Pubdate: Thu,  8 May 2003
Source: San Jose Mercury News (CA)
Copyright: 2003 San Jose Mercury News
Contact:  http://www.bayarea.com/mld/mercurynews
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/390
Author: Michelle Guido
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/rehab.htm (Treatment)
Bookmark: 
http://www.mapinc.org/prison.htm (Incarceration)

PICKING UP THE PIECES

Girl Scout Troop Helps Jailed Moms Trying To Connect With Daughters

Five Girl Scouts pair up with their mothers and split into two groups for a 
singalong. They try to out-sing each other as they belt out show tunes and 
oldies.

In the corner of the room a uniformed correctional officer stands guard.

This is not your ordinary Girl Scout meeting.

But for 90 minutes every Saturday, these young girls and their mothers -- 
who are incarcerated at Santa Clara County's Correctional Center for Women 
- -- try to rebuild troubled relationships torn apart by drugs, crime and 
years of pent-up anger.

"I don't have a good relationship with my mom, and I didn't really want to 
see her at first," said Desarie, 16, whose mother signed up for the program 
in January. The Mercury News is not identifying the children because their 
mothers are in jail. "But when I came, it kind of helped us get to know 
each other again, so that's why I still come."

Despite the success of the new program, called Heart to Heart by the Girl 
Scouts of Santa Clara County, it was perilously close to becoming one of 
several rehabilitative projects cut this year because of the county's $160 
million budget deficit.

The program, paid for by a grant through the Girl Scouts, doesn't cost the 
county a penny, said Carla Van Meter, a rehabilitation officer at the 
Elmwood Correctional Facility in Milpitas. Even though the department of 
correction must cut $17 million from its $126.5 million budget, officials 
say they can continue to provide one correctional officer to oversee the 
weekly meetings.

In order to participate, the mothers must have daughters between the ages 
of 12 and 17, and the desire to strengthen those relationships.

The daughters -- many of whom are living with relatives or in foster care 
- -- make the final decision whether to participate. Many are angry at their 
mothers, most of whom have been in jail more than once.

Each Wednesday night, counselors from the Girl Scouts meet with the women 
at Elmwood. On Saturday mornings, they meet with the daughters. Later that 
afternoon, the mothers and daughters are united at the jail's visiting 
room, which is decorated with children's brightly colored art work.

"A lot of girls feel a responsibility to take care of their mothers," said 
Cassandra Reed, a paralegal from Sunnyvale who is one of the Girl Scout 
counselors. "We want them to know that they are teenagers and that isn't 
their responsibility."

One of the girls, a 15-year-old named Nikki, has been forced to take on 
adult responsibilities because her mom has been in and out of jail for 
years because of drug use. Now that her mother is out of jail, Nikki often 
feels more like parent than child.

"Trying to keep her clean and sober is more work for me than it is for 
her," said Nikki, who is allowed to stay in the program for peer support 
even though she no longer attends the jail visits. "We shouldn't have 
responsibility for our mothers. It's not cool when they act like children 
and do drugs and go to jail."

On a recent Wednesday night, five inmate participants sat in a portable 
classroom on the county jail grounds. Two Heart to Heart counselors began 
by asking the mothers to read the program's rules, a weekly ritual.

Many of the rules regard conduct and common sense -- no talking about their 
cases, no "street talk." But some rules foreshadow the emotional nature of 
the Saturday mother-daughter meetings: "Overly dramatic reactions, yelling, 
excessive crying or sobbing will not be tolerated."

Forced to remain clean and sober while in jail, many of the mothers in the 
program come to powerful realizations about the pain they've caused their 
children.

"I betrayed my daughter's trust, and I know I did," said Genny Carranza, 
36, who is in jail for drug possession and being under the influence.
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MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom