Pubdate: Fri, 21 Jan 2005 Source: Salem News (MA) Copyright: 2005 Essex County Newspapers Contact: http://www.salemnews.com Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/3466 Author: Sandra Kaplan Referenced: Series http://www.mapinc.org/source/salem+news ONE MOTHER TELLS HER STORY To the Editor: I just finished reading your articles on drugs and drug addiction. You wrote wonderful stories, unfortunately sad, but true. I, too, have a daughter who is addicted to drugs and is struggling to keep herself clean. I found out recently that she had started to use drugs about five years ago, about the time her father and I were divorcing. I never realized the pain she was going through during that time period. I think all she wanted was to know she was loved and needed in my life, but I was blind to her needs at that time. I remarried about two years later when my daughter was 18 years old. She never really accepted my husband and they clashed terribly. It was a horrible mess trying to keep her in my life as well as my marriage from not falling apart. I didn't even know she was doing drugs at that time. Boy, was I stupid. I now blame myself partly for where she is in her life right now. I wish I could go back in time. I was blind as most parents are in the beginning. We do not want to believe "our kids are doing drugs." My daughter graduated from Winthrop High and then we moved to Peabody. From that time on, all hell broke loose and I was losing my daughter to drugs. But again, I was blind and kept thinking it would pass and everything would be all right again. April of 2004, she came to me asking for help. I made several calls and she was put into the Bayridge facility in Lynn for five days of detox and then was supposed to attend outpatient classes daily. I really thought this was it. She was cured and going to be drug-free forever. She only attended the classes for about three days. There she met a boy who had been addicted to heroin and had no intention of quitting at that time. He only went into treatment because his parents made him go. Her lies, stealing and mood swings were enough to tell me she was in serious trouble and was headed for disaster. She had two close girlfriends who were also addicted to those OxyContins, and all three of them stole whatever they could from whomever they could, never realizing the pain their parents were going through. My daughter came to me again on June 21, the day after Father's Day, and told me she needed to go into treatment that very day or she would not make it through the day. Again, I made several calls and finally found someone from CAB (Center for Addictive Behavior) to help us. I called a Lynn phone number but somehow, with the luck from God above, my call reached Boca Raton, Fla., and a young man listened to my story and offered us help. He checked our medical insurance and asked if my daughter was willing to go to Florida for treatment. Of course she was and a plane ticket was waiting for her at the Delta counter at 6 p.m. that very day. I was in touch with this facility every step of the way until she landed in Fort Lauderdale where a limo picked her up and took her to a place called The Watershed in Boca Raton. For the first few days of her treatment, I had no contact with her, which killed me not knowing how she was doing. I finally got a call from her and she was so happy she was there because she really wanted help. With the help of well-trained staff and counseling, my daughter was beginning to see past the drugs and looking toward a brighter future. She was finally in the right place and heading for recovery. After 30 days and the expenditure of $37,000, my daughter was clean and sober. She then entered a halfway facility in Del Ray and was almost seven months clean. She had a great little job, attended the required meetings, and made several friends. Somehow, she got mixed up with a few of the wrong kids and relapsed. My heart was broken in a million pieces. All her hard work, all our praise and money spent to keep her on the right path gone down the drain to those horrible drugs. She had to leave the facility she was in, enter a new one for two weeks (I guess it's kind of like a punishment), and will be drug-tested in this new facility every day. She has new rules to follow and when the two weeks are up she can go back to her original facility and hopefully start the recovery process all over again. Of course, going to a new facility just cost me another $510 on top of paying her rent of $620 a month at her regular halfway facility. I don't think these kids understand the emotional and financial burden us parents are going through. I want to save her from heartache and death, but I can't. I can only guide her and stand beside her, but I can't cure her illness only she can do that for herself. I pray to God every day to keep her safe and drug-free. I seek counseling and I take self-help classes at Grace Chapel in Lexington for peace of mind. My marriage is on the rocks from all of this and my family and friends can't do enough to console me. I just want every person out there thinking of doing drugs or are actually doing drugs, that you are killing your parents and yourselves. You can get help and you can stay straight if you want to. You have to do the steps, seek out a sponsor, and don't be afraid to ask for help. There are places out there all over the country that are willing to help anyone who asks. I now pray every day that my daughter will make it this time and start her life over and look every day to a bright and happy future. I never want to receive that phone call that something terrible has happened because of the drugs. They are killers and we have to stop them now. Parents, teachers, family and friends: These kids need your help. See the signs and don't be blind like I was. You probably can save a life if you just open your hearts and care. We can't let these drugs kill any more of our children. May God bless us all. Sandra Kaplan Peabody - --- MAP posted-by: Larry Seguin