Pubdate: Tue, 12 May 2009
Source: Daily Nexus (UC Santa Barbara, CA Edu)
Copyright: 2009 Daily Nexus
Contact:  http://www.ucsbdailynexus.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/2729
Author: Jonathon Nightingale
Note: Daily Nexus drug columnist Jonathan Nightingale likes drugs.

DO DRUGS INSTEAD OF DRINKING

The I.V. Foot Patrol recently lead the charge to ban drinking on the 
beaches in Isla Vista and, through a massive dissemination of fear, 
convinced everyone that Floatopia would end all life as we know it. 
In reality, this ban just gives them six months to practice the only 
thing they're good at: enforcing alcohol laws. Have you ever had your 
house broken into or something stolen from you? The majority of 
people I've spoken to have found that the police here could care less 
about you or the crimes you have been a victim of... unless of course 
you're holding a red cup. With that said, it is clear that the best 
way to say "Fuck You!" to these ridiculous new laws and the leaders 
who imposed them upon us is to get even more fucked up while simply 
making it appear like you're playing by the rules.

Since it's been established that the only thing that the police in 
Isla Vista are capable of is enforcing alcohol violations, why not 
venture out into other realms of recreation, or for that matter, 
reality? While it's tough to beat taking a couple cold brews down to 
the beach, the coast provides a perfect setting for any other "trip" 
down there.

The colors, sounds and smells of the beach are perfect for a nice 
walk while under the influence of certain things, such as the 
mysterious magic mushrooms.

If any cops happen to be walking on the beach, wasting our tax 
dollars, do not get scared because I'm pretty sure alcohol is the 
only illegal drug in Isla Vista. Nature, including beaches both in 
and outside of I.V., is ideal for shrooming, but those looking to see 
some extra trippy shit should also check out the cornucopia of hiking 
trails in the mountains of Santa Barbara. I would save this trip for 
once the fire is put out of course, as safety is the most important 
concern when undergoing some good old-fashioned mind expansion.

If nature isn't your thing, then spending the day tripping out in the 
familiar territory of I.V. is sure to give you a new perspective on 
your everyday life. Consume some psychedelic substances in the 
comfort and privacy of your own home and then go for a stroll. 
Conversations you have with friends you see walking around might be a 
tad awkward or confusing but you'll take note of all the little 
things you usually miss. Pretty much everything you see or hear in 
Isla Vista is something you experience everyday, so why not see 
things in a whole new light for once? Just don't wander into that new 
multimillion dollar jail facility because the cops are liable to 
panic and arrest you for drunk-in-public.

When nighttime rolls around, the only way to protect yourself from 
the crusade against alcohol is to simply, like I said, play by the 
rules and not drink as much alcohol.

Before heading over to that techno party go ahead and take some 
ecstasy or LSD. While you're dancing and having a great time, other 
people are going to be stuck in line for another shot of Taaka. They 
probably won't even have any Cactus Cooler to chase it with. I love 
alcohol more than anyone, but I must say that UCSB and the IVFP's 
campaign against drinking has presented us with a great opportunity 
to branch out and really explore what this world has to offer.

So next time you're having a great time and really just loving life 
at some party, but all of a sudden you're forced to stop dancing with 
that hottie you've been grindin' on for the past two songs because 
it's midnight, do not accept that the party needs to stop. Instead, 
simply say "fuck the police" and these bullshit restrictions and then 
proceed to do a bunch of cocaine in order to make sure the party 
won't stop for at least a couple more hours.

And as always, don't forget to smoke a fat blunt before you pass out.