Pubdate: Wed, 12 Mar 2003 Source: Daily Nebraskan (NE Edu) Copyright: 2003 Daily Nebraskan Contact: http://www.dailyneb.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1176 Author: Timaree Schmit Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/pot.htm (Cannabis) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/find?135 (Drug Education) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/youth.htm (Youth) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/campaign.htm (ONDCP Media Campaign) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/find?195 (Partnership for a Drug Free America) MARIJUANA AD CAMPAIGNS LESS THAN INTOXICATING So you're sitting in the den with your buddy, getting blazed. Now if you're like the majority of potheads, you get giggly, hungry and start playing with firearms. Lord knows every day at 4:20 all my stoner friends break out the 20 gauge and look down the barrels while listening to Hendrix. Well, at least that's the impression I'm getting from the fine people at the Partnership for a Drug-Free America and the Office of National Drug Control Policy. Well, "fine people" might be stretching it. They're actually condescending assholes. They operate under the (unfortunately true) premise that Americans are so stupid that as long as there is high production quality and something shocking at the end of 30 seconds, they'll believe every damn word you say. As you've probably surmised, I'm referring to the new super-duper "Marijuana ... harmless?" and "anti-drug" campaigns. They're swell. Maybe you've seen some of the spots on television. If not, you should definitely check out the profound logic and thorough research also used in such grand films as "Reefer Madness." Now, let me make one thing clear before I launch into my heated invective. While it will surprise none of you that I am very much in favor of the decriminalization of marijuana, this fact is not the motivation behind my uncontrollable rage. I have no beef with the government trying to keep little tykes away from dangerous substances, be they coke, alcohol or windshield wiper fluid. That's fine by me. I personally would never suggest that anyone use an illicit drug, especially not a minor. It's in the best interests of all people that children grow up healthy, without chemical dependency. And if the best way to keep Americans healthy is a massive, expensive advertising campaign, then so be it. Now bear in mind, reasonable people do not lump pot in with actual drugs, but for the sake of conciseness, we'll pretend it's deserving of as much negative attention as meth. My major concern, however, is that since approximately $3 billion have been spent on PDFA ads alone, maybe there should be actual information relayed. Instead, it's been blatant examples of bullshit. It's the kind of stuff you pull in school when you draw a parallel between the class' subject matter and the fact you brought "Fight Club" on VHS for a group presentation. So, my argument is that while the ONDCP can go ahead and keep cranking out promotional material, they ought to be, at minimum, honest. Now, that said, this new saturation of propaganda sucks worse than having a horrible surgical mix-up where you end up with the head of a Lego man. At first I thought the creators of these commercials had to be closet stoners who were making the ads so purposely outlandish the whole thing would backfire. That was the only way this could make even a bit of sense. Then I found out some of my friends' parents are actually falling for this tripe and using it as evidence when lecturing their offspring about drugs. It was upon this irrefutable evidence I realized Americans really can be idiots; my very moral fiber impelled me to make some constructive ruckus. I'd like to start by pointing out something that appears to be escaping a few people: These omnipresent TV, radio and print ads geared toward teens don't actually refer to the dangers of marijuana itself (the ads designed for parents do slightly better). They sometimes have to do with violent drug dealers, unprotected sex and driving while intoxicated; but weed is mere background. The closest to achieving the goal of honesty is one entitled "Four Cigarettes." It refers to the fact that the amount of tar consumed when smoking one joint is tantamount to smoking four cigarettes. This is true. Smoking is very, very, very bad for you. You should stop now. But once again, this isn't directly addressing marijuana, just the act of smoking it. The entire argument is negated by someone who gets high off weed brownies. However, the remainder of the ads for teens recall a time of sensationalist stories of the insanity, promiscuity and violence elicited by the evil "marihuana." Teetering between obnoxious and infuriating, one particular commercial entitled "Couple" actually has the repugnant audacity to imply that girls who smoke weed are putting themselves in a position to be raped. While being intoxicated may make it harder to fight someone off you, there is no excuse for implying to a teen she is ultimately responsible for being sexually assaulted. Maybe some of the ridiculous amounts of funds given to these campaigns should go toward preventing date rape instead. That strikes me as slightly more pressing than some girl smoking a joint to make watching "Ren & Stimpy" a little more interesting. Reaching unparalleled levels of ridiculousness, the ad I loathe the most is the one I cited at the beginning called "The Den." Two kids get high, talk about stupid crap and then play with a gun. When one idiot kid inevitably shoots the other, it somehow proves marijuana is bad. What I find superlatively more dangerous is the idea of leaving a loaded gun somewhere your moronic kid can play with it. I could go on for hours about the fallacious logic of all of the ONDCP and PDFA propaganda, but it would get redundant. Instead, I'd like to proffer up an alternative. As much as it pains me to assist these bastards in defaming an innocent little plant, I still think keeping kiddos off drugs is a noble crusade. Accordingly, I suggest an ad campaign that shows the actual consequences of marijuana. No bizarre scare tactics, no unfounded melodrama. The ads should show kids sitting on a couch for hours on end, eating junk food and getting fat. Our society despises fat, wouldn't the prospect of gaining weight be truly fear provoking for American teens? Showing real repercussions, the commercials might feature a kid so stoned and lazy he completely ignores his girlfriend's amorous advances. Point out to those idiot teenage boys that weed might actually lower the odds of them getting laid. If anything was ever persuasive, this would be it. Those are just two options. I can already picture a dozen guys looking at their bongs with new skepticism. These ads should be aimed toward kids who are actually at a risk of using drugs, not at their already law-abiding parents and goody-goody little sisters. Somehow, though, despite my vigilance and creativity, I doubt the idiotic ads will subside with anything other than time. - --- MAP posted-by: Jackl