Pubdate: Sat, 01 Apr 2006
Source: Des Moines Register (IA)
Copyright: 2006 The Des Moines Register.
Contact:  http://desmoinesregister.com/index.html
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/123
Author: Colleen Krantz
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/women.htm (Women)
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/youth.htm (Youth)

CHILDREN OF ADDICTS

Zoey Montgomery was 8 years old when she got on her hands and knees 
to look for a missing television remote under her family's couch and 
found bags of drugs instead.

She knew her mother was the reason the marijuana was there in the 
room where she and her little brother played.

It's the kind of story that Zoey, now 10, knows only her friend Toddy 
Svoboda -- and other children of addicts -- could truly understand.

It was those shared stories of methamphetamine-addicted mothers 
leaving them for long periods, of caring for themselves too often, 
too young, and of being sent to live with grandparents when things 
went badly that led the two Fort Dodge girls to start a support group 
for children of addicts. They started out planning to call it Kids of 
Meth Heads, but were soon persuaded by other adults in their lives 
that it might go off better as Kids Supporting Kids of Addicted Parents.

They've hung fliers around Fort Dodge, which begin: "Do your parents 
spend more time with their 'friends' than with you? Are your parents 
taking money from you? Do you feel like you are being dumped?"

It's one more sign of how far meth has infiltrated Iowa, where 760 
clandestine labs -- a setting where meth is "cooked" -- were found in 
the state last year. The numbers are a significant decline from the 
previous year -- with most of the credit recently being given to a 
new law that makes it more difficult to obtain pseudoephedrine, a 
meth ingredient -- but the highly-addictive drug is a long way from 
disappearing from the lives of Iowans, including children whose 
parents are too focused on the drug to pay attention to them.

"It's really become a societal problem," said Dixie Lovain, a child 
advocate with the Fort Dodge-based Domestic/Sexual Assault Outreach 
Center. "It's such a problem, but I thought the girls' idea was the 
neatest thing I'd heard of."

In 2005, more than 1,350 abuse cases involved children who were found 
to have illegal drugs in their system because of actions of a parent 
or caregiver, according to the Iowa Department of Human Services. The 
department found 128 children who were present while a parent or 
guardian was manufacturing meth.

Statewide data pertaining to the number of children whose parents are 
addicted to meth is not kept. But last year, nearly half of the 1,605 
child-welfare cases in a 16-county area in southwest Iowa involved 
parental meth use, according to a study done by an Iowa Department of 
Human Services social work administrator.

Zoey and Toddy are hoping other children who have been neglected by 
parents addicted to meth or another drug show up at the weekly 
meetings the two girls have begun holding with Lovain, the child advocate.

"We don't want it to be just kids of meth heads," Toddy, 11, said. 
"But all things like alcohol, other drugs or even gambling."

Toddy's mother, Stephanie Svoboda, who is now in treatment and has 
been clean for more than two months, would often leave her daughter 
home alone during the night at age 8 or 9, said Toddy, who is living 
temporarily with Zoey's grandparents, who are family friends.

"She'd always threaten she was going to kill herself and then would 
leave for the night," Toddy said. "I couldn't sleep because I'd be worried."

She also remembers having to break up verbal and physical fights 
between her mother and her mother's boyfriend. "I'd just get in the 
middle of it and make them stop. I hated it," Toddy remembers. "I'd 
make them sit down or make one of them leave."

"I was a parent for a long time," Toddy said.

Zoey, who now lives with her father, can relate to Toddy's stories. 
By the time she was 7, she was not only getting her own breakfast and 
dinner, but was also often feeding her brother, who is six years 
younger. She also frequently changed her brother's diapers.

She remembers one morning when her mother hadn't returned home from a 
night of partying and she couldn't wake her stepfather. She had to 
get on the school bus and felt terrible because her little brother 
was essentially "alone in that house."

Stephanie Svoboda, 30, said she has been using illegal drugs since 
she was 18 or 19 and has known for years that she had to kick the 
habit for her and her daughter's sake.

"Right now, every day is hard for me" because of the continuing 
temptation that meth represents even after being clean for more than 
two months, said Svoboda, who attends a Moms Off Meth support group 
while the girls meet.

She thinks the group her daughter and Zoey have started is a "good idea."

The challenge, she said, will be that many parents will view taking 
their children to such a meeting as a threat since it might be seen 
as admitting use of illegal drugs.

Zoey's mother, Jody Montgomery, 30, said she is "really proud" of her 
daughter for helping establish the group.

"I am ashamed of what I've done. But it is a disease and it's harder 
for kids if you don't communicate with them about it," said 
Montgomery, who is undergoing treatment for her addiction. The group 
may help her daughter and others to do the talking that's so important.

Zoey said she and Toddy don't hate their mothers, they just hate what 
they've put them through.

"I love her, but she still has to earn back my trust," Zoey said.

The girls will continue sharing stories with each other, but hope 
others will be able to join them. "We talk about our moms a lot and 
it's better" when someone else understands, Zoey said.

Lovain said: "What impressed me about these girls is not only that 
they want to do this, but they really, really care."

[Sidebar]

If You Want To Attend

WHAT: Kids Supporting Kids of Addicted Parents is for children ages 8 to 13.

WHERE: St. Mark's Episcopal Church, 1007 First Ave. N., Fort Dodge

WHEN: Meetings are Wednesdays at 3:30 p.m.

QUESTIONS: Adults call (515) 570-2573. Children call (515) 571-4277 
or (515) 570-4605.

Go to DesMoinesRegister.com/meth to find: PHOTOS: See the effects of 
meth addiction at the women's prison in Mitchellville.

HEALTH: Click on interactive graphics that show meth's impact on the 
mind and body.

QUIZ: Test your knowledge about meth.

COSTS: Check out tables showing drug convictions, prison admissions, 
and spending on addiction treatment and prevention in Iowa. 
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MAP posted-by: Beth Wehrman