Pubdate: Wed, 18 Dec 2002
Source: Kelowna Capital News (CN BC)
Copyright: 2002, West Partners Publishing Ltd.
Contact:  http://www.kelownacapnews.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1294
Author: John McDonald
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/youth.htm (Youth)

FOCUSING ON CHILD DISCIPLINE

Parents of 15-year-old hockey player who committed suicide want to see 
changes in how kids are monitored when on away game trips.

When Patti Ricciuti talks about the death of her only son, there is a 
quiver in her voice.

When Ricciuti talks about his death by suicide in a Surrey hotel room, the 
tears lie just below the surface, threatening to break out at any time.

But beneath the quiver and the tears, there is a core of steel, a grim 
determination to drag something meaningful out of his death.

"Jason has taken his own life for nothing, if nothing positive comes out of 
this," declares Patti.

The facts of the case are simple, at least on the surface.

In November, 15-year-old Jason Ricciuti, facing suspension from his hockey 
team after being found in possession of marijuana during a road trip, 
barricaded himself in his hotel room and hung himself.

What Patti and her husband Terry Flamond want to know is why her kid--any 
kid--facing disciplinary action would be left alone?

"I know what he was thinking. It was the thought of maybe not being able to 
play hockey, the thought of 'What is going to happen next year if I get 
kicked off the team?'" says Patti.

"This wasn't a kid who played hockey for enjoyment once in a while. This 
was a kid who really wanted to go somewhere in hockey."

Patti says she and her husband can't think of any signs that Jason may have 
been depressed, leading her to conclude his suicide was a spontaneous act.

"I think he did it out of panic, fear, devastation, the thought of 'Oh my 
God, I'm not going to be able to play hockey anymore,'" Patti says.

"All those things together added up to him making that decision that night 
and being left alone."

To Patti and Terry, the solution is simple--a rule that forbids a player 
facing discipline from being left alone.

"I know in the bottom of my heart that if Jason hadn't been left alone that 
night for that short amount of time, he would have slept on it, got up and 
come home and we would have gotten through this together," she said.

That said, Patti and Terry say the don't blame anyone for what happened.

"I don't want anybody blamed, I just want the system changed," she said.

"They have no rule, just a policy of zero tolerance. What the hell does 
that mean?" Patti asks.

"They just need some rule, maybe a buddy system, where no one in that 
situation is left alone for even one moment. They cannot take for granted 
that just because a person seems to be handling it well that there's no 
problem."

Patti says she will fight to see that rule put in place for minor hockey 
and feels it should be extended to the

Central Okanagan School District when dealing with suspensions.

Jason's death was the second of three students who died by suicide in a 
two-month period.

In a cruelly ironic twist, the first death, that of a 13-year-old Constable 
Neil Bruce middle school student, happened after the boy was sent home 
alone after being suspended for smoking marijuana.

Jason's death rekindled a debate about the long-standing yet unofficial 
policy that media do not report suicides.

"It has nothing to do with criticizing anybody," Patti insists. "Does not 
talking about it because we don't want to hurt anybody's feelings solve 
anything? Obviously not. We should talk about it, we should try to get 
something done."

That's what has driven her to go public with what many would consider a 
private matter.

"My first thought when people began phoning me was 'leave me alone, go to 
hell, this is my own personal thing,'" says Patti.

"My son has killed himself, that's a pretty hard thing to deal with but 
when I read something about him being the fourth (suicide) in the valley, I 
thought this isn't just about me and my family, it's about everybody out there."
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