Pubdate: Sun, 31 Dec 2006
Source: Quesnel Cariboo Observer (CN BC)
Copyright: 2006 Quesnel Cariboo Observer
Contact:  http://www.quesnelobserver.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1260
Author: Annie Gallant
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/mjcn.htm (Marijuana - Canada)
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/coke.htm (Cocaine)

FAILURE WASN'T AN OPTION

Near Fatal Beating Brought Addict Back to Life

Steven (not his real name) lived for stress and chaos.

Living a double life - one side honest work, the other drugs - he
juggled the demands like a circus performer.

When he burned all his bridges, the 30-year-old was broke, badly
beaten and with no place to turn - decided to find a way to turn
things around.

His life with substance abuse began with sneaking alcohol from his
parents when he was 12.

By Grade 8, he was smoking marijuana and selling drugs to
classmates.

"I got it free and lots of kids that age were smoking weed," Steven
said.

He was selling and using hard drugs by the time he entered Grade
11.

"It was good money," he said.

"People evaluated you on how much money you had."

But Steven was also working full-time nights and weekends. His first
legitimate job was picking buttercups from a rancher's pasture at the
age of eight. He was never unemployed. Steven still has a strong work
ethic today.

While in school he maintained good grades and went to college where he
earned his diploma and entered a trade.

"I was under control," he said.

"I believed I was doing it all for the money. I was only using for
recreational purposes and I never went to work or class stoned."

Steven believed he had it all. He even went so far as to make sound
business investments with his ill-gotten gains.

However, it was about this time Steven hit a major

bump in the road.

Several friends died, it was a bad year, and Steven lost his zest for
life.

"I didn't care about living," he said.

"I started using cocaine and really got into drug trafficking."

But he maintained his legitimate work because drug bosses like to see
stability and dependability in their drug runners. For an amazing
10-year period, Steven kept both worlds in balance.

A tiny slip-up - he lost an $80,000 drug shipment - and everything
came crashing down on him.

After catching him dealing drugs, Steven lost the support of his
family andowed a drug boss a lot of money.

But drugs were always there. Steven knew he could step up his
operation and make more money and dope money always bought friends.
When he picked up a crack cocaine habit from a prostitute, Steven
began a downhill slide to another big bump in the road.

"The drugs covered my feelings and emotions," he said.

"I was in charge, I was the supplier and could control anyone I
supplied.

"I had all the money and women I wanted. It was all
good."

But the addiction came at a price. Steven became paranoid. The police
were leaning on him and busting everyone around him. When a gun was
pointed at his head by a drug boss, Steven had a choice to leave town
or die.

"I liquidated everything and left town to start over," he
said.

"I didn't know anything about treatment or support to get off the
drugs, I figured I could beat it on my own."

For the next year, Steven worked and lived in a lumber camp where his
addiction switched to alcohol.

"That was acceptable, everyone did it," Steven said.

"I was doing well."

An injury took him out of legitimate work and sent Steven back to
dealing.

"I was always taught there's no excuse for failure," he
said.

"So I went back to dealing to keep up.

"I resisted the first couple of times cocaine was offered, but gave
in."

He was back on his game. Dealing, but higher on the ladder, adding
escort services and fraud to his resume.

But the lifestyle was starting to catch up with Steven.

Drug bosses had his number, so he reduced his activities to just drug
delivery, trying to stay under their radar.

He hadn't contacted his family for so long they put out a missing
persons bulletin with the police.

"I hit rock bottom when I was selling meat out of the back of my brand
new truck just to buy gas to get home," he said.

He cleaned up for six months then returned to his roots with alcohol
and marijuana, even throwing in a suicide attempt.

Steven dragged himself up again. He was clean and ready to go back to
camp work, but on the trip to camp everyone had cocaine. Steven was
using and dealing almost before he reported for work.

However, this time he was using during work and that affected his
ability to function. The company fired him.

No one said anything to him about drugs and Steven figured he had
gotten away with it again.

By this time, Steven was living in Prince George where young, would-be
drug bosses come to prove themselves.

He was dealing and using, making good use of his creative, organized
mind.

Another deal gone bad and Steven received the beating of his
life.

"I barely survived the attack," he said.

"I didn't go to the hospital, I called my family and left
town."

It was rock bottom.

He was marked in every town where he'd operated.

His only hope was detox and treatment.

It wasn't until he admitted to his family, friends and most
importantly to himself that he had a drug and alcohol problem could he
seek the help he so desperately needed.

"I was honest with myself and sought help from Quesnel Addiction
Services," Steven said.

"Now I'm choosing to be clean and sober."

Steven would like to see Quesnel admit there's a drug problem here and
do something about it.

"Kids on the street have nowhere to go," he said.

"They need knowledge, support and a safe place.

"Everyone needs to be aware of drug activities and call the
police.

"My experience tells me that 25 per cent of the population has an
addictions problem of some sort and we need to address the issue."

For those with addictions, Steven's best advice is talk to someone who
has gone through it.

"It's an illness and is treatable," he said.

"Life can be fun without them (drugs, alcohol)."
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MAP posted-by: Richard Lake