Pubdate: Tue, 30 Jan 2007
Source: Chronicle Herald (CN NS)
Copyright: 2007 The Halifax Herald Limited
Contact:  http://thechronicleherald.ca/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/180
Author: Peter Duffy
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/coke.htm (Cocaine)

IN THE WAKE OF ADDICTION HELL, THIS IS WHO SHE WANTS TO BE

She pauses in her story, steeling herself to revisit the horror all over again.

I sit silently in her north-end Halifax apartment, not wanting to 
disturb her train of thought.

Donelda Kent is a former drug-addicted prostitute who's agreed to 
talk about her life in self-made hell.

A petite, astute grandmother of 57, Donelda has shared with me the 
disturbing details of her early years in Guysborough County, a life 
which saw her fleeing a marriage arranged by her strict, 
strap-wielding adoptive father.

She was only 16.

She's related how she ran to Toronto, only to become ensnared in 
cocaine and prostitution before breaking free and putting herself 
through college to become a successful businesswoman.

And how, just when she had life by the tail, things went terribly 
wrong and she rejoined the downward-spiral, this time coming briefly 
within the orbit of Robert Pickton, the B.C. man now on trial in the 
deaths of six women.

Married with four daughters, Donelda lived in Ottawa and worked long 
hours during the 1970s and '80s in property management and 
construction development. She tells me she cleared $10,000 a month.

"Everything was fine," she recalls. And yes, she adds, she was still 
doing a little cocaine.

And then she discovered her stay-at-home husband was cheating on her.

Suicidal, she took the children and fled to Toronto. By the time the 
divorce was over, Donelda had surrendered everything she had to her 
cheating spouse. It was more than a million dollars.

I blink in disbelief. "You just gave it all up? You didn't even fight?"

She shrugs. "My sanity was more important than money. I didn't care."

Soon, she was back on the game, working for an escort agency and 
heavy into the drugs.

"I knew it was my fault," she says, matter-of-factly. "I had choices. 
I could've gone out and got a second job."

That no-blame attitude seems to be her trademark. During our entire 
interview, refreshingly, this personable woman keeps refusing to 
point the finger at anyone other than herself for the direction her 
life has taken.

Eventually, Donelda left Toronto and moved to Vancouver, working the 
streets and doing drugs.

That was how she encountered the now-notorious pig farmer, Robert Pickton.

"I met him maybe four or five times," she recalls. "He didn't want 
sex. I'd bring him drugs."

She felt he trusted her because she'd never rip him off or try to 
steal from him.

He'd allow her to stay over, feeding her steak, back bacon and eggs 
in the morning.

He also allowed her to shower there. "It was a warm place to be," she says.

Her daughters used to fly in from Ontario, begging her to come home with them.

She never did. Until Christmas Eve in 2002 when, yet again, her 
dogged daughters begged her to return.

This time, she heard. "I was a grandparent now," says Donelda. "I 
promised them I'd come home."

She almost didn't. High on drugs, she had her plane ticket stolen at 
the airport. It was enough to make her consider giving up and heading 
downtown for more drugs. Then she pictured her family waiting in Ontario.

"I thought, 'You can't do this to the kids again. You can't keep 
doing this to yourself.' "

And that's what it took. She was finally ready for help and she's 
been clean ever since.

Now settled in Halifax, Donelda's health isn't good. She's in 
remission from bone cancer, has a degenerative disc and bone disease 
as well as osteoporosis and osteoarthritis. She makes ends meet with 
a disability pension.

Her spirit, however, is soaring. Not only has she become a published 
poet and writer, she's also developed something called the East Coast 
Literacy and Arts Network.

Most far-reaching of all, she's begun a metro addictions and recovery 
program called Phase One.

Working with certified addictions counsellor and former drug addict 
Jeffrey Nickerson, she intends the program will provide information 
and support to others who have addictions of various kinds and are 
ready for help. The two of them have been busy connecting with 
various shelters, agencies and outreach programs around metro.

Phase One runs Mondays, starting at 7 p.m., at the Mulgrave Park 
Community Centre in north-end Halifax.

Donelda Kent is helping her community and herself at the same time.

"I'm the person I always wanted to be," she concludes.

She's finally getting on with a life that's been scarred and 
sidetracked for such a long, long time - all because of family.

And you can take that whichever way you want . . .
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MAP posted-by: Beth Wehrman