Pubdate: Thu, 08 May 2003
Source: Sun News (Myrtle Beach, SC)
Copyright: 2003 Sun Publishing Co.
Contact:  http://www.myrtlebeachonline.com/mld/sunnews/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/987
Note: apparent 150 word limit on LTEs
Author: Celia Rivenbark

VIRTUE CAN ONLY TAKE YOU SO FAR

I met William J. Bennett seven years ago at a naturalization ceremony for 
several dozen brand-new American citizens. Even for a jaded newsie, it was 
hard not to choke up while watching them happily file by a huge, 
flag-draped trash can and ceremoniously toss in little flags representing 
their native countries.

In the speech that followed, Bennett extolled the virtues of the Good 
American: honesty, hard work, self-discipline and the ability to 
successfully double down without looking like a monkey at the blackjack tables.

Bennett, a former "drug czar," which, in actual fact does NOT require him 
to wear a funny pointy hat, is the self-appointed King of Virtues. So 
imagine my surprise when I read that he'd lost $8 million playing video 
poker. VIDEO POKER. Not even a classy James Bondian game like baccarat, 
which requires shirt and shoes. Video poker? He's like those pathetic old 
men I used to see in Atlantic City, N.J., who'd spend all day betting 
quarters on motorized plastic horses racing around an Astroturf-covered table.

I don't know. For a former U.S. secretary of education, it's just so, well, 
un-czarlike.

You could argue that Bennett spent his own money pursuing an activity in 
legally operated casinos. He pointed out that he didn't put his family "at 
risk" or "spend the milk money."

Heck, I know the guy's insanely rich. He probably didn't even spend the 
"ski retreat in Vail" money. The rich, hons, are not like you and me. They 
have never known the sweaty anticipation of scratching off the numbers on 
the Tic-Tac-Dough lottery tickets.

So what if Bennett lost more than $500,000 in Vegas one day last April? 
It's his to lose, right?

Maybe I'm just bitter. After all, nowhere in my 5-year-old's copy of 
Bennett's best-selling "Children's Book of Virtues" does it mention 
anything really useful. Instead of the blather about how "a brave heart 
will always persevere as long as it takes to get the job done," why not 
tell us something we can truly use, such as how to persevere to get the 
best five-card hand so we can earn the bonus with our payout?

Instead of the heartwarming tale of the little Dutch boy saving his town by 
holding his finger in the dike, why not tell us how to sniff out the best 
slots at Harrah's?

Education schmeducation. As long as you work on your Joker Poker playing 
skills, you might as well use that high-school diploma to wipe the 
hot-wings grease off your chin at drink-free-til-you-pee night at the casino.

Virtue is its own reward, as they say. But you don't get your room comped 
with virtue, right Billy boy?
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