Pubdate: Wed, 18 Dec 2002 Source: Kelowna Capital News (CN BC) Copyright: 2002, West Partners Publishing Ltd. Contact: http://www.kelownacapnews.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1294 Author: John McDonald Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/youth.htm (Youth) FOCUSING ON CHILD DISCIPLINE Parents of 15-year-old hockey player who committed suicide want to see changes in how kids are monitored when on away game trips. When Patti Ricciuti talks about the death of her only son, there is a quiver in her voice. When Ricciuti talks about his death by suicide in a Surrey hotel room, the tears lie just below the surface, threatening to break out at any time. But beneath the quiver and the tears, there is a core of steel, a grim determination to drag something meaningful out of his death. "Jason has taken his own life for nothing, if nothing positive comes out of this," declares Patti. The facts of the case are simple, at least on the surface. In November, 15-year-old Jason Ricciuti, facing suspension from his hockey team after being found in possession of marijuana during a road trip, barricaded himself in his hotel room and hung himself. What Patti and her husband Terry Flamond want to know is why her kid--any kid--facing disciplinary action would be left alone? "I know what he was thinking. It was the thought of maybe not being able to play hockey, the thought of 'What is going to happen next year if I get kicked off the team?'" says Patti. "This wasn't a kid who played hockey for enjoyment once in a while. This was a kid who really wanted to go somewhere in hockey." Patti says she and her husband can't think of any signs that Jason may have been depressed, leading her to conclude his suicide was a spontaneous act. "I think he did it out of panic, fear, devastation, the thought of 'Oh my God, I'm not going to be able to play hockey anymore,'" Patti says. "All those things together added up to him making that decision that night and being left alone." To Patti and Terry, the solution is simple--a rule that forbids a player facing discipline from being left alone. "I know in the bottom of my heart that if Jason hadn't been left alone that night for that short amount of time, he would have slept on it, got up and come home and we would have gotten through this together," she said. That said, Patti and Terry say the don't blame anyone for what happened. "I don't want anybody blamed, I just want the system changed," she said. "They have no rule, just a policy of zero tolerance. What the hell does that mean?" Patti asks. "They just need some rule, maybe a buddy system, where no one in that situation is left alone for even one moment. They cannot take for granted that just because a person seems to be handling it well that there's no problem." Patti says she will fight to see that rule put in place for minor hockey and feels it should be extended to the Central Okanagan School District when dealing with suspensions. Jason's death was the second of three students who died by suicide in a two-month period. In a cruelly ironic twist, the first death, that of a 13-year-old Constable Neil Bruce middle school student, happened after the boy was sent home alone after being suspended for smoking marijuana. Jason's death rekindled a debate about the long-standing yet unofficial policy that media do not report suicides. "It has nothing to do with criticizing anybody," Patti insists. "Does not talking about it because we don't want to hurt anybody's feelings solve anything? Obviously not. We should talk about it, we should try to get something done." That's what has driven her to go public with what many would consider a private matter. "My first thought when people began phoning me was 'leave me alone, go to hell, this is my own personal thing,'" says Patti. "My son has killed himself, that's a pretty hard thing to deal with but when I read something about him being the fourth (suicide) in the valley, I thought this isn't just about me and my family, it's about everybody out there." - --- MAP posted-by: Alex