shit before."

Well close to that anyways. But you get the picture. But it is close.
Trust me.

Think of the environment! Think of the environment! A plea often heard
on the news. If we legalized the sweet and sexy Mary Jane most people
would never drive. They would just hop on the bus because that's the
easiest way (i.e. laziest) to get around. Heating bills would be
drastically reduced because of all the heat coming of the incense
burning in our homes! (Incense would soon join snack food and shiny
objects as the new "dot-com hysteria" type industry found on the world
markets thanks to all the worldwide stoners) We would severely cut
down on pollution! We would use very little oil! The environment would
be saved! Now you might be saying "what about trees for all the
rolling paper what would surely be used?" Ah but if you have been down
to local hemp shop *cough* Vinyl Exchange *cough* you would notice
that hemp can also be used for rolling, eliminating the need for
paper! (Hemp is grown in a field, not unlike wheat, and needs hot
weather and little moisture to grow; perfect for the drought stricken
of Saskatchewan farmers to grow).

These senators know the deal. They aren't as old and senile as people
would be led to believe. They got the right idea and now they are just
doing their part in making the better a world place by leaning on the
government to legalize pot. And they have a lot of people leaning with
them. So Chretien, if you are reading this (I am sure you are, what
else do you have to do, run a country or something?), this just may be
the way to leave your legacy that you have been looking. Leave it with
a trail of smoke behind you. 
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