Pubdate: Fri, 15 Feb 2008 Source: Vancouver Sun (CN BC) Copyright: 2008 The Vancouver Sun Contact: http://www.canada.com/vancouver/vancouversun/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/477 Author: Lori Culbert MENTALLY ILL ADDICTS FIGHT DUAL DEMONS Desperate Sufferers On The Downtown Eastside Say They Are Society's 'Throw-Away People' Lisa McNally has haunted blue eyes peeking out from her dishevelled hair. Her hands continually fidget, she crosses and uncrosses her legs anxiously. A large sore is healing under her nose. She's a few days into detox trying to kick her heroin habit. Again. She's tried dozens of times. It's a tough road. Going through withdrawal is hell. But McNally, 45, is also struggling with another inner demon: She was diagnosed as bipolar when she was a teenager. Her mental illness has not been treated, she says, since she came to live in the squalor of the Downtown Eastside six years ago. "I use dope mostly not to feel anything. At first it works and then the drugs make it worse," the friendly, articulate woman says. There are everyday consequences to living in a cockroach-infested room and turning tricks to support a drug habit, without intervention for a mental illness. "The depression parts of it: We get very suicidal. Then the manic parts: You spend everything you have," she says quietly. "I used to attempt suicide at least once a year, usually with pills, and I'd often end up in the hospital." The last time she says she saw a psychiatrist to discuss her mental illness was 10 years ago, during a period of her life when she was clean and sober. A Downtown Eastside walk-in clinic has given her a prescription for drugs to fight depression, but she's had no professionals assess what medications she needs to balance out the bipolar symptoms, she says. She has played some role, she admits, in her slip through the cracks in the medical system because she knows which medical ailment is her priority. "If you're in active addiction, your main concern at that point is getting drugs. So the other stuff goes on the back burner." She's a few days clean as she speaks to The Sun inside a detox centre, and appears earnest about seeking help now. But she also argues there are few services out there to deal with both her mental illness and her addiction. "It [the system] is incapable of dealing with anything. We're just throw-away people. We don't matter at all. We don't feel like anyone gives a s--- about us." The Sun spoke to several women in the Downtown Eastside who are dual diagnosed, and they all echoed McNally's concerns. They complained of being turned away by crammed hospitals; being told to get clean before attending mental health clinics, and being told to get off medical prescriptions before attending treatment for illegal drugs. A frank report released by Vancouver police earlier this month, which said officers have been forced to become front-line mental health workers, argued there is a "prevalence" of dual-diagnosed people in the city and "a disturbing lack of available resources" to help them. And if police are the front-line workers, then St. Paul's Hospital is the "default social safety net," said veteran emergency room nurse Jane McCall. "Our department is overwhelmed with people who are dual diagnosed," she said. "The system has failed them." St. Paul's has secure psychiatric beds, but there aren't nearly enough to meet the demand. "We discharge a lot of people from here that are not medically all that great, they're not in great shape, and we discharge them to shelters all the time. It's an outrageous situation," she said. McCall argued there are few resources in the community to treat both issues these people are struggling with, noting it isn't realistic for mental health clinics to ask patients to be clean before attending sessions. "The reason people with mental illness use drugs is to treat their unresolved symptoms: It's to treat the voices in their heads, it's to treat their paranoia, it's to treat their depression. "To a great extent, the only way to get people into treatment in Vancouver is to get them arrested and charged. Then the court orders it," McCall said, echoing a startling fact revealed in the police report. There are success stories of people who kick their drug habits, but without money, proper housing, and support services they often slip back into their addictions, McCall said. McNally knows that all too well. A few years ago she went through detox and recovery, but went back to the Downtown Eastside -- where there is cheap housing, food kitchens and outreach services -- because she had "nowhere else to go." "The problem is a lot of the help is right here. This is the worst place we can be. The drugs are in your face 24/7," she said, calling for government-run treatment and mental health centres in other areas. In addition to being bipolar and addicted, McNally says she is HIV-positive, was abused as a child, was involved in the survival sex trade, and spent a year living on the streets before finding a hotel room "infested with cockroaches and mice." The mother of three grown children said she was clean for several years until about six years ago. She relapsed, she said, after going through a nasty breakup and custody fight with her ex-partner -- but would like to get healthy again. "It's been awful. You wake up every day and you wonder how you're going to make it. It's a vicious cycle," McNally said, weeping. "I'm just hoping so badly I can stay clean this time." - --- MAP posted-by: Derek