Pubdate: Mon, 15 Mar 2004 Source: Parklander, The (CN AB) Copyright: 2004 Hinton Parklander Contact: http://www.hintonparklander.com Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/782 Author: Jodi Dolinsky Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/meth.htm (Methamphetamine) A RAW DEAL FOR EVERYONE A Reformed Meth Dealer From Hinton Speaks About The Community Wide Impact Of His Former Life Hinton Parklander - I showed up a bit early at the neutral meeting spot, which had been chosen for my next interview: a question and answer period with a reformed meth dealer. All I had been told was that this reformed dealer was a man, in his early thirties, and his name was Richard. As I waited I felt nervous. After all I had only received the call that morning that the interview I had been waiting for was available, that afternoon. I wasn't as prepared as I would have liked to have been, but how do you prepare to ask someone to explain maybe the most regrettable moments of his or her life? Who is a drug dealer? I started to imagine this person about to arrive. This man only one year younger than I. I thought he would be outgoing and arrogant, someone who would seek out his clients and pressure them to use the drugs he sold. I wondered how someone my age could end up with such a drastically different life than me. Finally Richard arrived. He seemed quiet and hesitant. Not at all the outspoken individual I had anticipated. We sat uncomfortably at a small conference table in a silent office. As I fumbled through the first of the many questions I had, Richard answered guardedly, recanting his childhood and his difficult transition into his teens. A user First alcohol and marijuana were Richard's substances of choice as a teen. Despite remaining close to his family he began to drink heavily and use pot and hash on a regular basis to deal with his own issues. The drug use began to affect his schooling and other areas of his life. Then one day Richard began selling drugs. Magic mushrooms, hash and marijuana made up his inventory. The selling of drugs gave Richard an income, an income difficult for him to earn working a regular job. An ethical dealer? As I listened to Richard talk I started to think about everyday people who are out for the quick buck. I, for one, am guilty of buying lottery tickets hoping for the big payoff. Selling drugs was Richard's means of earning a quick buck. His reputation as a dealer spread due to his practice of selling "clean" drugs. The substances he sold were not laced with more potent, more addictive drugs: a practice in which some less scrupulous dealers are involved. Richard's clients came to him. He never went out looking for clients, as I had assumed, as word of mouth made his products popular and his business lucrative. One time and you're hooked For many years Richard abused alcohol, pot and hash, supporting his habit with the proceeds of the business. It wasn't until he was in his early twenties, however, that he got involved with meth. He sold meth for the first time to help a buddy out, as a one-time deal, but the profit margin from the sale was too good to pass up and he began selling meth on a regular basis. "I got addicted to the money," he said. The entrepreneurial mind "The business was a way of life to me," said Richard. His business, like most home-based businesses, saw him buying product at a certain rate and selling it for a profit. Richard bought from his own dealers, who would offer him incentives to sell greater volumes of product. The number of meth users who used Richard as their supplier grew, and they would come to his house any hour of the day. Still drinking heavily, in an ironic twist, he tried meth for the first time in an effort to stay awake to service his clients, not for a pleasurable high. Not just a dealer Now a meth user, Richard continued to sell the drugs, including meth, for the money to support his habit and his family - a wife and children. But, he never realized that he was addicted to meth. He didn't socialize with other meth users, only seeing other addicts when they came to purchase the substance. People close to him tried to make him aware of his addiction, but it took the long arms of the law to make an initial impact. A short pause A run in with the law would put Richard behind bars for a number of months. By the end of his incarceration he was off of drugs completely. He thought he could stay clean, but soon missed the high and started using and dealing again. It took issues regarding his family to get him into rehab to try to kick the habit again. He was successful, but soon found that his reputation as a dealer prevented him from being hired for honest employment. In his boredom he begrudgingly began using again, but this time he was not dealing. Richard believed he could use meth recreationally this time, but he found he needed to use more of the drug to remain high. He returned to using habitually, and continued to use for many years. Something more powerful Despite his addiction Richard's love of his family was always important to him. One incident, the details of which cannot be shared, prompted Richard to seek out help for his addiction the last time. He has been successful in staying clean, but admits he can still be tempted. He credits his family as his motivation to staying clean, and acknowledges his mother as the person who saved his life. If not for her unwavering support Richard believes he would not be here to share his story. Richard's message Richard believes that parents need to be more informed and must educate their children regarding substance use and abuse. For parents already dealing with children involved with drugs he pleads for them to not give up. He is not proud of what he did, but quickly points out that for every drug dealer who quits dealing, there are many people waiting to take their place. The problem is not easily fixed. Fiction vs. Reality Like a fly on the wall I was allowed a view of the meth industry many of us will never encounter first hand. A reassessment of my reformed drug dealer would produce not the arrogant, outgoing individual I anticipated, but a person who used questionable means to find an end. Richard is a person who is, in fact, shy and soft-spoken. Is he to be forgiven for what he has done? That's up to the individual. Can we blame drug addiction on him and other dealers? Also debatable, as Richard explained how as long as there are users there will be people willing to sell drugs to earn the "quick buck", and for every dealer who quits selling there are many more waiting in the wings to take their place. It is the chicken and the egg syndrome all over again - users keep dealers in business, while dealers keep users supplied. Final word Richard and other reformed meth users are working with the Hinton Drug Action Committee in identifying what Hinton needs to do in dealing with the meth problem in this community. *The name in this article has been changed to protect the identity of our source. The Hinton Drug Action Committee and the Hinton Parklander would like to thank Richard for sharing his story in an effort to help others whose lives have been effected by meth. - --- MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom