Pubdate: Sun, 29 Mar 2009 Source: Edmonton Journal (CN AB) Copyright: 2009 The Edmonton Journal Contact: http://www.canada.com/edmontonjournal/letters.html Website: http://www.canada.com/edmonton/edmontonjournal/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/134 Author: Sheila Pratt ANGRY PARENTS, DRUG DEALERS SET EACH OTHER STRAIGHT Both Sides Learn Lessons From Face-To-Face Meetings In Only Program Of Its Kind It's Tuesday night in a Sherwood Park meeting room, and two clean-cut young men with shy smiles take their place near the front. Hard to tell, but they're both under house arrest at the moment, after years on the street dealing drugs, beating up people, lying, wrecking their own lives and messing up others. It's also hard to tell what kind of welcome they'll get from this room of parents desperate to get their own children off drugs. Why would these hurting, angry adults want to talk to the kind of guys who lured their children from them and into a destructive habit? What good can come of this, you have to wonder. A lot, as it turns out -- for both sides. Barry, a former dealer from an affluent west Edmonton home, says coming to this support group, Parents Empowering Parents, has opened his eyes. "Now I can see the impact I was having on the kids and on my parents. I'm really glad I was given the chance to come here." Tom agrees: "I learned we were hurting people and I didn't realize that. But I also learned how to get my respect back and how to live humanely." For parents, meeting someone from the dark side can be a difficult moment, but it's also helpful, says one parent, whose daughter is now back home and doing well. "It's brought a lot to that room," says the mom, who declined to be identified. "It puts a face on the dealer and you're always fighting that mystery about what kind of person has done this to your child." It turns out, sometimes they're "like my next-door neighbour," she adds. The program, unique in Canada, is the brainchild of Sherwood Park probation officer Tina Dow. For a long time, she's been concerned about the lack of followup for the convicted dealers who come through her office. They have to break their own addiction to easy money and destructive living. Dow was convinced that forcing them to see the impact of their crime on others would assist their own rehabilitation, a variation on restorative justice. So about a year ago, Dow took her proposal to PEP, the region's only support group for parents of teenage drug users and a group she helped organize five years ago. As she suspected, both sides found out they have a lot to give each other. "Meeting the parents helps the dealers take personal responsibility for what they've done,'' says Dow. "They want to make amends ... to show the people they have wronged and that they are now doing right." As for the parents, they have a chance to ask questions from the "experts" -- about the drug stash found in the basement, where their kid stays on the street or where they get their drugs. Surprisingly, at this February meeting, Barry and Tom are greeted with warm smiles and the occasional hug from gathering parents. By now, the two former enemies in the battle are allies. "But it didn't start out that way," says Dow. - --- MAP posted-by: Larry Seguin