Pubdate: Tue, 17 Jun 2008 Source: Grassroots News (CN MB) Copyright: 2008 Grassroots News Contact: http://grassrootsnews.mb.ca/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/4797 Author: Lyndenn Behm Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/coke.htm (Cocaine) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/youth.htm (Youth) RUNNING AWAY FROM DRUG ADDICTION Love for her unborn child got Vanessa Roulette to quit cocaine for nearly a year back in 2005. Then the shame of smoking cocaine in front of her young son that got her to give it up again in 2007, hopefully this time for good. And finally, the depth of her caring or other young people prompted her to walk from Winnipeg to the Lake Manitoba First Nation earlier this month. Roulette wanted to spare others the horror that she went through because of her addiction to crack cocaine. She also wanted people who were already hooked to know that they can give up drugs. "Anybody can do it if they try hard enough," said the 27-year-old Ojibway mother of three who completed the 175-kilometre walk in three days, arriving the evening before Lake Manitoba's pow-wow, which was June 8. On May 29 Roulette had been in Market Square in downtown Winnipeg during National Day of Action activities. For a couple of weeks prior she had been thinking about walking to her home First Nation to raise awareness about addiction among youth. She also wanted to raise money for a dry nightclub in Winnipeg. Grand Chief Morris Swan Shannacappo of the Southern Chiefs' Organization heard about her plan and brought Roulette on stage to make the announcement. Cole Choken, who ran Calgary to Winnipeg last year to raise money for the fight against diabetes, was in the audience. Like Roulette, Choken, 22, was a member of Lake Manitoba First Nation. He offered to join her. On June 5 about two dozen people gathered for the morning send-off. There was a drummer and a sharing circle. A lot of emotion expressed by the people, many of whom had gone through recovery and healing themselves. That day Choken and his mother Brenda jogged while Roulette walked and a teenager who had been treated for cocaine addition both walked and ran. The second day they were by themselves and the final day as they approached Lake Manitoba they were greeted by other runners including Roulette's older brother Berry McLean and his son Martin. Being able to run on the final day was a triumph for Roulette, who had been unprepared for having to walk more than 50 kms a day on the graveled shoulders of Highway 6. By the first afternoon she was already limping. "I had people counting on me," she recalled at the pow-wow, explaining why she never considered quitting. Choken, meanwhile, wore a warm black jacket although it was sunny. He was preparing for heat expected during his next run, which is to start deep in Mexico and end in Winnipeg. His mother meanwhile showed gritty determination running into the night. "Woman are our life-givers," Swan Shannacappo said during the pow-wow, where he was an announcer. "She breathed life into the run that first day. She was a mother running for her son." Roulette and Choken were introduced to the crowd at the pow-wow, included in the grand entry and later recognized with an honour song. Earlier they had been welcomed by a crowd of people gathered at the Lake Manitoba gas station. Ironically, Roulette's problems began at Lake Manitoba. She says she had wonderful parents and a great family (her brother Paul Cawson and his wife followed her in their car for the entire trek and other family members came to the pow-wow.) Roulette's father died when she was nine and her school years were unhappy. "Going to school I was picked on - bullied - and because of that I grew up hating the world," she says, adding that she no longer holds grudges. She has come to see that bad feelings get in the way of her recovery and happiness. At 15 she moved to Winnipeg and when she was 19 her mother died. That hit her hard and soon afterward she turned to cocaine. She became hooked and spent much of the next eight years on cocaine. She used cocaine during her second pregnancy and the baby was affected, she explains. "I am the one who hurt her and she is suffering and I have to live with it the rest of my life," says Roulette, who said she didn't realize the consequences of using while pregnant. Because of what happened to her second child, she quit cocaine in 2005 for her third pregnancy although she went back to using afterward. Now she wants to help other people avoid repeating the things she did because of cocaine. That, she says, is why she is willing to reveal so much about her own life. McLean, 40, remembers how his sister sinking into addiction while living in the inner city and North End of Winnipeg. "But she never gave up" he adds. "This shows that deep down she had the heart to want to stop..I am so proud of her." Cole will help her prepare for future walks and runs. She said representative of two First Nations, Sandy Bay and Peguis, have already approached her about walks. More information will be forthcoming. She is also looking at becoming involved in other fundraising activities to create healthy options for youth. She also said that she has a Facebook page.