Pubdate: Fri, 16 Jun 2006 Source: Daily News Journal (TN) Copyright: 2006 Mid-South Publishing Company Contact: http://dnj.midsouthnews.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1709 Author: Nancy De Gennaro Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/coke.htm (Cocaine) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/testing.htm (Drug Test) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/meth.htm (Methamphetamine) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/women.htm (Women) ESTHER PROJECT OFFERS HOPE As a meth addict, Toni, the daughter of a Pentecostal minister, ended up in jail after a failed drug test. Shala, the wife of a minister, got thrown in jail for prescription-drug fraud. Gidget abused crack cocaine, among a variety of other pills and powders, and ended up in a drug overdose. Gwen basically lived on the streets most of her life and was introduced to drugs before she hit puberty. "I was 9 when I was first in the streets. The first time I saw cocaine I was holding a belt around my grandmother's arm while she shot up," 24-year-old Gwen recalled. But now all these women are on the road to recovery as participants of the Esther Project, a free, faith-based, drug-abuse recovery program sponsored by the Hope Center and Carpenter's House church. "We are truly free. We are truly here to see people's lives be free (of drugs and alcohol). A lot of people can't get help because they can't afford it," Esther Project Director Angie Creasy said. The Esther Project is a minimum 12-month live-in program that operates solely on donations, and it was opened for enrollment in April 2006. Women attend classes daily but live in a secure, off-site location. Classes cover topics such as spiritual development, social/character development, anger management, substance abuse and education. They do not work outside the program; instead, they do community service around the church. But the last three months, they eventually learn to transition back into society. For Gwen, enrollment in the Esther Project has given her the stability and structure in life she's never had. For her, life has never been easy street. "By the time I was 12, my sister and my brother and I were in the streets," Gwen said as she grabbed a tissue. Her mother and grandmother were prostitutes, so Gwen often had to fend for herself and her siblings. Sometimes that meant stealing food to keep them from going hungry. "By the time I was 15, I was in the street selling drugs. ... Then I got pregnant, and everybody turned their backs on me," Gwen recalled, tears welling up in her eyes. Then she became involved with a drug dealer who beat her regularly. The hardest pain from that situation, however, was knowing her little boy was watching it all. But between the drugs, abuse and neglect she'd endured all her life, she couldn't seem to break the cycle. Eventually she lost custody of her son, a devastating blow. "I really lost all hope. I'd lost everything. I let the only person I had in life down," Gwen said as tears streamed down her face. "I was pretty much suicidal." From drug charges to arson, Gwen finally ended up in jail once again. But during her last time behind bars, "God really started working on me," she explained. She attended church services that were brought in to the female inmates. "These women that would come see me every other Sunday, they told me about the (Esther Project) program. I filled out the application. I waited a long time to come," Gwen said and smiled through her tears. "I knew I needed to change the inside, not the outside." While the other women enrolled in the Esther Project didn't grow up in the streets, the road to recovery hasn't been easy for them, either. Although Toni grew up in a religious household with a "good, solid foundation," crystal methamphetamine tore her life apart. But at an early age, she dabbled in drinking and other recreational products. "I chose to rebel," Toni admitted. But those rebellious days mixed her with the wrong crowds and dangerous narcotics. For Shala, health problems sent her scrambling for pain medication. After six surgeries in three years, she'd bounced around from one pain pill to another. She was hooked, too. She first sought help in a 26-day rehabilitation, which still wasn't a solution, she said. "Even though I was clean, I didn't have any joy," Shala explained as she recalled her childhood, filled with tales of an alcoholic father and an abusive stepfather. "I wasn't in my heart where I wanted to be." Yet another surgery sent her back to the pain pills, although her husband "kept up with the medication" this time, she noted. She found a way to get her pain pills through prescription fraud, however. And eventually, Shala found her way to the Esther Project. Gidget, whose mother died not long after giving birth to her, spent most of her childhood fending for herself. Before her teenage years were over, she'd had three children and a penchant for pills -- especially the anti-anxiety drug Xanax. Then she was introduced to crack cocaine, which sent her world spiraling. "It does talk to you. You shoplift, you steal, your family loses all hope in you," Gidget explained. Crack was just the beginning. "You name it, I've been on it." But drugs sent Gidget into an overdose one night and she "woke up and realized what God was saying." "I started looking for programs on my own. I knew it was the only thing that would save me was God," Gidget said. For all these women, the Esther Project is "like a spiritual hospital," explained Creasy, program director. The program provides the tools and support, but the women do the work, said Creasy. "I believe God can set you free. I don't believe once an addict, always an addict," Creasy said. The story of Esther King Xerxes was in search of a new wife, so he took all the single virgins of the entire kingdom and sent them to be pampered for a year in preparation for him. From that group, Esther was chosen as queen. But she was a Jew, something she hid from the king. Then Esther's cousin, Mordecai, who had raised her, refused to pray to the king's nobleman Haman. In retaliation, Haman got the king to agree to an edict that would kill all the Jews in the land. As a Jew, Esther was scared that she, too, would be included. Mordecai encouraged her to beg the king not to kill the Jews, and he told her, "For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14) The Esther Project derives its name from the premise of the story of Esther. Much like the women in King Xerxes' kingdom, the ladies in recovery are preparing for the kingdom of God for a year, Esther Project Director Angie Creasy said. "They are here to spend a year for the Lord. What they get (from the program) they'll be able to take back (into the world)," Creasy explained. They will be taking the light (the word of God) into the dark places where they came from." Maybe the reason why they have gone through such struggles in life is because they were eventually led to God's service, Creasy added. - --- MAP posted-by: Beth Wehrman