Pubdate: Wed, 17 Mar 2004
Source: Gary Post-Tribune, The (IN)
Copyright: 2004 Post-Tribune Publishing
Contact:  http://www.post-trib.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/827
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/heroin.htm (Heroin)
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/find?132 (Heroin Overdose)

ONE MAN'S STRUGGLE TO GET A HANDLE ON HEROIN

In the throes of his own addiction, while heroin coursed through his
body, Justin Conover did CPR at least eight times on friends who were
overdosing next to him.

At the time, none of them died.

"If you catch it fast enough ... I just happened to be right there,"
Conover said.

Conover admits that he struggles daily with his heroin
addiction.

Today, he speaks while dressed in a an orange Porter County Jail
jumpsuit. He was arrested on theft charges he won't discuss for fear
it will jeopardize his court case.

But he is willing to discuss the snares of his addiction in hopes it
might make others think about their own choices.

Conover, 24, counts on his fingers. Six, maybe seven of the friends he
grew up with are dead.

All from heroin.

"Hopefully, they're in a better place. They're not being judged by
their actions," Conover said.

When Conover started using the drug in 1997, heroin was something most
Porter County parents didn't discuss and certainly didn't believe
loomed over the heads of their children.

He tried pot at age 13 and he hung with an older crowd.

"You just never think it's going to happen to you," he said. "By
drinking, smoking weed and taking acid. I never thought I'd get
addicted to heroin."

He did.

At 17, he injured his shoulder. A physician prescribed something for
the pain and when it ran out, Conover turned to heroin.

"I was just craving the opiate," he said.

At its peak, Conover's habit cost him between $450 and $500 per day.
He got his heroin from Chicago.

Stealing. Selling dope. He did whatever he needed to do to maintain
his fix, Conover said.

Conover knows that other young people his age are finishing up college
and starting families.

He has dreams of his own of working in construction.

And he is painfully cognizant of the grief he's caused his
family.

Conover was an average kid from an average, loving family who attended
Valparaiso High School.

In school, his grades were average to better than average.

"I can see the pain in my mother's and father's eyes," he
said.

One of his motivations for getting better is so they won't witness
seeing him in a morgue.

"I don't want my family to see me on a slab when it could have been
prevented," he said. "I don't want them to see that."

As a teenager in the grip of his addiction, he knew what he was doing,
but he couldn't stop.

"That just leads to more guilt," he said. "The only way to chase away
the guilt is to use more."

"You don't think about the consequences until you're caught," Conover
said.

He believes that if the consequences were laid out for him early, if
they were thrust in his face, he may have made other choices.

"If I could have come on a tour of the prison and seen what it was
like or if I could have talked to someone dealing with addiction,"
Conover said. "That's what I recommend for kids."

Conover has been in and out of drug rehab four or five
times.

He isn't certain that the men's residential treatment facility, the
Community Action Drug Coalition has proposed, would have worked for
him.

"I don't really know. I've been a couple places for rehab, just not
here," he said. "I'm not saying it wouldn't help anybody."

But he also thinks that education and treatment is key - not jail
time.

"People get felony records, and they can't get good jobs if they
decide to straighten out their lives," Conover said.

He's been arrested several times as well.

He tried kicking the habit through a methadone clinic.

Last year a judge ordered him to a drug program and Conover said he
believes he finally got the message.

"Every choice that I make is going to lead me to it or lead me away
from it," he said.

Does he now have his addiction under control?

"That's a day-to-day question. It's not something I can predict," he
said. "Sometimes it's moment to moment."

"I feel like I'm on the road to abstinence. I'm abstaining from using
- - choosing not to do it."

Asked if there is anything in particular people should consider
before using drugs, Conover does not hesitate in answering, "The
winners of addiction go on to lead lives, but the losers go on to
wear shackles and chains - or they're dead."
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MAP posted-by: Richard Lake