Pubdate: Sat, 17 Mar 2007
Source: Kalamazoo Gazette (MI)
Copyright: 2007 Kalamazoo Gazette
Author: Greg Francisco


What is more reckless than riding a motorcycle? People get killed on
those things every day. Motorcycles are a leading cause of muffler
burn, road rash and a poor fashion sense. Early use of mini-bikes by
pre-teens often leads to motorcycle gangs in adulthood. It is time to
outlaw motorcycles. For the good of our children.

Nobody needs to bungee jump. It serves no productive purpose. Bungee
jumping puts people at increased risk of AELLS (Artificially Elongated
Lower Limb Syndrome), severe nausea and paralyzing anxiety attacks.
When the thrill of bungee jumping isn't enough anymore people may
graduate to jumping out of airplanes. Nothing less than heavy fines, a
criminal record and public humiliation are called for to stop the
bungee jumping epidemic.

Swimming in Lake Michigan is just plain dangerous. Sure, it starts out
innocent enough. A sunny day at the beach, dipping a few toes in the
water, maybe wading in up to your knees. And the next thing you know
you're jumping off the South Haven pier, swimming out to the sand bar,
developing Blue Lip Disorder. Society must be protected from Lake
Michigan bathers and jail cells are the solution.

Nicotine addicts don't deserve to live in our free country. Cigarette
smoking causes bad hair, bad breath and wrinkled skin. Tobacco is a
gateway to an early grave for 450,000 Americans annually. Besides,
tobacco offends my moral sense. God hates tobacco along with people
who consume it. It says so right in the Bible. I'm not sure where it
says that but it supports my prejudices so I'm confident it's there
somewhere. Tobacco prohibition is long overdue. True, it would throw
the door wide open to South American tobacco cartels, neighborhood
tobacco houses, tobacco turf wars, tobacco grow-ops and drain the
public purse of billions of dollars annually to arrest, adjudicate and
incarcerate tobacco users. But that's a small price to pay for the
greater good of a tobacco-free America.

It is not the proper role of the government of a free people to
protect informed adults from their own folly. Living in freedom means
free to make choices. Even choices others may not make for themselves.
Personal responsibility and a Nanny State government are

End marijuana prohibition. Legalize, regulate, tax, control. There is
a better way.

Greg Francisco

Greg Francisco resides in Paw Paw. 
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