Pubdate: Mon, 15 Oct 2007
Source: Gateway, The (U of Alberta, CN AB Edu)
Copyright: 2007 Gateway Student Journalism Society
Contact:  http://www.thegatewayonline.ca/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/3149
Author: Jonn Kmech, Opinion Staff
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/mjcn.htm (Marijuana - Canada)
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/hr.htm (Harm Reduction)
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/heroin.htm (Heroin)
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/find?199 (Mandatory Minimum Sentencing)
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/find?142 (Supervised Injection Sites)
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/people/Stephen+Harper

HARPER'S ARCHAIC DRUG POLICY WILL DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD

After Prime Minister Stephen Harper unveiled his new drug policy this 
month, I was appalled at the narrow-mindedness and naivete that our 
dear leader displayed.

I've always been skeptical of Harper's political agenda, but when I 
find out that his son is learning the majority of his drug references 
from Beatles albums, it's time for somebody to intervene.

I mean, Jesus, this boy is eleven. He should be educated about drugs 
the proper way for elementary students: with his parents sitting him 
down, telling him that they just want to talk, then making him listen 
to the Velvet Underground's Heroin.

The other thing that bothered me was the negatively biased coverage 
the media gave Harper's inept plan. Sure, in this case, it's easy to 
sound witty by asking what Harper's been smoking or wondering if 
Steve was stoned, but no viable discourse can be generated on this 
"marijuanagate" through the use of repetitive drug slang. When 
resting on their laurels like that, few journalists posit more 
pertinent queries, such as questioning the potency of said drugs that 
our government officials are currently toking on.

What I'm saying is that our elected representatives just aren't 
blazed enough to come up with sound policy anymore. And who can blame 
them? It's getting tougher every day to find primo shit in Ottawa so 
that they can get through those mundane parlimentary sessions.

This is partially due to our own political correctness. Just look at 
how far we've fallen: Johnny A was hammered out of his mind while 
founding the Dominion-usually with a rapidly growing brown area on 
the front of his trousers-and he's considered a hero.

Today, if our elected representatives decided to discuss a 
sustainable environmental ethics platform for the Arctic Circle while 
engaged in a meth-fueled, no-holds-barred orgy, everyone would flip 
out like they'd discovered that they were sold oregano. Politicians 
need some excitement like that in their lives; otherwise, the job 
would be a total downer.

But it's also due to our nation's drug policies, flawed as they may 
be, which were moving towards rehabilitation and harm-reduction 
programs such as safe injection sites that have so far shown to be 
effective (if controversial). This method struck a vein in helping 
the numbers of MPs and backbenchers that are addicted to Georgia Home 
Boy or Special K get clean, preventing them from actually getting any 
work done.

Harper's ham-handed new platform will brilliantly counteract this by 
adding Nixon's time-tested mandatory minimum plan that has failed so 
spectacularly in the US. There's no actual evidence of this policy 
ever relieving the drug problem, but it will help waste tax dollars 
by filling our prisons with what are, in effect, just minor 
offenders-as we've seen south of the border-while ensuring that 
plenty of coke is left on the streets so MPs can do rails off of 
pages' stomachs to get some inspiration come budget season.

While the plan did outline money for prevention, Harper's continued 
ignorance of harm-reduction policy shows that he's out of touch with 
what actually works. The increase in the focus on enforcement is the 
equivalent of passing the Dutchie on the right-hand side: it's headed 
in the wrong direction. But for ministers who may need a little bit 
of California Snow to excel at the workplace, the scheme is narrow 
and restrictive in all the right ways, like a rubber tube strapped 
tightly around one's upper arm.

These governments, all they do is start wars, man. Like this new war 
on drugs. They lock people up, and for what? Regressive thinking when 
it comes to policy making? They try to solve problems with bullets 
when they can't even feed the people. It's total bullshit, man.

But I digress. Harper's really scraping the bong resin with this one. 
He needs to get hooked up with some quality BC hydro so he can come 
up with a plan to benefit regular Canadians who want the complex 
problem of drug abuse dealt with effectively. Luckily for him, I 
might just know the number of a guy. 
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MAP posted-by: Richard Lake