Pubdate: Sat, 12 Apr 2003
Source: Herald-Sun, The (Durham, NC)
Copyright: 2003 The Herald-Sun
Contact:  http://www.herald-sun.com
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1428
Author: Beth Velliquette

SPEAKERS CITE PRICE OF DRUG, ALCOHOL ABUSE

CHAPEL HILL -- They called themselves Student No. 1 and Student No. 2.

Former students at Chapel Hill High School, they told a group of about 80 
people at the school earlier this week about their addictions to drugs and 
how they recovered.

The students were part of a panel discussion on teenage alcohol and drug 
use in Chapel Hill. Other panelists included counselors and two parents who 
dealt with sons who became addicted to drugs in high school.

For most parents, by the time they realize their sons or daughters are in 
trouble with drugs, their children likely have been using drugs for several 
years.

"I started using drugs in middle school in the eighth grade," said Student 
No. 1. "I started off pretty quick. I started smoking and taking LSD and 
drinking all before I left middle school."

Student No. 2 got drunk for the first time when he was 9 years old and 
smoked marijuana when he was in the fifth grade. "It was a once-a-year 
thing," he said.

By the eighth grade, he met other students who were using drugs and 
alcohol, and his usage increased to once a month, he said.

"In ninth grade, it seemed to me that everybody was doing it," he said. "It 
became an every week thing. Even coming here at lunch, people would sneak 
across the street or get high blatantly right on campus. It started getting 
really heavy, and my parents found out. They thought it was just once in a 
while."

By the time their parents began to question them about drugs, both students 
had been using drugs for three or four years. Their parents sent them to 
military schools, where they said they learned which household products 
they could use to get high.

"I was using Glade," one said. "It was really quite disgusting."

At the other end of the long table on the stage of the school auditorium 
sat the mothers of two other boys who began using drugs in high school.

Parent No. 2 said her son had a "strong attachment" to marijuana. It made 
him feel comfortable, philosophical and witty, and he told her that 
marijuana was a fantastic thing.

She was always checking to see if her son was smoking marijuana. "I became 
a detective, police officer and police dog," she said. "I really became 
quite the sniffer."

Although her son thought marijuana was fantastic, his grades slipped and he 
got in trouble at school. They tried family counseling, and she joined 
Al-Anon, a group associated with Alcoholics Anonymous that's for family and 
friends of alcoholics or drug addicts.

"I still go, and it's just invaluable to me," she said. "I learned that an 
addiction is an illness. Maybe he couldn't help himself."

Since her son didn't think marijuana was affecting him, the family gave him 
a deadline to bring up his grades, find and hold a job and improve his 
relationship with other family members. "We told him if he couldn't live up 
to these expectations, his life as he knew it was over," she said.

Eight weeks passed, and nothing had changed. Without warning, one morning 
at 5 a.m., she woke up her son, and a man was waiting to drive him to a 
treatment center and school in the mountains of Georgia. "He left 
everything and entered a new chapter of his life," she said.

As the fog of drugs slowly cleared from his brain, he began to read again, 
became more energized and returned to some of the athletic activities he 
once enjoyed, she said.

"It was only then that our son realized, in his own words, how much he had 
lost to pot," she said.

Student No. 1 said he had to face the reality that drugs and alcohol were 
ruining his life after he began having blackouts.

"I'd find myself in the back of somebody's yard," he said. "I went to 
college for a little while, but that didn't work out. I couldn't even get a 
job. My relationships with other people were really starting to get bad."

He found help with a friend who had gone through the same thing but was in 
recovery. "He showed me that there is a life besides using," he said. "My 
life has gotten a whole lot better."

He is a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and is working the 12-step program.

Student No. 2 returned from military school and re-enrolled at Chapel Hill 
High School. "I remember selling drugs on campus, and it was just so easy," 
he said.

When his family kicked him out of the home, he went to live with his 
brother on the condition he not use drugs. He joined Alcoholics Anonymous. 
"I think it's real important to inform people about their options so that 
they don't think it's cool or OK," he said.

Linda Hammock, a certified substance abuse counselor at the high school, 
said that parents sometimes miss the early stages of drug abuse or they 
blame their children's friends.

"Children don't use because they fell into the bad crowd," she said. 
"They're more likely choosing a bad crowd because they want to use. They 
begin to think of themselves as some group they would aspire to be like -- 
whether that be a punk, a hippie or a pothead, something that they think is 
cool. They begin to change their belief system about who they are and what 
they do."

The kids begin to lie and scheme. They look and feel rundown and miss 
school. "At this time they're avoiding their parents like the plague," she 
said. "They begin to refine their skills of lying."

They have mood swings and act differently. "It's at this point when the 
parents are bringing the kids to mental health professionals, and many of 
them aren't very good at recognizing substance abuse," Hammock said.

Instead of recognizing that the problems stem from substance abuse, some 
therapists diagnose the students as being depressed.

If parents suspect their children are using drugs, they should have them 
see a substance abuse specialist who will do an assessment to determine 
whether the child is using drugs, Hammock said.

The problem with children using drugs and alcohol at such an early age is 
that drugs and alcohol affect young people's brains in different ways than 
they do adults, said Ken Mills, a licensed clinical psychologist who 
specializes in addiction disorders.

"When somebody starts using drugs or alcohol, emotional growth stops," he said.

Emotional growth means not expressing your feelings anytime or anywhere. 
"It's not getting upset with your parents because they won't let you get 
stoned," Mills said. "It's not staying up all night playing video games."

Emotional growth also means learning how to deal with boredom, learning how 
to be calm when you feel anxious, dealing with angry feelings and learning 
to express positive feelings and positive beliefs, Mills said.

For substance abusers, negativity becomes a lifestyle, he said. It's not 
until they get sober that they can begin to believe in themselves again.
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