Pubdate: Mon, 09 Apr 2007 Source: Reno Gazette-Journal (NV) Webpage: Copyright: 2007 Reno Gazette-Journal Contact: http://www.rgj.com/helpdesk/news/letter_to_editor.php Website: http://www.rgj.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/363 Author: Jaclyn O'Malley MENTOR PROGRAM HELPS DRUG-ADDICTED MOMS A new program launched in January aims to convince drug-abusing mothers to get help for their addictions before they permanently lose their parental rights. The Mentor Moms program pairs former drug addicts who almost lost their children with other abusers facing the same ordeal. The mentors use their experiences, insight and success at kicking their own habits and getting their children back to motivate other women to do the same. So far, about a dozen women have been referred for services through the program. Many others attend orientation meetings to get help. The Mentor Moms -- Sheena Wolfe, Crystal Merritt and Tina Olvera -- had their children returned to them once they straightened out their lives. Program supervisor Liz Donahoe, of the Sparks nonprofit Tru Vista that advocates for people in the court system, said the mentors will help motivate other women to get on track. She said they also offer tips on how the system works, what to expect and how to interact with social workers. They also will encourage them to not give up. "People don't understand when they use and abuse drugs and alcohol, they are hurting themselves and majorly hurting their children," said Olvera, a mother of four. "Children are innocent and it's not fair to be born into that lifestyle. "I fought to get my kids back," she said. "But I knew I needed to change. My biggest obstacle was taking that first step forward." Basically, the mentors will help substance-abusing mothers navigate smoothly through the social services and legal systems, Donahoe said. The Mentor Moms attend probable cause hearings at Washoe District Family Court, where they try to encourage the women to get involved in the county's drug court and seek treatment. Those hearings occur after a child has been removed from a parent's custody on allegations of abuse and neglect. Most of the women the Mentor Moms encounter are addicted to methamphetamine, Donahoe said, which mirrors most of the county's drug court participants. Because of the addictive hold of meth, it takes addicts longer to kick the drug. Officials said it is proven that the earlier a meth addict can go into treatment, the better chance they have of maintaining sobriety. Washoe County social workers said that more parents are losing their parental rights due to meth addiction and the extended time it takes to get clean because of repeated relapses. But they also said there is hope for those who realize their children are more important than the drug. "It would have been easier for me if I had the opportunity to talk to someone who went through it," said Wolfe, a recovered alcoholic whose 9-year-old daughter alerted authorities to her mother's addiction. "You see someone who has done it, and you think, 'Ah, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I can get my kids back. They aren't lost forever.' " When her child was removed, Wolfe said she was angry and resentful at authorities. "Now that I look back, that was the best thing for me. So was drug court," she said. "At first, you see all the officials, and it's like you're all alone and they're all against you." Wolfe, who had no prior experience with the legal system, said she was spooked just walking through the front door of the courthouse. "We want to tell women that we were where they are, and now, we are on the other side," she said. "There is a happy ending." Merritt, who has three children, said that within the first 90 days after a child is removed, a parent will be assigned a social worker. But she warned that proceedings will appear to move slowly. "The first 90 days are good for parents to work on themselves even though they think they are away from their kids too long," Merritt said. "That is the time to start making new changes." Olvera, off meth more than six years, takes care of four children, including one cancer-stricken 9-year-old who lost a kidney. She is the general manager of a Reno employment agency and goes to school. "Some think they can't do it," Olvera said. "The littlest obstacle and they give up. I want them to know they can do it." But, the women know they will not be able to help everyone. "It's so important when we hear parents say they will do anything they can to get their children back," Merritt said. "Then we at least know they are a good candidate." Wolfe said some parents just aren't ready to quit. "No one can make you quit until you want to," she said. Part of what makes getting sober so difficult for addicts is that it means facing a new way of life, the women said. Donahoe added that it's hard for addicts to ask for help. "Some are just scared because they've lived the drug life for so long," Merritt said. "They have to learn to live all over again. They have to learn to sleep, to work, to eat. And then they have to learn how to be parents. "Your whole world changes," she said. - --- MAP posted-by: Steve Heath