Pubdate: Tue, 22 Nov 2005
Source: Fort Saskatchewan Record, The (CN AB)
Copyright: 2005 The Fort Saskatchewan Record
Contact:  http://www.fortsaskatchewanrecord.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/824

FRIENDS TO THE END

National Addictions Awareness Week, Nov. 20-26 2005

The following is a submitted story by a recovering addict.

Fort Saskatchewan Record -- All my life I've been told "If you keep 
on using drugs you will die or go to Jail"....

I never believed this or should I say I believed it too much, I at 
least had a murky idea of what this warning truly meant.

So, I soldiered on through life lying, cheating and stealing.

I hadn't a care in the world, but all the while I had this constant 
struggle with people who expected so much of me as if I had something to offer.

I always had a cherished few, that were so close to me, it was as if 
we had shared a glimpse of each other's souls.

Such good friends that we could practically read each other's minds 
and they all warned "if you keep on using drugs you will die or go to 
jail." This closeness was always there, I had it with everyone, but 
shared it with only a precious few, and I ran from it. I could not 
understand why I should know so much about people around me, that I 
could just have a simple conversation with a stranger and gain such a 
spectrum of insight into their personality. I simply wanted to live 
anonymously. I didn't want to or care to understand my life's purpose 
I didn't want to feel anything as feeling leads to acting and acting 
to making a difference and making a difference to standing for something.

I was hiding from myself, and could not grasp why I had these 
extremely strong connections with people "what was I preparing for"? 
I lived half of my life in the dark in hiding from destiny and the real world.

One day, my sister, whom I have always admired for her silent 
strength and her ability to express her wisdom, through her painting 
and writing approached me. With big tears welling up in her eyes, she 
said " I am afraid you will die or go to jail and I'm gonna grow up 
without my little brother, I want you around!" So I agreed to get 
help not for myself but stop the agony on her face from piercing my 
heart and I went to Narconon a rehabilitation center for drug addicts 
and alcoholics. While there, I had a twin, a wonderful man named 
Libero, who was unable to read or write.

I made it my goal to get him through the program and it took me an 
extra three months, but we got through it and by the end he was 
reading and writing at the sixth grade level.

For my efforts, I was offered a fulltime position with Narconon and I 
graciously accepted.

Unfortunately, I wasn't finished with drugs and alcohol and I had a 
series of rises and falls until finally I ended up back in my hometown.

Homeless, jobless, and more addicted to drugs than ever. I was living 
in my car moving from place to place I was pathetic yet, I thought I 
had the world by the tail I believed was invincible.

I developed yet another very small core of friends.

Amidst a vast network of acquaintances, who watched out for me and 
seemed to know what my next move would be before I did and again I 
was warned "If you keep on using drugs you will die or go to jail." 
But who were these people no one knows what's best for me so what if 
they know me better than I know myself.

Then one day this passed June, I was arrested and told by the 
arresting officer "You're gonna go to jail son." I was relieved, 
finally, what everyone had promised was to coming true. I was placed 
in the Remand Centre, where my family, all battled and war-torn by 
the gauntlet they ran for me, let me sit for two weeks as I sobered 
up. I didn't have the same nagging thoughts of how can I get out and 
get back on drugs.

I was a man freed from a curse, that had lasted half my life, and as 
I rose like a phoenix, from the ashes of my wasted life I was 
consumed with a need to go back to Narconon. But not for cowardly 
reasons like before, but rather because for the first time I had a 
hope that I could have a life and live it for me. So, I made bail and 
was sent back to Narconon. But, this time I made no effort to save 
every one's lives, I made no effort to be in the spotlight, as a star 
student. Rather, I tried with all of my energy to save just one 
degraded and worn-out old soul. I did not make student of the week; I 
did not achieve any glory.

I simply became my own best friend.

As usual, amongst the vast numbers of faces in the hall I gravitated 
toward a precious few with who we shared our darkest secrets and 
accepted openly our quirkiest defects of character.

As my life was different, so was this bond, I began to accept and 
understand this gift of being able to gain an unusual insight into a 
persons personality after a small amount of contact and embraced it. 
My precious few contained a set of twin brothers who have throughout 
their tolerance, kindness, and genuine strength of character have 
welcomed me into their families and shared their futures with me so 
that we all may live long healthy and safe lives together.

We have all realized that we have a strong ability to express 
ourselves and a very strong desire to ensure that others with our 
former curse don't end up in the places we've been. We have made it 
our purpose to help in any way we can to ensure they don't. It was 
strangely coincidental that we all made the decision at the same time 
to go to the same place and get our lives together.

In a very short six months we have touched each other's lives in a 
way that cannot be undone we have built success into the very fabric 
of our lives and established friendships that cannot end. It was as 
if we had a pact to meet in the next life if we hadn't managed to 
change by then. "We met and we won together, Friends to the End!"

F.C.

The authors of this story now have a business together that helps 
people suffering from addictions. Addiction Enders realizes the pain 
that families of drug addicts and alcoholics face. To contact them 
for help call Cory or Fraser at 998-2278 or 993-6401. The website is 
currently under construction but it is www.addictionenders.ca.
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MAP posted-by: Beth Wehrman