Pubdate: Wed, 10 Dec 2003
Source: Bracebridge Examiner (CN ON)
Copyright: 2003 The Bracebridge Examiner Ltd.
Contact:  http://www.bracebridgeexaminer.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/2354
Author: Matthew Sitler

MOTHER GRAPPLES WITH TEENAGE SON'S DRUG WOES

A Muskoka mother knows she is not alone when it comes to dealing with a 
scourge that has threatened to tear her family apart for years.

She has advice for other parents who have to deal with a child's drug 
addictions.

"Parents have to open their eyes," she told the Examiner.

Her son, now 17, has attended three South Muskoka high schools since Grade 
9, and is currently not attending any.

"The whole time we thought it was a hormone thing," she said of the signs 
that are now so clear in hindsight. "Everybody kept saying it was a hormone 
thing. It wasn't. It was drugs."

It was while her son was still in Grade 8 at Beechgrove Public School that 
she first noticed a change in his behaviour.

"He started hanging around with a new crowd," she said. "Before he was into 
sports and athletics, but he started changing, getting moodier."

The mother said that a Grade 8 teacher at Beechgrove warned her that her 
son was hanging out with a boy who was trouble.

"He [the teacher] just said that this other kid was bad news," she said. 
"So I told my son that the teachers were watching him, and to stay away 
from that kid. I did it to try to intimidate him not to hang around with 
him, but it didn't seem to work."

The following school year, her son's drug problems began to compound.

"He was at St. Dominic in Grade 9 and that's where the drugs really 
started," she said. "At the time, he had $5 every day for lunch. I noticed 
he was losing weight and he was using the money to buy marijuana. He was 
getting it from kids at school. He'd smoke it at school. Right out in the 
smoking area in front of the school."

She later learned that $5 was what it cost her son to buy one joint of 
marijuana.

"His marks were terrible, he was really rebelling at St. Dominic," she said.

Her son then attended Gravenhurst High School during Grade 10 and half of 
Grade 11.

He was constantly asked to come into the school's office to be searched for 
drugs.

"The police would come in," she said. "It wasn't just him, there were other 
students. They never found anything."

She said her son was eventually suspended from Gravenhurst High for being 
obnoxious. During that year his drug use escalated to include drugs other 
than marijuana.

"He did crack cocaine," she said. "He says he's done crack, snorted cocaine 
and Special K. He said he's done everything except needles."

While in Grade 11, her son's problems led him to trouble with the law. "He 
got charged with robbery," she said. Ultimately, he was expelled from the 
school, she said.

"It was for being uncontrollable and being on drugs," she said. "He had 
been suspended so many times."

Her son then attended the second half of his Grade 11 year at Bracebridge 
and Muskoka Lakes Secondary School (BMLSS).

"At first he was doing well because he was on contract," she said. "He knew 
the principal was watching him closely. Once he was told he wasn't being 
watched as closely, that's when all hell broke loose. He was on drugs, 
getting high and skipping classes. Not doing any homework whatsoever. He 
was doing crack. We found marijuana on him and a crack pipe in his school 
pack. We put the ultimatum to him, get out of the drugs or you are going to 
have to find a new home."

Her son then began attending Addiction Outreach Muskoka Parry Sound 
sessions in Gravenhurst.

"He went for maybe a couple of months and then that was it," she said. "He 
got suspended from BMLSS during the first part of this year. He was charged 
with bodily assault."

Because of this most recent brush with the law, her son had to start 
attending Addiction Outreach sessions in Bracebridge every two weeks 
because it was part of his probation order.

While she has been told that her son is insecure, she keeps harkening back 
to his choice of friends while he was in Grade 8. This was when she first 
noticed her son's descent into trouble.

She has advice for other parents dealing with similar situations.

"All parents should be aware of drugs," she said. "Search their room, do a 
pack search. The kids have to earn privilege and privacy. That's how we 
found out, we searched the pack in his room."

Pat Walker, executive director of Addiction Outreach Muskoka Parry Sound, 
concludes there can be many reasons underlying student drug use. She said 
addiction outreach workers see students who are referred by a variety of 
people, including parents, probation and parole officers, family doctors, 
guidance counsellors and school vice-principals.

Walker said the first step parents should take with a child who they 
suspect has a drug problem is to communicate openly.

"If you come from a harm reduction point of view where you want to 
intervene at the earliest possible point, then you need to have open 
communication with your child, coming from a neutral place where you try to 
give the youth the most info possible. In other words, help them make 
informed decisions, which is what we do here as well."

Walker stressed the importance of parents educating themselves about the 
harmful effects of drugs and alcohol. Such knowledge can be used to help 
identify indicators of drug use. A brochure provided by Walker cites 
numerous indicators, such as a sudden drop or gradual lowering of school 
grades, violence, either physical or verbal, and more obvious signs, 
including possession of drug paraphernalia.

"If they identify any of those situations, they can certainly call here," 
said Walker. "Or call Family, Youth and Child Services Muskoka and say 'I 
am a parent. I have a child with these behaviours. Where do I go from here?'"

Asked how a parent could differentiate between natural hormonal-induced 
changes in behaviour and indications of drug use, Walker said: "If 
behaviours escalate and are maintained for a certain period of time. In 
other words, a pattern of behaviour that is not the norm compared to normal 
youth development. Then parents would want to start looking at those 
behaviours and start asking some questions."

Walker is adamant about one thing. Drug use does not occur in a vacuum.

"Kids who are using, might have a reason for using," she explained, citing 
grief issues and other more frequent teenage challenges.

She is also realistic. "I would say drug and alcohol use is a cultural norm 
for some students," she said. "There are going to be a percentage who are 
going to use and maybe only use once, but there are always going to be 
certain students."
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MAP posted-by: Beth Wehrman