Pubdate: Wed, 09 Jul 2003
Source: Daily Comet (LA)
Copyright: 2003 Comet-Press Newspapers Inc.
Contact:  http://dailycomet.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1505
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Author: Jeffrey Zeringue

IS IT REALLY TIME FOR THAT TALK ALREADY?

When does the age of innocence end?

After being in the journalism profession for more than 15 years, I have had 
the opportunity to find out plenty of things that would devastate, depress, 
disgust or delight most folks. I have been in situations that called for 
sensitivity and others that have called for sternness. Yet nothing would 
have prepared me for what happened Sunday.

Parenting is certainly not an easy vocation. Some are called to it, some 
fall into it and others flee from it. I know that parenting is different 
from when my mother and father began. Well, parenting may not be different, 
but the times certainly are.

That is what led me to Sunday. I was working at my computer at home when I 
overheard my son mention drugs to his little sister. Naturally, 
investigation was necessary. What was discovered was that he had taken a 
cylinder of candy to his room and, while playing with his sister, decided 
that he would pretend the candy was a drug that would increase his physical 
abilities. He is 7.

Of course, I had to ask what was going on. He told me. He did not make up 
anything else, he was honest in what he was playing. So at 7, I had to ask 
my son what he really knew about drugs. Immediately, my mind called up an 
old commercial where the mother and father could be seen talking to someone 
in a high back chair. They told this mysterious guest about the dangers of 
drugs and a little about some of the legal consequences.

They were talking to a stuffed bear. Hardly a substitute, but at least they 
had some practice. I had to do it cold.

I cannot imagine any parents looking forward to sitting down with their 
child to tell them about drugs. I know there are several programs out 
there, such as D.A.R.E. programs in schools. No matter how much you have 
been exposed to this information, however, how can any parent really be 
ready to tell a 7-year-old something that most folks in my generation did 
not find out about until the teen-age years? Knowledge is power. We promote 
that every day on these pages. The more people know about the world around 
them, the better choices they can make in almost anything in life. And 
while I would have thought this day would have come later, everything I 
might have rehearsed in my mind all these years when the time for this talk 
would eventually come spun around in my head.

For a moment, all I could do was look at this innocent little face and 
wonder why this has to happen now? Why is it necessary for my elementary 
school-aged child to have to lose a little of his innocence already?

I did find the words, and I think he really understands the danger drugs 
bring. But as I sat there deflated and emotionally spent, I could only pray 
that the words I used will stay with him in future years when times get 
really tough. When a "friend" asks him to "just try" something. Or when 
another tells him he is being a wimp because he says he does not want to 
"just try" something. Or when this "friend" ostracizes him because he is 
not "cool" like his other "friends."

I hope and pray that in a few more years, when he thinks he knows 
everything and gets mad at me because he disagrees with my "guidance," he 
will remember our little talk - as well as others that will follow - that 
ended with, "Son, you know you can come to me about anything," and, "Son, I 
love you."

Contemplating this prayer, I think I understand a little better now why my 
mother always had bad knees.

Jeffrey Zeringue is executive editor of the Daily Comet. Opinions expressed 
are those of the writer and not necessarily of this newspaper.
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