Pubdate: Mon, 28 Jun 2004 Source: Surrey Now (CN BC) Copyright: 2004 Lower Mainland Publishing Group Inc., A Canwest Company Contact: http://www.thenownewspaper.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1462 Author: Marisa Babic Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/coke.htm (Cocaine) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/rehab.htm (Treatment) AGAINST ALL ODDS Tiffany Martin entered her teens leading a charmed life. Her father, a postal worker, and her mother, a home care support worker, both made good money and were able to create a comfortable middle-class lifestyle for their small, very close family. They lived in a nice Surrey neighbourhood in a five-bedroom rancher with an in-ground pool and a hot tub. As an only child, Tiffany's parents could afford to splurge on her and indulge her whims. There were swimming and saxophone lessons, parties, meals in restaurants, lots of friends and all the clothes a teenage girl could want. "If a saw something I liked I would just get it," says Tiffany, now 17. But Tiffany's secure and cozy world came to a crashing halt soon after she entered Grade 9 at L.A. Matheson secondary school and her 40-year-old father became hooked on drugs - crack cocaine. As she tells her story, Tiffany still struggles with her family's misfortune and her father's descent into drug addiction. Four years ago, her father was working nights at Canada Post and Tiffany didn't see him much. On the weekends, though, she began noticing changes. Her father, a classic car buff, was beginning to spend more time in the garage. Even on the hottest days of summer, the garage door remained closed. She began noticing other "weird" things about his behaviour. An introvert, her father had suddenly turned into an extrovert. He became more social and talkative and began performing chores around the house with amazing speed. Then one day, Tiffany's mom, Sandra, found a small plastic bag filled with a suspicious white powder in the house. Shocked and stunned by her discovery, Sandra gave her husband an ultimatum - clean up and seek help in 10 days or she and Tiffany are walking. Twenty days before Christmas, Tiffany and her mom packed up a few pieces of clothing and other essentials and moved into an apartment, where, it turned out, the only other working woman on their floor was a prostitute. Tiffany still has trouble understanding why her father chose to take drugs. "It was really depressing because he had such a good life, like, why would he want to do this?" she wonders. "I was angry that he would choose the drugs over our family." Her feelings of anger and betrayal grew deeper and she began to withdraw. Her father's drug addiction became a source of shame and her grades started falling. "I stopped doing homework. I'd just go home and loaf around the house. I joined Scouts to get my mind off things. I went camping, or I'd just sleep. I'd go to a friend's house to try and forget what was happening, kind of hide it." As rumours about her family spread in school, Tiffany became more withdrawn and isolated and began cutting classes. Some of her friends dropped her and she was forced to endure the cruelty of some of her school mates. "They were saying things, like, 'Oh, you live in a crackhouse. Your dad's a crackhead' and stuff. Or they'd come up to me and say, 'Hey, how come you don't live in that house anymore, I was just at your house buying drugs'," she says. "We were known as the crack shack because people who would do crack cocaine and drugs, that's where they would go." Perhaps Tiffany's lowest point came the following Father's Day. Tiffany and her mom prepared a special meal and waited for her father to arrive but he never showed. "I shouldn't have expected him to come," Tiffany says as tears well up in her eyes. "I wrote a letter saying, 'Too bad you didn't come for dinner...'" she continues, but breaks down. Tiffany put together a parcel for him, which included a pack of cigarettes and some money for drugs: "all the things you love more than me." "She asked me to deliver it to him," says Sandra. "It was heartbreaking." The unusual gift may have been a turning point for her father. Soon after, he checked into a recovery house for the third time and has been clean now for 22 months. His struggle for recovery eased Tiffany's burden, too. She had to repeat Grade 9 English and science, which she had failed but with the support of mom, teachers and others in the community, Tiffany made the honour roll in Grade 11 and this month, Tiffany graduated from high school. At first, she didn't want to go to her graduation party. "I didn't want to go because of everything that happened. I still didn't have that many friends in the school and I didn't have the money to buy a nice, expensive dress." She doesn't regret her change of heart. "It was so much fun. Words can't even describe what it was like. It was so amazing," she says, smiling. Principal Joe Fabiano says Tiffany's courage and perseverance should serve as an inspiration to others. "With perseverance, it's just amazing sometimes what these kids can actually deal with and survive." Tiffany says she has mostly forgiven her father for all the pain and turmoil he put everyone through and they are working on mending their broken relationship. She's still haunted by painful memories but says you just have to move on. In a strange way, her father has been an inspiration to her in her emotional recovery. "He learned to trust people in the recovery houses to help him get better so I thought if he can do it and let people into his life then maybe I could do it," she says. Despite the scars, Tiffany's journey to overcome adversity has been one of self-discovery. "I learned that everyone goes through something, everyone has their problems but if you work together as a family, you can get through it. You can't blame people for the things that have happened, it's really no one's fault, yet in the end, it means you're a stronger person." - --- MAP posted-by: Larry Seguin