Pubdate: Sat, 28 Dec 2002
Source: Charlotte Observer (NC)
Copyright: 2002 The Charlotte Observer
Contact:  http://www.charlotte.com/mld/observer/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/78
Author: GARY L. WRIGHT

FORMER JUDGE NOW HELPS OTHER ADDICTED LAWYERS

Terry Sherrill was young and powerful, one of Charlotte's elite. He was 
only 28, with a promising career ahead of him as a judge.

But Sherrill, who'd become the first African American to win a contested 
Superior Court judgeship in North Carolina in the 20th century, was living 
a lie. He was addicted to cocaine.

Sherrill's life crumbled in March 1990 when he was caught in his parked 
Toyota 4-Runner -- with its special judicial license tag J 26 C -- in a 
cloud of marijuana smoke. Inside were a marijuana cigarette, a glass pipe 
and a tube containing cocaine residue.

Nine days later, Sherrill acknowledged his wrongdoing and resigned his 
$70,000-a-year judgeship in disgrace.

It was the low point of his life.

It would get worse.

"I was devastated," Sherrill said recently in his most detailed interview 
about his arrest 12 years ago that shocked Charlotte and its legal 
community. "I had let myself down. I had let my family down. I had let my 
friends down. And I let the legal community down. I could have been a role 
model to so many people. I wasn't."

Sherrill at first avoided jail. But he couldn't stay away from drugs. Four 
months after his arrest, he was fired by Duke Power Co. for failing a 
company drug test.

This time, there was no second chance. Sherrill, who as a judge had 
punished drug addicts, sometimes sending them to prison, pleaded guilty to 
possession of cocaine, marijuana and drug paraphernalia and spent two 
months in jail.

Today, Sherrill has his law license back. He says he hasn't had a drink of 
alcohol or used illegal drugs in more than 12 years. And he's working with 
the N.C. State Bar to help lawyers overcome addictions to alcohol and drugs.

He's thankful his world came crashing down when it did.

"I don't think I'd be alive today had I not been caught," Sherrill, now 47, 
said. "I don't think I would have survived the continued use and abuse of 
drugs. Drugs would have killed me."

In the months before being busted, Sherrill's cocaine habit had spun out of 
control. He spent $400 to $600 a week on the drug.

He had been using drugs since enrolling in 1973 as a freshman and Morehead 
scholar at UNC Chapel Hill. At first, his drug use was limited to 
marijuana. He later experimented with LSD, amphetamines and mescaline. And 
by 1980, he was using cocaine.

"I did drugs for the feeling, the euphoria, the high. I never felt until 
the end -- after I was arrested -- that my drug use was out of control."

At first, months would go by without him snorting cocaine. Then, there were 
times he'd snort the drug every weekend. Soon, he was using it on 
weeknights. Even smoking crack.

His addiction put a financial strain on his family. He could still support 
his wife and two sons -- one 7 years old, the other born just three months 
before his arrest. But he had to put off buying furniture and a new car.

"I needed the money for drugs."

Sherrill kept his habit a secret. Only a few good friends knew.

His arrest brought relief. "I felt like a burden had been lifted from me 
because of the life I had been living," he recalls. "My life, because of 
the drugs, was a lie."

Sherrill is ashamed that he presided in court and punished drug addicts 
while he struggled with his own addiction.

"I thought a lot about that and how it was wrong. But I had compassion for 
the people who had problems with drugs and were addicted. I tried to 
fashion my punishments to help them.

"At the time, I didn't believe I was addicted. I felt my drug use helped me 
relate to the people who appeared before me. That was part of my 
rationalization to continue using drugs. It was wrong. I know that now."

Sherrill's arrest stunned friends in the legal community.

"I was disappointed in Terry," said Charlotte defense lawyer and former 
prosecutor Norman Butler, a fraternity brother of Sherrill. "He shouldn't 
have let it happen."

Mecklenburg Senior Resident Superior Court Judge Shirley Fulton, the first 
black woman to serve as a state judge in Charlotte, considered Sherrill a 
mentor.

"We as judges are supposed to be examples," Fulton said. "We are supposed 
to live our lives as we direct others to....Terry was not doing that. Here 
was a judge doing things we were sentencing people to jail for."

Mecklenburg District Attorney Peter Gilchrist cut Sherrill a break. As a 
first-time offender, Sherrill was allowed to avoid prosecution by admitting 
wrongdoing, resigning his judgeship and turning in his law license.

Sherrill had to submit to urinalysis and get treatment. If he abided by the 
conditions for a year, all charges would be dismissed.

But after testing positive for cocaine while working for Duke Power Co., 
Sherrill was indicted on the cocaine, marijuana and drug paraphernalia 
charges. He pleaded guilty and was sentenced to a year in jail.

Sherrill spent two months behind bars in Mecklenburg.

At night, he was locked up in solitary. By day, he worked in the jail 
canteen, selling inmates drinks, snacks and toiletries.

"That was a very humbling experience," he recalls.

At first, Sherrill worried about his safety. The inmates knew he had been a 
judge. And he saw inmates whom he'd sentenced.

"I was afraid those first few nights in jail," he recalled. "I feared 
somebody might want to hurt me."

When the jail door clanked shut that first time, Sherrill knew he had to 
get his habit under control. "I knew then I had hit bottom. I told myself 
this was it. I knew I had a lot of people behind me, supporting me and 
praying for me. But I knew it was up to me to turn my life around."

 From his jail cell, Sherrill had time to reflect.

His future had seemed so promising. He joined the Mecklenburg Public 
Defender's office shortly after graduating from UNC's law school in 1980.

Three years later, then-Gov. Jim Hunt appointed Sherrill to the Mecklenburg 
District Court bench. In 1984, Sherrill ran for the judgeship and won. His 
election to the Superior Court bench followed two years later.

For a time after his arrest, Sherrill thought about leaving town. 
"Sometimes I think it would have been easier to have left."

He knew he had jeopardized his marriage.

"I was afraid I might not be able to stop doing drugs. I was afraid I might 
not be able to keep my family together. My wife could have moved out and 
left me and no one would have blamed her. She could have abandoned the ship."

With her husband in jail, Gloria Sherrill started working as a teacher's 
assistant to keep the family together and pay the bills.

 From the Mecklenburg jail, Sherrill called prominent Charlotte lawyer Bill 
Diehl. Diehl offered the former judge and disbarred lawyer a job as a 
paralegal at his law firm.

There Sherrill helped write litigation documents. Diehl and his firm would 
later help Sherrill get his law license back and would hire him as an 
associate.

"It was the right thing to do," Diehl said. "He was no different than 
anybody else with an addiction except he was a judge."

Sherrill got his law license back in 1993 and was welcomed back into 
Charlotte's legal community. "It was like I never left -- except I didn't 
have the black robe on."

Even so, there were uncomfortable times. "I sometimes felt embarrassed.... 
And I sensed some disapproval. People didn't know how to act or what to say 
to me."

Sherrill's friends in the legal community applaud his recovery.

"For some people, this would have taken them over the edge," said Norman 
Butler, the defense lawyer. "Not Terry. He dealt with it. He's back."

Today, Sherrill practices law with his nephew, Johneric Emehel. He still 
goes to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings once or twice a week. He says he 
hasn't had a drink of alcohol or drugs since Sept. 10, 1990 -- the first 
day he was locked up in jail.

Sherrill heads the N.C. State Bar's PALS program, which helps lawyers 
battling addictions. He talks at lawyer gatherings around the state about 
his fight against addiction.

He's traveled to Albuquerque, N.M., to talk to the American Bar 
Association's lawyers assistance program about addiction. And he's 
testified before Mississippi's Supreme Court about disciplining lawyers 
convicted of felonies.

Sherrill now wants to focus much of his law practice on helping people in 
trouble with addictions. "That's now my ministry, so to speak," he said. "I 
get the most satisfaction from my work when I'm helping people -- like I 
was helped."

Charlotte lawyer Calvin Murphy, head of the State Bar committee that 
disciplines lawyers, said Sherrill's talks about his addiction and recovery 
are very effective.

"Terry isn't talking about what he's read or studied. He's lived the 
experience of drug addiction and coming back from it," Murphy said. "Terry 
has made a remarkable turnaround. That's testimony to his fortitude."

Sherrill hopes the story of his downfall and comeback will motivate others 
with addictions.

"I'm hoping people will learn from what I went through. No one is perfect. 
If you fall, get up and brush yourself off.

"You can start over."
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MAP posted-by: Keith Brilhart