Pubdate: Mon, 25 Feb 2008 Source: Bulletin, The (Bend, OR) Copyright: 2008 Western Communications Inc. Contact: http://www.bendbulletin.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/62 Author: Yoko Minoura RAISED BY GRANDPARENTS - A GROWING FAMILY TREND Though she is generally 20 years their senior, 62-year-old Linda Goodwin said parents with children at Sisters Elementary School consider her a peer. "When Jayna says she's being raised by her grandma, everyone accepts it," the Sisters resident said. Goodwin is part of what local social service officials say is a small but growing group -- grandparents raising their grandchildren. Researchers began noticing an increase in grandparent-headed households with children under 18 in the early 1990s, according to a U.S. Census Bureau report. Local officials said the trend has continued. In 2006, the latest year for which figures are available, grandparents were responsible for their grandchildren in slightly more than 43 percent of households in Oregon where grandparents were living with their grandchildren, or about 645,000 households. Nationwide, the number stood at roughly 41 percent, according to the U.S. Census Bureau's Web site. Steven Guzauskis, the at-home services manager for the Central Oregon Council on Aging, said he's seen an increase in grandparents raising their grandchildren in the past 10 to 15 years. Some grandparents step in to help a single parent. For others, the parent is mired in substance abuse problems. For all, parenting again in the golden years can be a challenge both physically and financially. But having grandparents raise the grandchildren can also provide key stability. "I feel like I have the time to give," Goodwin said. "Working parents just don't have the time (for) school activities, and they can't be there after school, and they can't always (take their child to) the doctor." A Beneficial Arrangement In 2000, he said, the federal government passed a law that accounted for the phenomenon. Under the National Family Caregiver Support Program, adults 55 and older caring for children 18 and younger can receive a small amount of money from the federal government for support services. In Sisters, Goodwin said some of her youngest granddaughter's friends at school are also being raised by their grandparents. Goodwin, who is retired, said she has been what calls a co-parent to two of her grandchildren -- Jessica Hatfield, 13, and Jayna Hatfield, 10, who lives with her now. Her oldest grandchild, TiAnna Hatfield, 16, lives with her mother, Suzanne Brown, in Bend. Jessica now lives with her father in Arizona. Goodwin said the arrangement began when they all lived in Montana and Jessica, then 8, was getting her tonsils removed. Because both parents worked long hours, Goodwin -- who lived about a half-mile away -- volunteered to take Jessica in while she recovered from the tonsillectomy. "It worked out well with everybody," Goodwin said. Jessica ended up living with her grandmother until she was 12 and started middle school. Also during that time, the family relocated to Oregon. After Jessica moved out of her grandmother's house, Jayna, then 8, said she wanted to move in, Goodwin said. Jayna lives in Sisters during the week, when she attends school. On weekends and holidays, she stays with her mother in Bend. Goodwin chats on the phone with her daughter every day to tell her about how Jayna is doing, and they make major decisions together. "I think grandparents can play an enormous role for our future generation," Goodwin said. Choice Vs. Necessity Terry Dupuy runs Lifespan Respite Care, a Bend-based agency that coordinates services for those who need parental support and works with COCOA to help grandparents. She said in about half instances grandparents pitch in because their children are single parents. Sometimes, she said, a parent may have to travel elsewhere to find work but wants to avoid uprooting the children. For the other half of households headed by grandparents, she said the parent is unable to care for their children because of mental illness, substance abuse or alcoholism. "I hate to make the bogeyman our alcohol or drug problems, but sometimes that is a big part of it," she said. Dupuy said methamphetamine use has also created households where grandparents have had to step in. Pat Carey, with the state Department of Human Services in Central Oregon, said many times, grandparents step in before children ever become wards of the state. Relatives are often the first people agencies turn to when searching for foster parents. She said grandparents head only about 2 to 3 percent of the families Lifespan serves, but the number is growing. So far this fiscal year, which began in July 2007, she has worked with about a dozen families headed by grandparents. Dupuy said she did not have numbers for the number of families where grandparents were responsible for their grandchildren in previous years, because those families were not broken into a separate category previously. She said Lifespan generally provides stipends that allow families to pay for respite care to about 200 families a year, and works with another 100 to 150 to match them up to respite service providers. Respite care can be important for grandparents if they are dealing with children born with special needs, such as those who suffer from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or are born with drugs in their bloodstream. And grandparents might have their own medical issues, or simply may not have the resilience of youth to keep up with the kids. Upsides To 'Grandparenting' But Dupuy said she also feels that grandparents who care for their grandchildren often excel because they have volunteered for the responsibility. She said one retired grandfather she worked with considered raising his grandchildren a second chance to do better, because he was always working when his own children grew up. Dupuy said most of the grandparents who head families are still working. But they seem more settled in life, she said, and appear to offer the stability their grandchildren need. Goodwin said she feels lucky to be able to take care of her granddaughter. "When she comes home from school and walks through that door and talks nonstop about her day, and I see that smile on her face, that does it," Goodwin said. "It's just a joy." Goodwin said she and her daughter, Brown, also believe Sisters is a safer environment for Jayna, another consideration in their arrangement. "If there's a need and the grandparents and parents agree, it's great that grandparents can give so much life experience and attention," she said. "I wish everyone would give it some thought." Dupuy said it's not so different from what families used to do decades ago, before people became so mobile. Goodwin said she thinks Jayna benefits from the combination of her mother's and grandmother's parenting. She said good communication is the key. "I'm just here, I'm a benefit and I can give, and we can do it together," she said of caring for Jayna. Goodwin said it's sometimes difficult to work within the limits of a fixed income, but she has found ways to economize. She said she believes many children would benefit from spending more time with their grandparents, because most parents work. "There are times when the kids need their grandparents even more," she said. "Summer, spring break, and there isn't anyone there." Goodwin said she believed more families should consider relying on grandparents if they feel stretched thin. Jayna, she said, enjoys the arrangement. "She always wants to go home on the weekend and see Mom and Sis, but at the end she wants to come and see her friends and Grandma," Goodwin said. "She loves it here. And so do I." - --- MAP posted-by: Steve Heath