Pubdate: Fri, 12 May 2006
Source: South Bend Tribune (IN)
Section: Michiana Point Of View
Copyright: 2006 South Bend Tribune
Contact:  http://www.southbendtribune.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/621
Author: Connie Bolden
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/youth.htm (Youth)

LET'S 'GET A GRIP' ON BLACK MALES BEFORE PRISON DOES

With the recent devastating developments in our community -- the 
shooting death of a police officer and the virtual "death sentence" 
that may be given to two young black males -- I feel compelled to say 
what's on my heart. Like everyone in this community, I am deeply 
saddened by the senseless death of South Bend Police Cpl. Scott 
Severns. No one deserves to die in such a violent manner. My deepest 
prayers go out to his family.

But my prayers don't stop with the officer's family. My prayers are 
also with the two young men who stand to lose their lives as they 
know them. Like the Severns family, the Redding family and the Finley 
family will suffer great losses. But why? What is wrong with our 
young black males? This issue is of particular interest to me, as I 
am the mother of five children, four of them males. Black males.

I believe the answer to what has gone wrong lies with us. As parents, 
grandparents, teachers, coaches and yes, even clergy, we are 
responsible for building the minds of our children. So I challenge 
you all to "get a grip on your sons".

I know both of the boys who have been charged with this heinous 
crime. From what I know about them, I could never have imagined them 
being involved in something like this. But I guess I don't know everything.

So I ask, where have we been, parents and grandparents? Where have we 
been, aunts and uncles? Where have we been, community leaders? We've 
been out to lunch, not on our jobs. That's where we've been. We've 
been busy working 10-and 12-hour shifts so that we can have our fancy 
cars and clothes. But we've lost our children, especially our sons, 
in the process. We've been busy partying, going to the boat, arguing 
with our baby's mamas and baby's daddies. But we've lost our 
children, especially our sons, in the process.

We have got to get a grip on our sons. Otherwise the court system 
will. We cannot allow mediocrity in our boys just because it's what 
society expects of them. Our young black men can do great things, but 
they must first be raised to believe this. They must hear it from 
those most influential in their lives. Black men, you must step up to 
the plate. If you don't already have a son, be a mentor. If you are 
lucky enough to have a son, teach him pride. Teach him inner 
strength. Teach him self-love. Teach him respect. Teach him to be a father.

While my intention is not to offend anyone, I do hope to inspire some 
discussion at dinner tables, at barber shops, at hair salons, in 
pulpits and at community centers across the area. We must encourage 
our sons to defy the odds and become our future congressmen and 
business owners, our doctors and teachers, not the drug-dealers and 
miscreants that society dictates them to become.

Parents, the responsibility begins with us. We cannot be afraid to 
ask for help if we see our sons going astray. We must help each other 
help our sons to stay on the right track. The time is now. We cannot 
afford to keep losing our sons to the penal system as a result of the 
"pistol" system. We have to get a grip on our sons.

Connie Bolden lives in South Bend.
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MAP posted-by: Beth Wehrman