Pubdate: Fri, 08 Jul 2005 Source: Hanover Post, The (CN ON) Copyright: 2005, Osprey Media Group Inc. Contact: http://www.thepost.on.ca Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/2612 Author: Lori Gillespie Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/youth.htm (Youth) 'LOVE DOESN'T CHANGE WHEN YOUR KID IS ON DRUGS' HANOVER -- Six parents sit in a local home, sipping lemonade, with the appearance of a casual visit. But there's nothing casual about this meeting -- it's all about offering support, a kind shoulder to cry on and an understanding ear to listen to the heart wrenching stories that are all too familiar to each of them. This past spring, a local couple began a support group for parents whose children have become addicted to crystal meth. This couple have been through hell with their son, but they've got a story of hope for parents going through similar problems. Their kid got help, and is in the process of cleaning up his life. The Post sat in on a meeting of this support group, and agreed to protect the identities of the parents and their children. In a small community, these parents already feel the pressure of a stigma attached to what their families have gone through. Previously friendly neighbours have stopped speaking to them, they notice stares and murmurs when they're out in public. But, they each point out, the only difference between them and the others who are pointing fingers at them, is that their kid got hooked. No family, they point out, is safe. "You live in a small town and you think it's a safe environment. That's not true. You can't let your guard down," says one parent. "You can't let your kids go out at night, alone. It's no different than in the city." The first family is able to say that there is hope. After hitting rock bottom a couple years ago, he was convinced to go to a drug and alcohol rehabilitation centre in London, Ontario. "It turned his whole mindset around," says his father. "It was a sad day, but also happy (when he entered rehab)." The son graduated from the program, but stayed on to act as a mentor to others in the program. His father says he doesn't want to return to the community, because he is afraid of running into old friends -- and old habits. "We thought it was just alcohol and marijuana," the father says. But the son recently admitted to his parents that he was on crystal meth. "He had such a bad temper . . . he was too violent to just be on weed." But his parents didn't know anything about crystal meth. "It was seven years of hell. We were afraid to leave the house, afraid that someone would break into the house." All of the parents in this room agree that there are not enough social services available to help deal with this addiction. And there is not enough money provided to the services that do exist. "They need a place to go now," says one mother. But there are long waiting lists. "They can't wait until next week, or three weeks from now . . . they won't want to go then. If they decide they want to get help now, there needs to be a place for them to go." And, one parent notes, with crystal meth, counselling alone won't work. Detox is required. An 18-year-old daughter of one of the parents in the room started doing drugs early in high school. They found out last fall that she was abusing crystal meth. "She was clean for a while, but got mad at me and went back to it," her mother says. "They usually blame the mother." Another parent tells of a son, 21, who still lives at home. "He thinks he's untouchable," the parent says. "He's lost his job, and he's living at home. When he sleeps, you can't wake him up. He's so thin . . . it's a constant battle in the house, but he doesn't care." Another parent says a list of signs of a person on drugs should be given to every parent. He first noticed his son's weight loss, losing 20 pounds in about two weeks. "He ate like a horse, I thought it was cancer," he says. It was still months before he realized what was going on with his son. He began to notice purple marks on the son's face, mood swings, vulgar language, very dilated eyes. It's a nightmare that these parents don't talk about, except within this support group, where there are people who've already been through it. "I'm so glad for a group like this," says a mother. "I could have been an enabler, but here I've learned about 'tough love.'" Talking to others who've either been through these horrors already, or are in the middle of the nightmare, can help a parent to deal with the situation at home. As they know, it's difficult to understand, unless you've been through it. One mother put her feelings on paper, sent to The Post: "Every day I wake up with a knot in my stomach and a heart that feels like lead. My child's drug problem is the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I go to bed. Don't worry about your children getting drugs on the streets or at parties. Just send them to school -- it's readily available there. The school called me when my child skipped a class, but never notified me that my child was suspended for smoking pot on a school trip." The letter continues, "And now I learn that my child has graduated from pot to crystal meth. My child has had some counselling, but when they are over 18 you can do nothing without their consent. I cannot get my child help until my child realizes they need help and actually wants to quit. I feel like my child is walking along a cliff, ready to go over at any time. My child is getting thinner and I can sometimes see the grey look of death on their face. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve so I try to appear normal to friends and coworkers - -- they don't know at times I am screaming inside." What keeps these parents going? What makes some allow their son or daughter to remain living in their home? One mother sums it up: "Think of your child, and how much you love them, and would do anything to protect them and help them. That love doesn't change when your child is on drugs." There is, indeed, an emotional cost when a child is addicted to drugs. But there are other costs. The financial cost can include theft of possessions, repairing the home from violent damage, and when the child decides they want help, rehabilitation is costly, too. Siblings living in the home pay a cost, too. "You focus on the bad kid, and the others get neglected," says one mom. "You're lucky you don't get divorced," says another parent. "You blame each other, and you fight over whether to kick the kid out." The support group offers just that, support, but there are few answers given. Nobody has the answers, and each case is different. But the support goes a long way, they all agree. "It's worse than losing a kid," says a father. "You watch them kill themselves slowly, and there's not a thing you can do. It's a living nightmare. You go to bed thinking about where they are and what they're doing, and you're afraid of getting that call in the middle of the night." - --- MAP posted-by: Beth