Pubdate: Tue, 06 Sep 2005 Source: New York Times (NY) Copyright: 2005 The New York Times Company Contact: http://www.nytimes.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/298 Author: Michelle O'Donnell Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/coke.htm (Cocaine) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/testing.htm (Drug Test) TRAUMATIZED BY 9/11, FIRED OVER DRUG RULE If anyone seemed an able candidate for the harrowing recovery work at ground zero, it was Firefighter Tom Kelly, a former marine and sandhog who had spent most of his 14-year career pulling people out of fires and accidents. But at the site, where he logged long hours, he rescued no one. A face, an arm, a leg, a scalp with hair, shoes with feet in them, a headless body. Those were some of the remains that Firefighter Kelly found, and in the months that followed, he said, they kept finding him. Overwhelmed with death, he rarely slept. When he did, he often awoke to nightmares, still swatting at the maggots he dreamt were on his face and helmet. He became depressed and suicidal and began to engage in risky behavior, including, he said, the occasional use of cocaine. In January, he failed a random test at his firehouse in Queens and was suspended. He is now slated to be fired, ending his career and, under civil service law, forfeiting his pension. "What man in his right mind would ignore the warnings?" Firefighter Kelly wrote earlier this year in a journal. "And the answer to me is, nobody in their right mind would do that." Firefighter Kelly, who was found to have post-traumatic stress disorder in February by a psychiatrist at Safe Horizon, a nonprofit treatment center, acknowledges that much of his problem was of his own making. But friends and co-workers say they consider him one of the latent casualties of 9/11, a rescue worker whose inability to process the horrors of what he saw on his job ran counter to the Fire Department's zero tolerance policy on drug use. That policy was tightened after a spike in reported substance abuse within the department's ranks after 9/11 and a series of embarrassing incidents, including an accident last year in which the driver of a fire truck was found to have had cocaine in his system. (An administrative judge recommended that the charges be dismissed on the grounds that the accident was too minor to justify a cocaine test.) The policy stipulates that firefighters caught once using drugs are fired unless they have come forward to report their problem. The Fire Department says the policy, and a decision last year to do random testing, are sensible, necessary measures to protect the safety of other firefighters and the public. The department says most of the 49 firefighters who have been fired, or are slated for firing, for drug and alcohol problems in the past two years have been young firefighters who were not working for the department in September 2001. But several of those caught have been veteran firefighters, viewed by many in the department as solid workers with no prior disciplinary problems and whose drug use may have been related to the trauma of 9/11. One is a 10-year veteran from Lower Manhattan who on the morning of Sept. 11 dodged falling bodies to help set up a command post in the north tower lobby. Another is a firefighter from a battalion that lost an entire company of men that day. On Sept. 12 three years later, a day after the memorials to the 2,749 who died, he contacted the department's counseling unit, seeking help for a growing drug problem. Told he had to enroll in a residential counseling program, he balked. The next day he was caught in a random drug test and, after 19 years, he was dismissed last October. Fire officials say that that after more than 2,000 random drug tests, the small number of firefighters who have failed is an indication that the policy is a reasonable one that all but a few have been able to comply with. "There was a consensus," said Francis X. Gribbon, a spokesman for the department, "that drug use had no place in an occupation that is so dangerous." But mental health professionals question whether it was wise to make the policy stricter at a time when the department was facing a possible surge in substance abuse. "As an outsider, this one-shot policy strikes me as a little extreme," said Dr. James Pennebaker, a social psychologist at the University of Texas who studies how people cope with trauma. "Somehow, we view mental health as totally under a person's control, whereas physical health is not." In Oklahoma City, after the 1995 bombing, one study found that firefighters who drank began to drink more heavily as they struggled to deal with their anguish, although city officials there do not believe that the number of substance abusers actually increased. The city resisted enacting a zero tolerance policy even as it upgraded its counseling efforts. "The whole policy was put in place to help our folks," said Maj. Kim Woodring, a human resources supervisor for the Oklahoma City Fire Department. "The whole basis of the policy was to try to get our employees to be productive employees." Zero tolerance works, officials say, because it is a bracing deterrent to those who do not take the prohibition seriously. After the volunteer Army adopted such a policy in 1980, alcohol and drug abuse in the military decreased considerably, said Dr. Ronald Rosenheck, the director of the Veterans Administration Northeast Program Evaluation Center. "As in so many areas of public policy, it's a matter of balancing the well-being of the individual against the well-being of the public," Dr. Rosenheck said. "And it's clear that the Fire Department's position, sticking to the no-tolerance policy, comes down on the side of their responsibility to the public." In New York, in the years before 9/11, fire officials did not strictly enforce the zero tolerance policy, which had been adopted in 1996. In 1999, for example, not one of the 32 firefighters charged with alcohol or drug violations was fired. Firefighters say the leniency was particularly apparent in the weeks after 9/11, when they said officials seemed to recognize the toll taken by the deaths of 343 department members and the long hours spent at the site and attending funerals. But as the number of incidents involving alcohol and drugs began to climb, Fire Commissioner Nicholas Scoppetta said he became concerned about the uneven application of discipline and announced in April 2002 that the department would strictly enforce the zero tolerance policy. Critics say the department uses the policy to get rid of troubled firefighters without considering whether the substance abuse they suffer from may directly stem from their experiences on the job. "They have all this talk about rebuilding the department," said Stephen Cassidy, the president of the firefighters' union, "but the truth of the matter is they are willing to throw guys aside." In the months following 9/11, the department made a historic outreach, bringing in hundreds of counselors and volunteers to work with its wounded force. Though some firefighters have complained that the efforts fell short, there seems little question that much more counseling has been done. The agency's counseling unit now sees about 500 firefighters a month, or 10 times the number before September 2001. Many of the new cases are firefighters coming forward to report problems with drugs and alcohol. Before 9/11, counselors typically saw 180 firefighters a year who were suffering from alcohol and drug abuse, both new and old cases. In 2004 alone, the department opened up 185 new cases, and by last month it was treating a total of 723 firefighters for substance abuse. Dr. Rachel Yehuda, the director of the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder program at the Bronx Veterans Administration Hospital, said many rescue workers resisted counseling early on because it was contrary to the image of strength associated with firefighting. As adults, she said, they should be held responsible to seek the help they need. Dr. Rosenheck said if the department adjusted its policy to one with more discretion, it would be taking on the unenviable task of distinguishing between those whose drug use really did spring from the trauma of 9/11 and others who might be using the misery of the day as an excuse. Still, Dr. Yehuda said, drug abuse is a treatable problem and one that argues for an approach that gives employees a second chance. If Firefighter Kelly had come forward to report his problem, he could have saved his job, under the city's policy. Yet this opportunity is not taken by some firefighters, according to private counselors who report seeing firefighters who pay for their own treatment because they do not trust the department to keep their problem a secret. Firefighter Kelly said he did not feel comfortable opening up to the counselors he was assigned to see after working at ground zero. He said he did not think they could understand what he was going through. The remains were haunting him, he said, first at the site, where he encountered them as he sifted through debris, and later at home, where he could not escape what he had seen. During one shift, about 4 a.m., after finding additional body pieces, Firefighter Kelly said he alerted a supervisor. The supervisor began asking him a series of questions: Name? Rank? Badge number? The information was used to tag the remains with the identity of the person who had found them, quite possibly the only identifying markers they might ever have. "Is this in case we go nuts a few years from now?" Firefighter Kelly asked. There was no reply, he said. Firefighter Kelly said he felt anxiety and guilt. He had lived. Others close to him had died, including three lifelong friends. A co-worker, Firefighter John Hegeman, said he saw a transformation in Firefighter Kelly during that period, though he did not know about any drug use. He said Firefighter Kelly had been known as the General, a no-nonsense man who barked commands. Now, Firefighter Hegeman recalled, he could be brought to tears by firehouse teasing. In 2003, Firefighter Kelly stunned co-workers by leaving Engine Company 281, his busy unit in East Flatbush, for one with less fire duty in the Rockaways. There, he said, he spent hours on the roof, scanning the skies for incoming planes or smoke over the other boroughs. "I was shocked," Firefighter Hegeman said. "Nobody transfers out of our firehouse - no one." Firefighter Kelly said simply, "I didn't want to be around any more dead people - people who burned to death, got shot to death, fell off a roof, car accidents, suicides, dead babies, crib death or by parents rolling over and killing them." In January, he tested positive, was suspended and was given a desk job at a cubicle, where he had little to do but dwell on what he had seen. As the breadwinner for five children, he said, it weighed on him that, three years from being eligible to retire with a full, lifetime pension, he was now in danger of losing it all. He said he began to view his predicament and the zero tolerance policy as deeply unfair and, despite the stigma of being viewed as a drug user, came forward to speak out about it at length. Other firefighters in similar positions declined to be interviewed, saying they viewed their drug use as a personal matter. "I did what I could for 17 years for the Fire Department," Firefighter Kelly said last Friday. "It got me into this trouble. They don't want me anymore, and under these conditions, it stinks." At the same time, he said he knew he could not blame the department entirely for his problem. "I'm trying to say," he said, "with all the humility I can, that I made a mistake." - --- MAP posted-by: Elizabeth Wehrman