Pubdate: Mon, 04 May 2009
Source: Kansas State Collegian (KS Edu)
Copyright: 2009 Kansas State Collegian
Contact:  http://kstatecollegian.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/2850
Author: Whitney Hodgin
Note: Whitney Hodgin is a senior in print journalism.
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/find?420 (Cannabis - Popular)

STEREOTYPES FORM AROUND MARIJUANA USE

The criminalization of marijuana is rooted in racism, propaganda and 
the Drug Enforcement Agency's manipulation of both to further the 
white man's agenda. The continued persecution of cannabis users 
symbolizes the last gasp of a government studded with closed doors 
and sweeping generalizations about substances that alter the 
conscience. But beyond the historical statues of dissent forever 
looming over marijuana users like gargoyles bugged by the DEA are 
plumes of hope for a better tomorrow -- or at least a more 
entertaining episode of "Family Guy."

Humor me for a few paragraphs and reconsider the environment we live 
in, where crawling from one poisoned well to another is celebrated by 
hoards of young people drinking from last night's puke pitchers.

For most K-State students, Aggieville provides a perfect stage for 
two (or more) sweaty strangers to meet and fall in love for an 
evening of chugging contests and suggestive winks exchanged over 
shots. It's like they mistake the wafts of warming beer floating 
around as pheromones concocted by nature to attract a suitable mate 
every single weekend.

How many regurgitated beer nuts do you have to pick out of your teeth 
the next morning to realize that spending $40 to bump uglies with 
whatever is lying next to you in bed isn't worth it?

I'm speaking from experience. I spent about three months in the greek 
world, striving to meet the heroic bar set for each pledge who wants 
to prove themselves by crawling with the best of them. After spending 
my first K-State football game withering under the sun and silently 
throwing up when no one was looking, I swore it would be my last. 
We've all made that promise to ourselves at some point, but I'm here 
to tell you that marijuana helped me keep that promise to myself. I'd 
be damned if I ever scraped a beer nut out of my teeth again.

Why am I ostracized from society and threatened with incarceration 
for preferring the noxious fumes of a burning bush to abusing my gag 
reflex with Jim Beam? You can research the historical implications I 
mentioned earlier on your own time; I'd suggest starting with the 
documentaries "Grass" and "SuperHigh Me," which are both available at 
Digital Shelf. Both films do a great job at lining up the facts in 
plain, entertaining English, as I am doing here, but with the added 
benefit of celebrity spokesmen like bonehead Woody Harrelson and 
high-eyed Doug Benson.

And while I'm furiously typing this column in a dead-week manic 
panic, I'd like to give a shout out to all my ladies out there with 
overworked cannabinoid receptors (you know who you are if you know 
what I mean.) We've endured years of misinformed social stigma about 
pot smokers and brownie eaters, forced to ally ourselves with couches 
laden with male gamers who scratch and sniff their pajama pants more 
than an overheated thong on a Saturday night in Aggieville.

So yo ho ladies and gentlemen of the herb. Do not be ashamed of your 
personal taste in downers or your aversion to spending hours in heels 
tramping around town only to stumble home barefooted the next 
morning. The high of marijuana is far superior to how far one must 
stoop to accurately hurl into a toilet at Last Chance Saloon.
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MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom