Pubdate: Tue, 17 Jan 2006 Source: Washington Post (DC) Page: B03 Copyright: 2006 The Washington Post Company Contact: http://www.washingtonpost.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/491 Author: Susan Levine, Washington Post Staff Writer Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/people/Marion+Barry Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/rehab.htm (Treatment) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/pot.htm (Cannabis) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/coke.htm (Cocaine) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/testing.htm (Drug Test) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/hallucinogens.htm (Hallucinogens) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/heroin.htm (Heroin) BESIEGED ADDICTS FIND PARALLELS IN BARRY'S PLIGHT Longtime Users Say Fight to Stay Clean Never Ends They've been there, these two men, in the low, desperate place they say an addict inevitably goes. They've lied and thieved for their highs, gotten caught, gotten jailed, struggled to stay clean and repeatedly failed. Tom Canady and James Gaither have, in essence, walked the same walk that a failed drug test indicates Marion Barry is facing once again. No one understands better the pull of cocaine, crack or heroin than a fellow addict. The same holds true of the daunting effort it takes to break away. How hard? How constant? Ask someone who succeeded -- or is still trying. "It's every day with me," said Gaither, a soft-spoken man who has been entangled in drugs for 36 of his 54 years. He's now counting six months without them, but every morning, the urge to use starts anew. "It's the situations I face on a day-to-day basis that I don't want to feel," he said, "that I don't want to deal with." Despite the vast differences between where he and Canady have gone in life and where life has taken the Ward 8 council member and two-time mayor, it is easy to connect their account of the escape that drugs provide to Barry's recent past, with its increasing health worries and federal tax troubles. After pleading guilty to misdemeanor tax charges, Barry tested positive for cocaine in a court-ordered drug screening. The other men wonder: Did Barry feel that his problems were all coming back? That the feds, as Canady put it, "were starting the whole mess again?" As their histories illustrate, the fault line between recovery and relapse is often exceedingly unstable. The 58-year-old Canady has been clean since the late 1990s. And yet . . . "It's a struggle for me every day," he acknowledged. For several hours last week, in the comfortably furnished living room of a District rowhouse where people straddling the fault line live, Canady and Gaither recounted their journeys and what they have learned along the way about themselves. Their words and tone sought no sympathy. The two D.C. natives know each other from RAP, as Regional Addiction Prevention Inc. is commonly called. The nonprofit organization has been their salvation and that of the thousands of addicts enrolled in its treatment programs since its founding in 1970. Walls of RAP's central offices in Northeast Washington are covered with photo collages of some of those clients and with pictures of the many prominent guests who have stopped by. Among the celebrities: Marion Barry. Canady's distance from drugs today is a marked accomplishment for someone who started on heroin at 16. His father, he said, was his first supplier. At 17, he was arrested for armed robbery, a crime that became murder when the store proprietor he had shot died. By his math, over the next three decades or so he served almost 27 years behind bars on that conviction and various drug charges. LSD, acid, pot, hashish -- he would try anything. "I could take a week explaining this," Canady said, his neat sweater, slacks and genial politeness at jarring odds with his account. And it requires some explanation because the thrill for him was never the high, which over time diminished in potency, but the buying, stealing, lying and sneaking that preceded it. "I was addicted to the lifestyle," he said matter-of-factly. "I didn't have the heart and nerve to do these things unless I was high." Canady suspects a parallel with the District's most famous elected official, who always has seemed to thrive on the intoxicating combination of politics and power. Without that, "Barry's just an old warrior," he suggested. "I'm think I'm settled now. I don't fight me no more," Canady said. He is not sure whether Barry would say the same. Beside him on the sofa, Gaither nodded his agreement. He knows from experience that drug rehabilitation allows little backsliding: "If you're lucky enough and you come to your senses after you use [drugs], you call someone and say, 'Man, I messed up.' " With his last relapse, he wasn't so fortunate. Its trigger was an argument with one of his sons, who angrily -- and accurately -- accused his father of missing most of his children's growing up. Gaither couldn't take the criticism. He found refuge in crack. A "dirty urine" sample exposed him at his parole office. Gaither's criminal resume nearly equals Canady's. At one early sentencing, he remembers, a judge called him "a walking drugstore." He came from just as meager a childhood but graduated from high school, held a job for a couple of years at the U.S. Treasury Department and managed, after his first prison term, to receive an associate's degree in accounting. That was a long time ago and the best it got. These days, if Gaither suddenly feels vulnerable, he calls someone such as Canady for support. Beyond the common denominators of their past, both are grandfathers who say they feel compelled to do better and be better for family this time around. Gaither has two more years before he could be finished with parole, and "the only way I can get off is to keep on giving them clean urine." He has to believe that is strong enough motivation. "We have a saying" in treatment, he said. "If you keep on doing what you did, you're going to keep on getting what you got." - --- MAP posted-by: Richard Lake