Pubdate: Sat, 21 Oct 2006 Source: Journal-Pioneer, The (CN PI) Copyright: 2006 Journal-Pioneer Contact: http://www.journalpioneer.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/2789 Author: Lori A. Mayne Family Ties DRUGS ARE TEARING FAMILIES APART AND PARENTS DON'T KNOW WHERE TO TURN SUMMERSIDE - A father sits in a room at the back of Prince County Hospital chatting with other parents about his son. He's not boasting about hockey games, math tests or girls. He's explaining how he called the RCMP and kicked his son out of the house. The teen has assaulted his parents and stolen jewelry and money from their safe. The family has a daughter with physical challenges. That money would help pay for a wheelchair ramp. This is the world of parents dealing with children addicted to drugs. It's a world where parents live in fear for - and sometimes of - their own children. The father shares his story at a support group. A mother in the room looks at him sympathetically. She describes her house when her son isn't there. "It's quiet at home ... peaceful," she says. "Don't get me wrong, we love our child." But she's planning to get a lock for her bedroom door. This is her story... It's the hardest thing she's ever had to say. "No, I don't want my son home. " The moment came one morning after he'd been out all night doing drugs. Her husband picked him up at a convenience store and took him straight to the police station. When her husband called to ask where their son should go, she said the youth centre. He'd already spent time there for punching her under the ribs. "The bruises didn't hurt," she says. She's numbed by greater pain - seeing him transformed by drugs. "He just changed overnight from a quiet, calm boy - nice, polite - to a very angry child. Hated us. Said we're losers." She's sitting in a living room decorated with lace doilies and family photos. A home where rafters have been searched for drugs. Where chairs have been thrown. Where an addicted young man has assaulted his mom. His drug use started about three years ago. She found out from a concerned family member. "I almost raised the roof." She talked to his school and took him to an addictions counsellor, but he wouldn't listen. He has ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder, which makes him very argumentative. Drug use made it worse. From what she knows, the list includes alcohol, marijuana, percocet, Tylenol 4, valium, dexatrim and magic mushrooms. He could spend a $300 pay cheque in a day. Now, though, he's been fired from several jobs and kicked out of school. She's watched him land home with red eyes and bound straight upstairs to his room or duck in for a shower. He'd be very hungry. She could sometimes smell alcohol on his breath or drugs on his clothes. "I'd always say, 'Stop. I want to look at ya.'" When confronted, he'd get angry. "He would push the chair at me or punch me on the arm or spit at me." To root out his drugs, she's searched everything from his socks to remote spots of the basement. And when he didn't come home, she's searched for him. "I've driven around two, three, four o'clock in the morning all over town." There have been times he's promised to change. "I'll be good Mom," he told her after spending time in hospital for his addiction. "You're good," she replied. "It's the drugs that's doing this to you." She worries other children will fall into the same cycle. This mother knows drugs are sold at high school and junior high because her son has bought and sold them. She says he must take responsibility for his actions, but adds someone started him. "We're not too bad of a family," she says, her voice breaking. They blamed themselves for a while, but going to a support group in Summerside helps. "You find out you're not the only one." Her son has served time in the youth centre for assault, stealing and breaching probation. He recently came home. She's not afraid of being assaulted, but is afraid of what will happen if he doesn't get help. "We don't want to get a knock on the door some night or a call on the phone saying 'Could you come down and identify your son?'" She takes a deep breath. "That's been our worst fear." In our schools, officials say they can only do so much about the drug problem that has left families in such anguish. But they are working toward solutions. WHAT'S HAPPENING IN OUR SCHOOLS? DRUG POLICY (WESTERN SCHOOL BOARD): Minimum five-day suspension (first offence). More serious sanctions for repeat offences. If under 18, parents contacted. Police contacted in case of unlawful activity. Referred to school counsellor. FOCUS ON CHOICES Principals George Aiken of Kensington intermediate senior high and Duncan McKillop of Three Oaks senior high in Summerside say - as with any community - it's impossible to guarantee drug-free schools. For that reason, it's important to help students make better choices. "This stuff is so available," says Aiken. "What we have to do is street-proof our kids." WHAT'S PLANNED Kensington and Three Oaks are presenting The Right Stuff: Positive Choices to Grade 10 students. The program provides sessions on eight topics including drug/alcohol addiction. That session will include participation from a parent, a hospital official and police. OTHER SCHOOL INITIATIVES Drug awareness sessions. Groups such as SWITCH, SADD and Allied Youth raise issue. Youth addictions counsellor accessible. Supervision at dances and school activities. WHAT THEY'VE WITNESSED Both principals feel drug addiction affects more and younger students. McKillop points out some Grade 10 students arrive addicted to drugs. "I don't think they just learned it over the summer." MONITORING Three Oaks teacher Jacqueline Reeves, co-co-ordinator of the Positive Choices program, says it's getting more difficult to monitor. Pills don't give off the telltale smell of marijuana, for example. It's also impossible to watch every corner of the school all the time. TO SEARCH OR NOT TO SEARCH Aiken says school officials have to respect a student's charter rights regarding searches. He explains he has to have reasonable grounds to believe some students are in danger, or a crime's been committed, before doing a search. Sometimes they do random locker searches, asking the student first, if they can search. ABOUT THE LAW Aiken feels the Youth Criminal Justice Act should be stricter for repeat offenders. The support group for parents of children addicted to drugs in Summerside is lobbying for a long-term addictions facility for youth. They also want the right to commit their children for treatment. WHAT'S AVAILABLE Prevention/Education Student assistance program provides access to youth addiction counsellors in schools on part-time basis. Detox Services Two beds for youth at Provincial Addictions Facility in Mount Herbert. Detox typically involves a short stay, five days or so. Three youth counsellors are available at Mount Herbert. Longer recovery program The province will pay for a stay in Portage rehabilitation facility in New Brunswick, which typically means four to six months of treatment. Clients are typically referred by counsellor or doctor and a committee reviews requests. Treatment is strictly voluntary. Information on drug addiction www.peidruginfo.ca www.downondrugs.homestead.com Information courtesy Don Gorveatt, provincial manager of mental health and addictions - --- MAP posted-by: Elaine