Pubdate: Thu, 12 Feb 2009 Source: Columbia Citypaper (SC) Contact: 2009 Columbia Citypaper Website: http://columbiacitypaper.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/4993 Author: Paul F. Blake Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/pot.htm (Cannabis) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/youth.htm (Youth) SHERIFF LEON LOTT SHOULD STOP THE POLITICKING Sheriff Lott is using the Michael Phelps incident for his own shameless exposure and abusing his position as sheriff for political purposes. There are bound to be countless editorials on this subject this week but mine will be different: because when I started writing this, I was as high as a kite. As soon as I heard the news that Lott had ordered the arrest of college-aged kids in connection with the Phelps bong hit, I called a very successful pot smoking friend and said, "I need to smoke." She was very confused as I am known as a staunch non-smoker, but Lott had driven me to the edge. I immediately grabbed a pizza from the freezer, a few beers and a large bag of Cheetos and headed her way. The piece I smoked from was more of a work of art than a pipe. A blown glass USC Gamecock, appropriately, sat perched on the edge of the bowl area, which is where I packed the marijuana. I took a deep hit, and for a moment I was almost grateful that the stresses of the Michael Phelps case drove me to it. I don't remember much after that -exploding memories in a minefield of tension sporadically relieved by waves of euphoric nonsense. Just look at this shag carpet, man. I've never really laid down and studied it like this; it's like a jungle, a complete ecosystem. God, it's beautiful. That decides it: this summer I'm gonna sell everything I own and trek through the Amazon and maybe forage in the trees for a few years. Just a loincloth and a walking stick, man, cause that's how mankind is supposed to live. Forget your laws and rules and... You know, I'd never really noticed before, but after having watched it three times tonight, I can definitively argue that "Harry and the Hendersons" is one of the high points in American cinema. Can you pass the Crunch n' Munch? On Feb 3, The State, reported that Lott would "charge Michael Phelps with a crime if he determines the Olympics hero smoked marijuana." On Feb 9, WIS TV reported that eight were arrested directly related to the Phelps incident. It is a nightmare scenario for all involved. But, last night was a dream within a dream. At one point, I dreamt I was a typical Jewish liberal girl from New York who was dreaming about sharing two bedroom flat with Barack Obama, yet I was upset by how much he hogged the bathroom. I was torn because I didn't want to seem critical so early in his administration, but I really needed to take a wiz. It's funny, though, you don't need to be a liberal or conservative to know when someone's hogging the bathroom. And, that's just what Sheriff Lott is doing. For all the hype our sheriff is giving marijuana, all in all, its effects were somewhat disappointing; all I wanted was to sleep and the pizza never made it out of the freezer. This morning I was up at 6:30 a.m. with no hangover and have actually been extremely productive (unlike nights when I crack the seal on a bottle of hooch). Yes, people will say that our sheriff is simply enforcing the law as it is written. But a sheriff in his daily duties does not simply instruct every employee to enforce every law on the books; a sheriff chooses how his resources (deputies, cars, equipment) are utilized to maximize the safety and well being of the citizens of Richland County. So in this instance, instead of utilizing his resources to stop violent crime like rape, armed robbery and murder, the sheriff has diverted resources to get his name mentioned in state and national media outlets. If you are so hung up about the sheriff and his merciless drive to enforce the law consider this: Under Title 63, Chapter 19 Section 2430 of the South Carolina legal code it is "unlawful for a minor under the age of eighteen to play a pinball machine." If you are part of the "it's the law, the law must be enforced" camp, this constitutes a dereliction of duty by the sheriff. Silly you say? Any more silly than wasting tens of thousands of dollars arresting multiple people for inhaling smoke at a private party which has the effect of making people less likely to commit violent crime (unlike booze)? The point isn't how incredibly stoned I was or how dank the buds were that I burned into my lungs. At the end of the day, when the collective media exhales, this will likely be viewed as a ridiculous personal story that should have never been given much attention in the first place. Lott will look like the power hungry, attention seeking and irresponsible politician that he is. If it wasn't for his selfish mentality, we wouldn't have over crowded prisons with non-violent offenders and we could focus on things like educating our children. Lott is more of the problem than the eight men arrested. Assuming most of them are pursuing a higher education, his interruption of their education for a weak attempt at personal gain is appalling. It's enough to lead a man to the pipe. Send your personal "tobacco pipe" pics or photo shop a celebrity smoking reefer and send to attention Sheriff Leon Lott at --- MAP posted-by: Doug