Pubdate: Fri, 12 Mar 2004 Source: Maneater, The (Columbia, MO Edu) Copyright: 2004 The Maneater Contact: http://www.themaneater.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1283 Author: Keith Ecker TAKE A BITE OUT OF MISINFORMATION AND FEAR One Night, While Drunkenly Perusing The Internet, I Stumbled Upon A True Gem. The National Crime Prevention Council Web site was offering free copies of its "McGruff the Crime Dog" comic book to anyone who filled in the required information. With every last shred of sobriety in my body, I plugged in the appropriate data and then reclined, waiting for my find to arrive. Eight weeks later, my McGruff illustrated workbook showed up in the mailbox. Like a 13-year-old unwrapping his first Playboy, I ran upstairs to my room and pored over the comic. What I discovered horrified me. I remembered McGruff the Crime Dog as a lovable, anthropomorphic bloodhound. In a film-noir, Chicago-detective voice altered by a slight speech impediment, McGruff taught me to tell my parents if I encountered the "bad touch," to have someone watch as I light Black Cats and M-80s off in my hand and to inspect all my Halloween candy for razor blades so I wouldn't become just another bizarre scare tactic statistic. After reading this new edition of McGruff, I have come to the chilling conclusion that our former friend, the crime-fighting mutt, is really no more than a mere tool for breeding mental disorders into today's youth. By establishing unwavering truths that are not founded in reason, McGruff has done a major disservice to the future of our country. He is dangerous and must be stopped. We need to get Bob Barker on this pious pooch. This fear-breeding begins right on the cover of the comic. The list of topics includes guns, bullies, drugs, alcohol and the contemporary danger - the Internet. With each story, McGruff's nephew Scruff and his friends are presented with a different situation, and Scruff mentally consults his uncle in a spatial, imaginary thought bubble. Scruff chooses the inevitable "right," and happiness ensues. I'm all for warning the youth of today about the dangers of society. But McGruff instills fear rather than critical thinking skills. There are no counterarguments made, only blanket statements disguised as empirical truths. For example, in the section about drugs and alcohol, McGruff uses the powers of telepathy to inform Scruff that "Smoking cigarettes is like licking an ashtray. Alcohol can make you drunk ... and sick. And think of your parents. Do you want to let them down?" You can just see the accusatory finger wagging in your face while reading the words. It's this kind of zealous dogmatic teaching that caused my neurosis and high anxiety. Now I'm a goddamned bed-wetting overachiever with so many psychological disorders I make the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders look like Cliffs Notes. If we want to protect children from the dangers we've created, we must be frank. To protect the innocence of a child, some innocence must be lost. To tell a youth that bad people exist who do bad things for no reason is honest. To instill unnecessary fear by preaching that there exists a supreme right and wrong is narrow-minded. I love cartoon spokesmen just as much as the next guy. But I'm sorry, McGruff. Next time you feel like taking a bite out of crime, I have a suggestion for you: Bite me. - --- MAP posted-by: Larry Seguin