Pubdate: Fri, 05 Nov 2004 Source: Cape Cod Times (MA) Copyright: 2004 Cape Cod Times Contact: http://www.capecodonline.com/cctimes/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/72 Author: Bill Fonda Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/coke.htm (Cocaine) 'IT'S COOL TO BE CLEAN': ORLEANS MAN CONQUERS ADDICTION THANKS TO CANAL HOUSE ORLEANS - Dan Sullivan can smile. That may seem routine, but the smile is a symbol of how far Sullivan has come since that dark day when he overdosed on crack cocaine and fell on the floor, knocking his top teeth out and breaking his nose. "I looked in the mirror, and my disease told me it was going to be OK," he said. "That was the first time I thought I wasn't going to be OK." Sullivan has a lot to smile about these days. The 47-year-old has been clean and sober for more than two years, spending the last 18 months in Canal House in Orleans, a sober house run by the Lower Cape Community Development Corp. in partnership with Gosnold on Cape Cod and the Orleans Housing Authority. He started his own paint and wallpaper business, After Five, in April, and restarted a music career that had been derailed by his drinking. His blues band, The Coolerators, is playing at Harry's on Main Street in Hyannis Nov. 11 and 18. "It's really cool to be clean, and you can never be too cool," Sullivan said. Getting hooked Sullivan said he started drinking at age 15, "just like anybody, camping out, drinking with friends and buddies" - but his problems really started when he started playing in bars at 16. "I was hanging out with alcoholics and drug addicts at a young age," he said. "I got a lot of bad information on how to live life." Alcohol was Sullivan's drug of choice, followed by marijuana, but he also dabbled in amphetamines and pills, as well as LSD while he was in college. He also snorted cocaine for two or three years after college, but stopped. "I couldn't play and snort coke; it was just ugly," he said. However, once he got out of the music business at the age of 40, Sullivan discovered smoking crack cocaine. "That was the beginning of the end for me," he said. "It sent me to my bottom pretty quickly, five years." During his days of drinking and doing drugs, Sullivan said he went through a lot of relationships that he called "turbulent and unhealthy." He was married for two years, even giving up drinking for a year and a half during that time. "It was to save my marriage, supposedly, but I was just trying to prove I wasn't an alcoholic," he said. "I doubled up on my drugs." Eventually, Sullivan said drugs and alcohol cost him not only his music career, but any relationships he had. "It became obvious to a lot of people early on, but I was going to do what I wanted to do," he said. "People didn't want me around. That's where the disease wants you, isolated." When the disease made him homeless, Sullivan decided it was time to get help. The turning point was the night he spent in a homeless shelter in Framingham, which scared him because there were people there even worse off than he was. "I realized at that point that I could go even lower, and that's when I asked for help," he said. Getting clean Sullivan said "the state of Massachusetts saved my butt," as it paid for his detox and stay in North Cottage, an intense treatment program and halfway house in Norton. He can remember the dates he was in North Cottage - - Sept. 22, 2002 to March 3, 2003. "These were big events in life, because I had a life, or I had a chance at life," he said. Before getting help, Sullivan said he thought he was going to die. "I didn't see any way out," he said. "But that was doing it by myself. I thought I had to do it all by myself." Sullivan learned about Canal House through a flier he saw while in his counselor's office at North Cottage. "I saw Canal House and I said, 'I want to go here,'" he said. Canal House provides housing for recovering addicts as they make their way back into independent living. Each of the five men and three women who live there has a separate bedroom and uses a shared living room, kitchen and bathroom. The house manager lives on-site. Potential tenants have to be sober for three months to be eligible to live at the house. "Our experience has been you need to have that foundation here," said Cheryl Gayle, director of housing programs for the Lower Cape CDC. Tenants develop services plans and goals with a case manager and must work or volunteer 20 hours per week or go to school. They also must agree to random drug and alcohol testing. Since Canal House begin in the spring of 1998, Gayle said 24 clients have moved to other locations, although not everyone has been successful. "That's part of the nature of disease, for relapse to happen," she said. If a tenant does relapse, Gayle said Canal House tries to arrange for treatment, and the person can reapply if he or she regains sobriety for three months. According to Gayle, people are staying longer because of the difficulty in finding affordable housing. Previously, she said they stayed nine months to a year. "Now it's quite common for people to stay a year," she said. "For most people, two years, it's time to move on." Sullivan plans on leaving Canal House, but whether the topic is moving, his music or his business, he said he does not get caught up in thinking too much about the future. "What's the most important thing I can do today?" he asked. "Tomorrow takes care of itself at that point." Canal House has an opening for a female tenant, but always accepts applications for a waiting list. For information, call Cheryl Gayle at 508-240-7873, ext. 17. - --- MAP posted-by: Terry Liittschwager