Pubdate: Fri, 4 Jul 2008 Source: Now, The (Surrey, CN BC) Copyright: 2008 South Fraser Publishing Ltd. Contact: http://www.canada.com/surreynow Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1462 Author: Ted Colley JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS AND REALITY SHOWS Some times we confuse me. We try to scare our kids away from drugs by endlessly telling them drugs will ruin their minds. I'm reminded of a famous TV spot some years ago that featured a fried egg sizzling away in a pan with the words, "This is your brain on drugs." Fair enough. Some of that stuff can really mess up a perfectly good set of synapses, so avoiding it makes sense. Don't do drugs; good advice. On the other hand, we're OK with reality TV, a phenomenon that surely causes IQ to drop faster than laundry on Nudie Night at the Newton Wave Pool. I mean, they're so dumb it's hard to know where to start. To extend the fried egg metaphor, watching reality shows would be like placing an egg at Ground Zero the day Chernobyl blew. You've got Hell's Kitchen, starring a chef who apparently got where he is today by tossing out f-bombs like beads at Mardi Gras and going out of his way to heap abuse on people in a room full of knives. If this was an honest-to-God reality show, there'd have been a chalk outline on the floor long ago. Survivor. Put a bunch of anti-social Type-As on an island, dangle a million-buck prize, pit them against each other and may the most distorted personality win. But my new favourite piece of crap reality show is A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila. Here's the premise: Ms. Tequila is supposedly bisexual and desperate to find true love. On TV. And in case anyone thinks that's a fake name, think again. Proud parents Al and Doris Tequila live in a really nice doublewide in a park just off the interstate west of Nadir, Nebraska. Anyway, back to the show. A buncha guys and a buncha chicks go live in TT's crib where they must win her "affection" by submitting to a series of trials calculated to test their suitability as a love match for our heroine. Contestants are eliminated until Ms. Tequila selects a winner. Who will come out on top (there's a pun in there somewhere), the studs or the dykes? As the episodes unfold, we see who is ready for commitment and who is not. This is human drama at its finest and the pressure of competition creates some fascinating interplay among Tila and her would-be lovers. Oh, yeah. This is good stuff. Episode Six: The Cat Fight sounds like a new bright spot on the widescreen. Brandi (bet that "i" is dotted with a little smiley face) and Vanessa get all up in each other's faces, then duke it out. Yeah, bet that's hot. Contestants are eliminated for various reasons until only one is left and presumably gets TT all to his-, or her-, self. Hard to say if this is reward or punishment. There's at least one blog that invites devotees to share their thoughts on the show. Surprisingly little to be shared there. Parents, if you really worry about the state of your children's minds, keep them away from this stuff. While you're at it, do yourselves a favour, too. - --- MAP posted-by: Richard Lake