Pubdate: Fri, 21 Jan 2005
Source: Hanover Post, The (CN ON)
Copyright: 2005, Osprey Media Group Inc.
Contact:  http://www.hanoverpost.ca/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/2612
Author: Nicki Cruickshank
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/meth.htm (Methamphetamine)
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/women.htm (Women)
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/youth.htm (Youth)

"IT TICKLES YOUR BRAIN"

HANOVER -- "It ruined my life . . . if I picked it up again I would 
probably die."

A recovering drug addict in Hanover has put herself through the ringer of 
drug addiction and has paid the ultimate price -- a shattered life.

The issue of drug use, particularly methamphetamines, in Hanover has 
officers of the Hanover Police Service very concerned, as the substance use 
has grown significantly over time.

Sergeant Ron Shaidle says police have really noticed a definite increase in 
methamphetamine use in town.

"Over the past two years, there's been a significant increase," says Shaidle.

"The biggest concern is that the people taking this drug are unpredictable. 
They are extremely strong . . . they are prone to more violent acts when 
they're on these drugs," Shaidle explains. "Methamphetamines, it seems to 
be a drug that has a very serious impact on the people who use it."

As well, Shaidle says, officer safety is an issue when trying to deal with 
or arrest addicts on methamphetamines.

According to police, not only have there been cases of arrests for people 
taking the drug, but there have been domestic assault cases investigated 
that involve methamphetamines.

Just hearing about the effects and dangers of drugs or learning about drugs 
in school is enough to keep many people from ever taking them.

However, only those who have allowed themselves to be hooked on harsh drugs 
and lose control over their lives can truly understand how drugs can 
completely diminish one's self and destroy one's life.

Liz Thorton is a 33-year-old Hanover woman with a long history of drug use. 
Thorton knows all too well the long and short term effects of drugs and 
chemicals on one's body, and regrets the way her addictions have torn her 
life apart.

Liz Thorton is not this woman's real name. For the sake of telling her 
story, an assumed name has been used to protect her identity. This was also 
requested by the Hanover Police Service.

Thorton says she has used several kinds of drugs throughout her life, but 
the most recent and most serious addiction was with methamphetamines, more 
commonly known as crystal meth or speed.

Methamphetamines come in forms of rock-like crystals, crushed powder, and 
capsules or tablets. The drug can be taken orally, with a needle, snorted 
up the nasal passage, or smoked from a flat surface using a straw or pen tube.

Thorton says using methamphetamines came after many years of partying and 
abusing other substances.

"My first addiction was alcohol, and it was a problem," she says. She began 
consuming large amounts of alcohol and smoking marijuana as a young 
teenager. In 1989, at age 18, Thorton became pregnant. She had a son.

She left the father and, after her son was born, she left her son with her 
parents and ran off with a new man.

When she eventually returned, her son didn't know her at all.

Thorton says there was a simple reason that led her to drugs. "Because I'd 
been around drugs all my (young) life."

Thorton then met another man, whom she married and lived with, drug-free, 
for five years. After five years, the couple began partying and fell back 
into substance abuse. Thorton lost a well-paying job in Hanover because of 
her drug use, and soon became pregnant with her second child.

Thorton and her husband separated before her second son was born, and then 
reunited long enough for Thorton to conceive child number three, a daughter.

At age 20, Thorton began using cocaine, banging (using) the drug with needles.

"Man did I love it," Thorton says.

She used cocaine for about a month, and then discovered the one drug that 
gave her the most powerful high -- crystal meth.

Thorton began taking speed in 2000, when she says she went "freedom crazy," 
away from her controlling husband. She remembers starting off by snorting 
small amounts of the drug every so often. Before long, she began doing 
bigger lines of crushed speed and hung out at parties with heavy drug users.

"I'd been doing crystal meth for about a year and then started banging the 
drug (using needles)," explains Thorton.

She says there are a few positive reasons she took speed. There was a 
feeling of a sense of confidence in herself, as she was a person with no 
self esteem, without the drug.

"(You feel) you can do anything," Thorton says of the effects of the drug.

There are, however, countless negative effects of taking speed, many of 
them uncontrollable. Depriving one's body is one.

"You get stupid and you stay up for days, with no food, no sleep, because 
you don't need it," Thorton says.

As well, Thorton says, speed causes you to hallucinate and become paranoid. 
Speed users also can act too carefree, and don't believe there's anything 
wrong with them or what they're doing while on the drug.

"I can see myself walking down the street, clapping my hands and acting 
like an idiot," Thorton says. "I'd definitely describe it as a mind drug . 
. . it tickles your brain."

Thorton also remembers feeling overheated after banging speed, and randomly 
taking her clothes off while walking down the street.

Thorton also recalls breaking out into sweats after taking speed, being 
overcome by fits of anger, and even developing a constant picking problem 
where she would pick at carpet or even pick at her own skin until she left 
scrapes and sores.

As she describes the drug and its effects, it's clear to see the effects 
the drug has had on Thorton. Marks on her face show signs of the incessant 
picking, and she is unable to remain seated for more than a few minutes 
during the interview, without fidgeting or getting up to do something.

She complains of always feeling very tired.

But Thorton insists there are a few positive aspects to taking speed.

Perhaps the most negative effect speed and other drugs have had on 
Thorton's life is the loss of her three children. Thorton's drug habits 
took a large toll on her parenting, often leaving the children to find 
their own food in the house, and even dress themselves, often with dirty 
clothes found in the laundry.

The memory of the past state of her children brings tears of guilt to 
Thorton's eyes.

"My kids . . . my beautiful kids, they were troopers," sobs Thorton. "I 
miss my kids a lot."

Thorton's family stepped in to fix the situation for her children, but she 
says she had terrible feelings against them.

"(I was) angry and frustrated at my aunt and uncle because they were the 
ones who called the Children's Aid Society," says Thorton.

Her three children were taken out of her care and were put with their 
father by the Children's Aid Society, because she was deemed an unfit 
mother. And aside from losing her children, Thorton lost the respect of her 
parents and family.

"It just about killed my mom and dad . . . my dad still doesn't trust me," 
says Thorton. "It takes a long time to regain that."

Since that time, Thorton has been arrested, charged and jailed several 
times for her drug use. She remembers being searched and police finding 
needles, spoons, baggies of drugs and viles of water for mixing the speed 
for needle intake.

Thorton remembers her times in jail, and being away from her family around 
the holidays.

"I was talking to my kids at Christmas when I was in jail," says Thorton.

She lived on the streets around Hanover after being released from jail the 
last time. She was taken in by a man who is now her roommate and landlord. 
Thorton helps around the house in exchange for food and a roof over her head.

Thorton insists she has been clean from speed since September 2004, and 
decided after getting out of jail that she no longer wants to take the drug.

Thorton describes her fears of the drug now, realizing how much of her life 
has been ruined by speed and other drugs. A major realization came in a 
sober moment, when she began noticing the appearance of others who are on 
the drug.

Thorton has noticed that some of her young relatives and friends seem to 
have symptoms of being on speed, which scares her.

Thorton wants to see her children more often, now that she believes she 
will stay off drugs. Since June, she has spent a total of 20 minutes with 
her kids, because she had no desire to see them when she was on speed.

But now Thorton wants to make the effort to see her children.

Looking back on her drug addiction, Thorton says if she could turn back 
time she'd never have taken speed.

"Knowing what I know today and what I feel, I would think not," she says.

She hopes other young people will take something from her story and will 
think twice about taking drugs.

"Hopefully they'll pick up enough (information) that they'll think hey, 
this stuff can kill me," Thorton says. "Do you want to live? Because if you 
want to live, don't take it. It will suck you down . . . I don't care how 
long it takes, it will kill you." 
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